VIVA LA WOOHOO!!

Listening to : Cemeteries of London - Coldplay

If you ever ever thought that you've seen one of the best concerts in your life.

You haven't if you have yet to see COLDPLAY!!!

Yesterday was the surprise day where me and my bro brought sally and shiming to Coldplay's Viva La Vida tour!It was so out of this world! I've seen their concerts so many times on youtube.

Ps. I am a real HUGE fan of coldplay.

I Really am. However, i didn't expect the concert to be so mindblowing.

It started with the first life in technicolor where they got in position.

They seemed to time it so well such that when Chris Martin got in position and the first strum he made (which seemed so unnaturally natural), he was in total sync.

It was really mesmerizing.

Then they moved on to Violet Hill where they had some fun with the crowd and got us wild.

Then came one of my favourites. Clocks.

Then another big timer. Yellow. I love it man.

The way they hyped the crowd, climaxed at several parts of the song.

Wow. man.

Then came my favourite. Fix you.
I know many people say that their favourite would be viva la vida or life in technicolor.

However, It really is the Old School.

And i wasn't disappointed. When the Bang came he really BANGED!

Jumping all around the stage and literally getting people jumping.

WOW! I've never been so impressed by a single performance before!

They didn't take breaks in the WHOLE concert. Ok maybe a 3 min one in which they even made us do something amazing to entertain us while they change up. A HANDPHONE KALLANG WAVE!

Also, they even went into the middle of the audience standing on a make shift platform to do a few acoustics. I was THIS CLOSE to them! Ok its relative. Let me show you.

So i was THIS CLOSE TO THEM! I was so enetertained by it i still have yet to get over the whole event yesterday. I even bought a book. I have to admit, coldplay really is the best band. If they come again. I will watch them. I'll be the first to buy their tickets for sure. Not only that, if you are reading this and you didn't catch them. Please do so. For Viva La Vida and Death and All His Friends.

Be my mirror my sword my shield, my missionaries on a foreign field. For some reason i Can't explain, I know St Peter Will Call my name, that was when i ruled the world.

Yes my feet will not touch the ground now. WOOHOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Treasure

Listening to : Valerie - Amy Winehouse

I'm glad that i'm home on a Sunday but i'm relatively happy.
The mood of your day is really up to how things are gg in ur life.
At least for me... For now, things are looking good.
Ok, well, when the time comes for me to be stressed... i will be.
On the other hand, it seems to me times does fly. And i'm happy.
ORD counter is now 7 and a half months. So soon soon soon!
Hmmm, i just thought of something actually.
Someone asked me this question once, if you could go back in time to change anything...
What would it be??
Well, to me the answer was simple.
Nothing.
I wouldn't change anything before cause if i did then all that i am now wouldn't be me.
Thats my theory of things that is.
I'm glad i made mistakes and victories in the past cause everything that happened before made me me today one way or another.
Yeap. i love shi ming alot alot.

The wrongs, the past

Listening to : Look After You - The Fray

The past week or so has been rather hell.
For me emotionally and physically.
I've done some wrong things before and i really regretted it.
I'm happy now that its all settled.
Well, its goodbye to the Chiong days.
Its a sacrifice i'm really really willing to make to keep the treasure i have.
I guess I realised to best factor to happiness has been in front of me ever since.
Anyway, I'm just happy that the week's almost over...
That I'm moving on, or rather we're moving on...
Speaking of which, on a lighter note....
CoG has been great. I think I may have my heart drifting to them.
I've been wanting to move Derrick so much.
I'm happy things are changing.
Honestly, I'm happy the way things are right now. Though it may be a little confusing.
Thats all, time to book in....
PS. I dunno how to complete 42 km. I'm not consistent!!!!

Happiness

Listening to : 1812 Overture

So the first day of the week.
Yes it didn't go well. I was rather demoralised yet again.
The only up side of things was that i was morning shift. Well,
Honestly, my weeks haven't been great. I've really been feeling well lousy.
I can't really put a finger on why is that the case...
However, one thing i know for sure, I'm trying to fix things up.
Its been a while since i've been deprate enough to cry out to God for help.
I'm quite glad i did. Anyways, I guess and I hope this would be the start of a new 'GOOD' streak.
I'm feeling alot better and well, energized!
Rented and watched one of my all time favourite movies.
V for Vendetta.
Well, I'm not too sure why i'm so inspired and why I love that movie so much...
I guess cause yes it does bring back memories...
Hoever, more importantly, its about standing up for what is right.
Even if you're the only one who is....
Fear is a choice, not a compulsion.
This was well, spoken to me in the film just now...
Guess it came to me again when i chanced upon a blog and it said...
Fear is an option. There is nothing to fear if God is your God.
I believe that. I trust in that. Thus I shall not fear....
I have to admit, I haven't been the nicest person to be around.
Just cause i'm always perpetually annoyed and tired.
Well, thats all going to change from today onwards.
Happiness orginates from us not condemming ourselves.
From us having a guilt free conscience.
So don't go about torturing yourself. Enjoy....
Go figure...

Trying to thrive

Listening to : Life in technicolor - Coldplay

It really does get mundane at times. Life that is...
The weeks are just passing by somehow..
I'm not really putting in much effort into well having fun.
I mean, i have to admit, i'm alot more easier to please.
For example, I have stayed in my room for the past 10 hours. Doing what??
Well, i apparently have wasted it away. Haha.
Although i do feel satisfied trying to grow my connect group and well increasing the numbers for Sportsfest. I feel the need to do more with my life.
Yes Lionel is reflecting on life.
My work place is honestly, getting annoying.
The management is being quite anal. But oh well. I'm trying to adapt to it.
Apparently my problem of english has come back to haunt me.
It isn't just in JC guys. Yes, LAUGH! haha.
Well, its a big issue for me now and i gotta fix it/correct it asap.
Coming to another point. I haven't seen feline and xy in god knows how long.
Let me reiterate and highlight that point. We haven't seen each other for the longest time.
I do hope we meet up soon.
Its funny how we still keep in contact.. Well, i recently explained to someone that I don't wanna let go to my JC friends as easily as i did for my sec school friends.

Also, tomorrow is a big day for the juniors.
Its been a good year since I got my A level results.
I remember the excitement, the shouts of joy. MERE SHOCK. The surprise.
I will never forget how i fealt and the reaction not just me but half the world had.
Haha, well, those were the days. When i was happy that some ppl were proud of me and i was glad and proud to say that I didn't do it myself, but with the help of God and friends.
Wow, that brings back a good amount of nostalgic feelings.

In fact, now that we're talking about the past, I realise even the 72/08 OCC is commissioning soon.
That implies 2 things...
1) Its been 3 months since i've been fully operational.
2) 8 MONTHS TO ORD BABY!!!
Yes i'm rubbing it in to some people. But oh well. its my blog.
Indulge in me for a moment.
In fact, i can't wait. Recently i just got catted and well, work is pilling up.

Oh well, Since i'm in a roll...
I shall continue reminicing the past.
My connect group just got back their common test results. Good lord,
It's been let me see... 5 years since i was in seconday school.
Those were the times of both stress/worry/servanthood.
I was happy but I'm glad that it worked out ok.
I didn't do THAT fantastic for O levels. But i'm glad i did the way i did.
heh, I realise I do look back into the past quite a bit.
I don't think its entirely a bad thing. Though we should really embrace the future.
However, its good to just look back and see how far we've come eh.
To think i was a small dumb rebel in the past.
Hmmm... I won't say I've changed much. HAHAHAHA
thats life for me and i love it man. OH YEAH!!!

Ok thats enough emo-ing for a while.
Back to reality, i've been running so much but i got into a slump when i fell sick last week.
Trust me, trying to get back the old stamina after a slump is the worst thing that can happen.
I've been looking to many things for motivation.
however, I guess the ultimate motivation for running is well, to be who i am.
I've grown to love running so much. If i stop....
Well, i won't be myself.
Thats in my opinion at least.
it is said that if u give a kid a ball, u give him many things.
You give him healthy lungs,
You give them more confidence than yesterday
You give them bigger laughs, bigger calves.
You give them stronger minds, stronger bonds.
You give them better lives.
Thats what I believe in.
Disregarding all the talk about society and psychology.
This is what running is to me. To make me a better man.
Yup. Though I admit that recently I haven't been the best person,
picking up bad habits and all those things.
I believe that after I run, i'm a better person than before i did.
Also, I'm THAT much closer to God. yeah, it does make a difference to me. heh.

Alright, this has to be my longest entry. I enjoyed blogging this time round.
Time to run....

the Bail

Listening to : Citizen Erased - Muse

I have been to many 1 year birthdays of kids.
However, I've been to only a few wakes.
Only 1 funeral. Till now. And why does it have to be the most shocking of them all.
It only takes a small effort to lose a life. but alot to keep it. That is what i believe in.
However, No father should be around to send his son.
Today... We as a family sent a child...
Marcus would be remembered forever.
Some or rather many would ask why take a child of such young age goes.
Why Why Why. However, rather than asking why and mourning what i've lost.
I'd rather relish the memories shared. Cause the dusk is the darkest before dawn.
I was supposed to teach him how to run, play basketball, chase girls.
Or what i hoped for. All i can do now is pray that he is in greener pastures...

Is this it?

Listening to : All Eternity Awaits - SG Youth

Is this the change that is happening?
Is this what I really want?? In offering my life...
Yes I hope it is... I know it is!
Haven't felt this way in a long time. Not just to please or to impress....
But I feel a real burden.....
What am I doing?? It isn't enough.....
I need to do more. Alot more...
To win the souls and hearts of millions, i must start with mine...
That is my goal for the year. I believe 2009 is indeed a different year.
A different note, a different start....
Not going back, but becoming a new conqueror. Above all that was.
Alright, enough talk... more action to be done.
Starting with this Sports fest. Time to throw away the pride...

On another note, I gave in to my sickness today. I just couldn't help it.
I took mc for tomorrow. I'm too tired... too weak in the meetings.
I'm trying to take down minutes and stay awake. It ain't easy man.
It seems derrick really got it bad. Hope he gets a change of situation.
Well, i Hope i recover soon. I really want to run very badly.
Very very badly. Yeah. To do that i need to recover from my sickness!! I'm trying all sorts and means. New medication, new everything. I'm even drinking peach tea cause it may just perk me up. HAHA!! Can u imagine... PEACH TEA!!! YAY!!
On a more serious note... i need to tame both my flesh and the spirit.
Its kind of a trg year for me. Haha.
BUT BUT BUT!!! Like what Tong Dee has said....
Admist the intense stress and focus in my life...
I'm essentially still....
A HAPPY GO LUCKY GUY underneath all the frowns and sweat. :)
Yay!
Alright. Time for some music therapy by 53A on youtube and to rest for another 10 hours. Look forward to lunch with the Dr.

changed heart

Listening to : Saturday Nights Alright - Nickelback

My head is trobbing...
Body is hot...
throat is in pain...
Nose is blocked.....
Everything points to one word.... MC!
However, I'm still going to work tomorrow!!!
Yes, even i am surprised. Its the first time i actually turned down an MC from a doctor.
There's just too much work to be done tomorrow.
Don't wanna be a slack off idiot and not do any of it.
So yes, i'll do my part to chip in to the squadron.
For me, i guess i really look to this squadron as a responsibility now.
Not just a job or chore. But guess i want to help out...
But yes, I'm still in a very very very rotten state. Or how'd u put it...
I'M DYING.
Ok exaggerating. Either way, life goes on...
Sports fest is coming up... There's really alot to do in this week.
I'm both excited and tired... Its rather contradictory. But i'm really trying to have a changed heart to the aspects of church as well.
Trying to give it more effort and more of myself.
I shouldn't forget my roots eh.
Alright. time to sleep...12 hours of sleep, here i come....

Hero

Listening to : Citizen Erased

Its a saturday morning. And i just realised. I don't hae much to do...
Haha, guess it ain't like the normal book outs of a cadet anymore.
Not too hardup to go out and all. Oh well...
However! One thing i REALLY feel like doing now is
PLAY GUITAR HERO!
This is random. I know... but yeah. I got the sudden urge to do so.
Its coming to the end of the month!
Everything has taken a full cycle. Or almost everything.
School has started in JC, SM exams are starting, CNY over...

I've actually come to appreciate my workplace quite a bit.
Though there are sudden stresses as well as injects.
The people i work with are nice at the same time vigilant.
They're not lazy... Like me... SO yes, i do have to pick up a trait or two from em.
Who knows... I may just sign on.
Ok... maybe not.

Its been quite a while since i've actually met up with ALOT OF PEOPLE.
I dunno why too. Guess I HBB too much....
Yup, at least I admit it eh, UNLIKE MARK!
But yes, haven't met up with the trackers, the family, the gang.
Wa, i really gotta make some time this week to meet em....
So if you're reading this and realising you're part of it and recieve a call from me...
Yes lets meet up...

Enthusiasm

Listening to : Love remains the Same - Gavin Rossdale

So it seems that me posting an entry two days in a row shows that i am EVIDENTLY BORED!
Well, its beyond the point of resting to boredom.
Why am I so free at this hour?
Its really cause i'm on night manning tomorrow. Can't say much cause I may have to kill anyone who reads this entry. But yeah, i'm basically 12 - 9 tomorrow.
Which really honestly SUCKS. Cause i was planning my night for 2moro.
Yeah. SO much for timbre / Mambo with SM.
I do hope to do one of them despite the manning status though.

Anyway, I actually me up with the old old OLD gang today.
Like if u thought u were my first batch of friends, you're wrong.
Met up with my Pri school friends. People whom i've known since Pri 1.
Some even Earlier. So yeah, my childhood friends.
I'm glad I met em and see that they're doing really great and all.
We all went different paths after sec school....
OK MAYBE ONLY I WENT ON ANOTHER PATH.
Ultimately it was a really good time to catch up. I hope it doesn't become a once a year event.
I do wanna keep in contact more often, hopefully that'll happen in uni...
I've got a few groups of friends, this is one group i really WOULDN'T want to lose.
No matter how long we've not met up, i can seem to talk to them as easily.
No stress whatsoever. I can imagine how it'll be when one day we all get married.
HAHA! It'll be really funny then.

Speaking of old time friends, there's another friend which i suddenly remembered.
Yup thats Tan Sijia. Haha! Its been wat, 5 years???
Longest running best friend. Nothing more, nothing less...
Glad to be around such good people both past and present and definitely future.
Some people really can't be replaced at all.
Yes I do feel blessed. :)

Meaning

Listening to : Secret Valentine - We the Kings

I know my blogging habits are rather irregular. Blame my friends for it!
Well, i simply have very little or no time to blog anymore.
At least after the new year and festivities, things are more settled down.
Well, as i said, i've got many resolutions. But one side point is to give myself time.
Time to just. NUA. and well, do nothing and laze around at home.
I dun need to keep going out and all.

Well, NS has been rather good. I'm settling really nicely in the squadron.
Despite the heavy demand on our time and weekends at times.
I'm quite ok with it. I guess its the company and all.
I want to make the most out of many things!

A big change for me this year which I am PROUD to say I'm doing is that i'm going for a marathon!!! No I won't wait till the year ends for standard chartered. I'm doing the sundown.
So because of it i've been training often enough.
Its actually fun in some ways. I've lost alot of speed but gained more stamina in exchange.
Running everyday MYSELF is really a big change.
Since i'm stay out, it does take some effort to go for a run. Yeah, now i think i'm progressing just right!!! Hello 42KM!!

I know i mention this in every entry i do. Yes i do love my girlfriend.
I dunno why, i guess its cause we've been together for SO long. I'm really happy.
I'm happier everyday cause of it. Friction may appear but never really lasts i guess.
I'm trying to catch the fire back for wat i used to be passionate about.
I'm trying to become wat I was when I was in JC and School.
Both in terms of running, spirituality and focus.
That was the climax for that period of my life. Yup, now i'm trying. I hope to achieve.

Now i know what it is to emo....
EMO....

glue

Listening to : Love Bug - Jonas Brothers

It really has been a while since i last posted an entry.
I've either been really lazy/tired/busy to blog most of the time.
Only recently have i decided to blog again. I need an avenue to release most thoughts.
Well, lots have been happening recently since like last year after commissioning.
Life hasn't been too different though.
Honestly, the break after comms was good. Had some good time to catch up with some good old friends and spend some time with shiming.
Wasn't a good time for my wallet though. OUCH! Time for me to really start saving up!
Also, life as a newly commissioned officer has been good!
At least I feel part of the whole system, other than simply getting trained, i'm giving back!
Its like now I'm playing a part in the security of the country.
Maybe it makes NS feel a whole lot more meaningful for me.
Though it does mean a hell lot more responsibilities on my shoulder, it is indeed something i look forward to do. Its probably a shift of attitude since AFS i guess.

Maybe not just in terms of my NS life. Maybe there is a small shift in attitude for all of us.
Was casually conversing with a close friend and i've realised.
We all have changed one way or another since school.
Be it army or uni, it has made us different. It has made us a little more mature, down to earth.
No point chasing things which don't really matter anymore.
Other than the occassional playful nature which comes out once in a while.
Guess cause we're getting old, experiencing symptoms of both our childish nature and adulthood.
Yes. DAMN we're turning 20 this year.

Another of those points is that I do have some resolutions this year.
This time i kind of gave it some good thought about it. Yes i did.
This year i really do wanna get those goals done. Hopefully i don't give up halfway again like last yr. Ooops. Wait, i didn't do new year goals last year. haha!

Other than that, i'm still living by my deepest desire everyday.
To love this life. I know its late but yes, 2009 will be awesome stuff man.

Hou Mei

Listening to : Somebody told me - the killers

Commission loh!!!
Block Leave Loh!!!
Genting Loh!!!
Christmas LOH!!!
NEW YEAR COMING LOH!!!!
Yeah, that sums up almost everything.
its been so busy my body clock spoil. Oh well.
HOU MEI!!!!

buddy budyy

Listening to : Insomnia - Criag David

One more week. Just one more week to i throw the cap. I can't wait man.
The week passed by alot faster than the 1st week. Guess cause of the many breaks we had. However, the last week will be the toughest of them all.
morning till afternoon marching and everything. I believe i can do it!
The hightlight was still the 10 x 400. Though we didn't win, we gave it our best in trg and the day itself. In the end, it totally wasn't something about competing but really, its something which i really enjoyed.
It brought back memories and it was simply fun. We all made it a point not to put on any stress but just give it your best and enjoy taking over. Thats what happened. and yup, WOOHOO!!!

Shiming finish her exams

Alvan is back.
Half of everyone else is going to commission...
WOOHOOO!!!
It seems all of the closest around me are back!!
I really wish i just had more time out of camp to simply spend time em!
As for shiming, (i know she will read this), i'm happy her exams are over.
I dunno about the rest but to me, it seems that exams in uni are no joke.
Like your stress level can hit all time high.
To think that A levels was the most hardcore!
Yeah, and Alvan killed a quail and is back and is more man.
Yup, those are my buddies for you.
Even when we're going to commission, i kind of hope not to lose contact with some of the air wing people. I guess for me, the only take away from NS is really the friends. Ok maybe some core values blah blah blah.
But we all know its rather rubbish when you're totally out of it.
Now in the outside world, I do wanna keep in touch with some of the guys. They're really kind of fun.

HOWEVER! Swinging to other extreme. There are people whom i totally DETEST in air wing! Ok, just about a handful but yeah, i really detest them!
I mean, how low an EQ, IQ can they have!?!?
Shall not say much but apparently the sentiments are mutual.
Which i am totally ok with. I really am. However, if u wanna tell the whole world about it, you don't do it on a blog which is really public.
Let me give you an example, if u wanna BITCH about an individual, you don't put your blog address on your msn nick. Its DUMB.
Guess he thought "Oh i didn't give him my blog add, he wouldn't read it!"
Well, it seems that C3 training ain't that useful after all. So much for considerations eh??
Ok enough said, anymore and i'll be reduced to his level. (btw, he probably spent a whole afternoon blogging about how much he hates everyone).

On a lighter note, the long weekend is really enjoyable.
I can't wait for block leave. I'm still really hoping for the trip to come to past!
Time to go out now!! WOOHOO!!!

never noticed

Listening to : About a girl - The Academy is...

its like a few more hours to book in time!
I dunno, its been so long since i felt like i don't wanna book in.
This time i really don't wanna book in.
Its just so so dreadful and all. The fact that i'm going so far away and all.
Saturday book out just spoils everything and stuff.
Either way, i'm going to try to make the most of everything. I say TRY to make the most. So i dunno if i'm really able to effect change at all.
Other than that, i'm hoping that this week will be alot better with shiming ending her exams and all.
All this rubbish for one commissioning parade. I do hope its really worth it.
Well, enough said, time to book in really soon!

3 hell weeks!!

Listening to : Just Stand up

I thought that life in joint term couldn't be THAT difficult. I mean seriously!!!
How hard can 3 weeks of marching be.
Well, the week wasn't just physically tiring but also rather saddening.
The fact that we're SO far from home!! It really sucks!
Though we had 2 nights out!!!
I didn't go out at all. no point at all i guess.
However, the only thing which i thought was really useful was actually running.
Despite the extreme strain on the muscles and yes the rush of blood to the head.
It really feels like school again. HAHA!
Yes it does! I actually love it. Also pushing others to do it also.
It all kinda makes sense. I just hoped we had started a little earlier, it would have had amazing effects. As of now, we still are fighting.
A 10 x 400 race. Ain't easy at all!!!
Well, wish me all the best for the next 2 weeks!!!
Then commission loh!!!
However, after that, what next? I mean, i never really really thought about it.
Part of me honestly wants to be that playful boy. Another ones to be good.
Hmmm, somehow i know i'll drift towards the bad boy then after good boy.
Yup. thats me! WOOHOO!!!

Change the world

Listening to : Heaven - CHC

The past 2 days were really quite mind blowing.
I was excited for Asia conference. However, i never knew that it would be this great. I was really really impressed by all of the moves and words spoken upon us.
For me, i really somehow believe that there is going to be a huge change in the world in the next few months.
When there's economic crisis, this is when the move comes. Lives change.
Theres really nothing much i can say. I don't want to lose the touch.
Admist all the busy schedules lined up. I won't want to be left hanging.

Young once only

Listening to : Summer hair forever young - The Acedemy is

My leg, is dying...
Literally. There're cuts and blisters and everything everywhere.
All cause of the boots and everything. Cause mine is so new, it is SO hard.
Thus it keeps cutting into my legs!! I so want to change the boots to an older pair! Well, for now its all suck thumb.
All the pain for the next 3 weeks and then we are FREE!! Commissioning is really just around the corner. Oh man!
SAFTI also feels really freaky compared to AFS.
Honestly, AFS was like the best it could ever get. Close to no regimentation.
Safti on the other hand. I'm waiting to die. Die a slow and painful death!

Just a little more

Listening to : The Saddest Song - The Ataris

Its been close to a year since i've first heard this song. Yup.
I guess it has stuck with me throughout cause it really does remind me alot of school and studing and basically enjoying life.
Maybe wondering why life ain't great now, cause of Army.
However, i'm really at the tail end of everything. In a few hours, i'm going to be given my brevet and my sword. That to me is quite big stuff man.
In 3 weeks i'll be commissioning. I know i say this all the time but....
It really is THIS close.
Its been such a long long painful wait.
As for now, gotta catch up with most of the juniors whom i haven't spoke to for a while. Yup. they're all great people. Yes they are. HAHA!

The world in your hands

Listening to : CCC

So it seems tha this whole week was more eventful than i thought it would be.
Meeting up with juniors feels great. Maybe it makes me feel like I'm young in school days again. Or maybe cause i really love hanging out with them.
A few friends to me are really important. The whole bunch of them are to me.
So thank god for them and hope they all do well for their exams and all.

However, the most impactful thing would really be the coming Asia Conference.
I'm really sad i can't go for alot of them.
However, i really can't wait to go for those that I can.
This will really change the entire Asia and most importantly the lives of my family. When the miracle occurs, when it actually happens for ging ging, the family will come to believe, then the entire household will be saved.
The entire household of the Choong. I really want that to come to past.
Little can describe how much I want to attend this.
To really impact the culture and be a person of good ethics based on my Faith.

The recent Hitler trial actually raised up many questions which were not answered. Or rather, too grey to be answered.
One of them was the seperation of Morals and leadership.
Also, can morals really be clearly defined?
It isn't as simple as how I put it " Would you kill your grandparents if ordered".
Though its a really good point, and i'm honestly shocked how I managed to say it out. However, it really is too general a statement.
However, to me personally, what determines moral or not, it isn't simply about whether its right or wrong. However, whether something God would call me to do.
I gotta admit, as flakey as it sounds. It really is true.
It doesn't cross my mind often but when really button press i gotta do something i dun wanna do. I'm really going to fall back to that.
Now this Asia conference will help to determine all this.
How we live our lives out for the good of the people and God.
It'll be a time when i think i'll be refreshed. Yes it is. and i believe so.

Make me laugh

Listening to : Hate that I Love you so - Rihanna

So it seems that it is indeed our last week in air force school.
Its been rather eventful actually. hmmm.
Ok maybe not, rather UNeventful. Cause of the CAF interaction and all.
So its alot alot of work.
However, it was interesting when he brought up 2 points of the whole dialogue.

When he said that the culture in Singapore and USA is really different.
If nobody calls you shit-hot in the US, means you're really Dog-shit.
However, If nobody calls you Dog-shit in Singapore, means you're really Shit-hot.
Well, If you get the entire statement, i really find it very very true.
Why are we living in such a sad sad culture.
Where the whole country revolves around punishment, scolding and mere fear.
Not to say it ain't good, don't get me wrong. Its brought us this far and its awesome. However, it really is demoralising for one to constantly be scolded.
If thats what it takes to be the best, i rather not.

Another point he raised was that, in the military or any real organisation,
Your closest person really is your buddy.
When button press, it really is the person beside you you're going to protect.
Also, Don't bother counting loose change and have simple little issues come between each other.
When it really all boils down, will you let the person beside you die cause he didn't pay you 50 cents? Its sad.
SO yes, friendships are important, that I know now.

Therefore!!!!! I have decided to really take all the time i have to give back.
To try to help others where i see possible. To really spend time with those I love.
Ultimately, its really each other we've got when the economy does fail.
Its them i'm protecting everytime I land an aircraft on that runway.

Also, the trial on Hitler went on reasonably well.
Though i lost, yes i know its embarassing. I think I proved the point.
I dunno, but i enjoyed it. I didn't like preparing but i liked just shooting someone down with words sometimes.
However, there were certain things which i said out and i really meant.
Things such as morality and leadership. They can't really be seperated can they?
Oh yes, lastly, i got Cert of Merit, don't ask me how cause i have NO IDEA!!
but either way....
PRAISE GOD!!!!!!!!

good bad and simply indulge

Listening to : Angel - Natasha Bedingfield

So maybe the whole system ain't that bad after all.
Yes i'm out of camp. AGAIN! This was rather unexpected. I mean, i thought yesterday was all i got. However, i'm surprised yet again.
So what did i just do? Relive the harsh times of JC days.
HAHA! Yes i did, i went to run. And its pouring like never before.
So yes, i was able to maintain. I'm surprised.
However, i'm one tired idiot now. Maybe i'll fall sick. Hmmm.
Should i fall sick? Ok, i make it sound like its my choice.
Anyway, its kinda sad, alvan is leaving for brunei. Hope he'll do alright over there. Also, We're leaving air force school really soon.
Just when i found out how to go home. (BTW, i took a bus)
Those wo know me well will pat me in the back and say good job.
HAHA! Can't wait for this weekend. I'm exhausted as hell. However, i just look forward to leaning my head on Shiming. AWWW.

viva

Listening to : Coldplay

I am a coldplay fan. Yes i am. First it was yellow. then fix you. now viva la vida.
It isn't normal for me to be stuck on a song for so long.
Normally its just like 2 to 3 weeks before i get over it.
However, every every EVERY coldplay song, i'll take it for 3 months minimum.
For one, between muse and coldplay. Its coldplay man.
This is random i know. But i spent like an hour plus watching coldplay performances online. So yes i am a fanatic.
Who goes up there and sings a song in such perfect form.
Who swings a bright ball when its reaching the climax and EVERYONE goes mad. I really think they are really great performers.
Next time they come, i'm going to their concert. For SURE!
I know many people will follow me for such a concert.
it isn't simply emo, its awesome.
I mean, who sings "when you try your best and don't succeed" in such awesome tune. Oh gosh. OK! Enough rattling on Coldplay

So its not the integrated term. I'm supposed to be in soon.
So its rather sian. However, its all coming to an end.
It really is, I'm both excited and scared for it.
I know we'll suffer big time in joint term. But who cares. I'm up for it.
Camp life is getting by alright.
All that i want to do now, is to really get my gold bar.
AHHH!!! Coldplay craze. Indulge me in this one post.

gets better

Listening to : Dark Blue - Jacks Mannequin

I do wonder at times. how good can this get?
Life now is too good to be true. Last week was honestly great and I loved it.
Now this week is feeling BETTER! Haha! Yesterday stay out and today off at 2??
This feels like the life. Honestly. However, i'm afriad of joint term.
Yes its the time when i will DIE. Badly. VERY BADLY!
Other than that, I think i'll be quite satisfied with where i am now.
Also, there has been hints i'm going to PLAB. WOOOO!!!!
OH OH OH YEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!
I have always told everyone, i can endure ANYTHING you throw at me.
I JUST WANNA GO HOME AT THE END OF THE DAY!
So for PLAB, thats the case!
So i'm honestly looking forward to commissioning.
However, in two weeks....
" We come from OCS, we are the very best, living with dignity and pride..."
I hope i survive. haha! Loving it every one bit!

colour

Listening to : With or without you - U2

Well, due to the many comments about well, the colour of the text, i've decided to change it.
Well, its the start of arise and build. I'm at home, resting up and recovering from flu.
However, couldn't really help but to go down to the morning prayer meeting.
Wow, i was blown away by it, i really think that if i were to go everyday, i'll be so much happier.
Too bad i'm in NS and all. Oh well, next time i hope they start this again.
Today was rather UNEVVENTFUL. However, i'm quite happy leading a rather simple life kinda thing. I dunno why myself.
Like with just shiming studying at my house and me watching vcds and sleeping. I guess with shiming watching me blog, its funny.
SO YES! I will stop now. BACK TO CAMP TOMORROW!!!
Joint term in 3 weeks. WOOOO!!

Hair~~~~

Listening to : Summer hair forever young - The Academy is...

Well, the possible thought of responsibility on me again seems strange.
I dunno. I guess its been THAT long since i've been engaged in anything REAL.
Before, i took things rather lightly.
I guess its the army. Now that i'm a 'trained controller'
The thought of being put in position of a 'leader' is kinda scary.
Not that I doubt myself but its really alot of responsibility.
If u crash a plane, its your fault. So if someone leaves, its your fault. If something goes wrong in hall, its your fault.
I never thought of it this way before i left. Maybe thats why i was THAT carefree
Now its a totally different ball game. If i'm ever going to do this properly,
I think i'll do it REALLY well. No mess ups and no accepting what i cannot do.
I think its just that i don't want them to end up wrong.
Sometimes i also wonder why so much responsibility is placed on me, i mean, i know i've messed up more than enough times.
Its quite nice to know that someone still thinks u still got it in you.

Anyway, its time for me to sleep. I'm so so tired.
i think its cause of the flu. Gonna see a doc tomorrow for 3 sickness.
sounds bad eh. Yes it is. Oh god i wanna die, theres still hitlers idiotic case.
Why can't he just die!!!!
Wait he already did. A sad one too...

Stay out

Listening to : I believe in a thing called love - The Darkness

If you thought that possibly, just possibly, you'll get bored of staying out. Like don't need to stay in camp overnight. THINK TWICE!
This whole week i only stayed in for one night. Honestly, this week is the BEST week of my whole NS life. It really is. It really just refreshed everything.
I was able to stay out everyday, so everynight was really full of something.
Tuesday met up with sean and mark for prata. But was stay in camp.
Then Wednesday had EOC dinner and stay out, so went to play a little bit after dinner. Heh, was really a hell of a time.
Then thursday night went to meet sm and cause stay out, went to timbre with Mark and GOODFELLAS were playing! Awesome!
Though i think i'm really running low on fuel in terms of sleeping. I've never had so much fun in quite a long time. Then today was the halloween party.
WOW! I'm blown away by it. If this could happen everyweek, i'll sign on.

Anyway, some sad news, VAMSEE IS GONE! He's our indian transfer student for our aerodrome course. Honestly, i never really got to know him till the end.
He was a really genuine and nice man. I'm so honoured to have met him.
He said something towards the end of the dinner which really really touched my heart. he said that " I think its an art for you Singaporeans but You all were able to make me forget my home". I was honestly touched by that.
Wasn't expecting that at all. However, i'm sure we may not miss him now, but soon we will. We taught him so much i think he's one of us now.
Not only that, the officers on course are gone. They're like one of the best people around. They made the whole Aerodrome course bearable. They made the whole NS idea fun with so many activities.
They're really nice people and i will do all i can never to lose contact.

Other than that, time for me to sleep.
Tired, going to RS tomorrow i think. HAHA!

SAI KANG!

Listening to : Other side of the world - KT Tunstall

So begins the life of a slack officer.
or rather, glimpses of it! Now that the course is over, life is good.
Seriously, nights out every night and doing almost nothing in camo everyday.
What more can you ask, seriously.
Well. I'm honestly not complaining. I'm quite enjoying it. Though there's always SAI KANG TO DO! Which is a total waste of time.
Some things are worth doing, others are a mere waste of time.
Good example would be things like Vamsee's farewell would be great.
However, doing research on Hitler isn't the most fun thing to do.
I would rather just kick back and relax and sail my way through the next 3 weeks. I am just waiting for posting! COME ON PLAB!
However, one good thing that came out of researching Hitler is that he's really an evil man. I mean, i know how evil can evil get. However, he's for real.
Which is honestly rather disturbing. How can someone so warped exist!?

Besides the point, Halloween is coming. I honestly don't make much of it.
However, this year theres a party! My Cell group is organising some big thing.
So everyone is gonna dress up and all. It sounds good eh.
It'll be fun, any takers? WOOO!
Also, if u haven't watched tropic thunder. Please watch it.
Hmmm, many MANY people have said i'm rather shallow for saying its nice.
WHO CARES! I think its a great movie, its really a great laugh! haha.
Anyway, time for EOC dinner! Time to emcee!

Ties

Listening to : Worthy - CCC

Today was a rather interesting day.
Woke up really really early to meet mark for breakfast.
I'm amazed we were both able to wake up this early actually. Yeah, so ate macs.
However, the interesting things was at night.
We had a meeting with the cousins, well, a rather well planned one.
Cause one of them is getting married, so yeah, one outing before the day itself.
This is what was sent in the mail.
***Special note to Wayne and Lionel - you guys better come fellowship ... more and more of your cousins are being harvested. Lionel, bring your gf if she's free.
I was rather shocked by it. So in the end, we went. How not to after we PANG so often and when its explicitly said to everyone.
In the end, i really had quite alot of fun with them.
Its really rare that i talk to my cousins, the ties are actually forming.
I guess its cause of them coming to church and all. In fact one of them told me, I never had a proper conversation with you before.
Yes, thats how distant i am from them. However, now its really different.
I'm happy when i'm with them, before it was very tensioned.
Now we talk about church and it just flows easily.
Also, its nice to know that your family has got ur backing at some times.
I'm understanding the importance of family ties now.
I'm a really blessed boy. Yes i am, other than the occassional troubles i have.
I'm really blessed to have great people around me. Cause even when times start to suck, i know i'll be able to pull thru with my family and friends help. Yup. :)

Threshold

Listening to : Break Me Down - CCC

I see the world in a rather different way now.
I guess circumstances really influence the way we look at things.
For me, i've just completed my last ever assessment for Aerodrome training.
SO basically, i can control. the sermon on how our words affect our lives was so good.
I remember speaking out on the tower, "I AM AN ATC CONTROLLER".
I felt really confident for some reason. In fact, they commented, my speech was the most confident of all and i enjoyed controlling.
Yeah, I'm really thankful for being able to make it out of the course.
I really thank god for that. It has really been hell hell crazy.
Like really insane tough, enduring real personal attacks and ALOT of rubbish.
I have to admit, there were times i really didn't believe in myself.
Like how shiming says it, I've changed my perspective of many things.
I used to be complaining all the time. But somehow, when i tried to start enjoying it and when i started to think positive it all kinda worked out.
I just wonder how it'll be when I COMMISSION!!! WOOO!!
now i'm researching on Hitler for some CAF interaction, good stuff.
I'm actually learning alot from it. Yeah I am. Surprised I actually am bothered about something related to NS eh.
Think the whole Aerodrome course made me think and move beyond my comfort zone. I pushed the threshold for taking stress for sure.
To talk and hear and look at the same time really stretches you. A new depth of focus and concentration is reached. I hope this benefits me in future.
So yes, ushering seems alot easier, multi-tasking is a piece of cake and study stresses can be overcome!

On another note, I remember in A levels, how stressed I was.
However, EVERYONE around me is like really dying in terms of stress.
Yes they are, I dunno why myself. Some people whom i thought could cope with such stress just couldn't. They're really affected by it.
I said how thresholds can be pushed. And yes, you push it by pushing yourself.
However, there is a limit to how much u can push it. Just like running, theres a fine line to pushing to go faster and well dying.
I admit it takes alot of conditioning, i'm happy i went thorugh A levels cause if i didn't, i think i would have died in Aerodrome training and well wouldn't have succeeded.
Guess for alot of them now, they ain't enjoying what they're doing.
I guess how i did well in A's was cause of my class.
I have toreally thank them. I clearly remember how we would just have fun studying.
Studying is never fun, don't get me wrong. But its how you study.
Every 5 min, there'll be a good refreshing joke. So after every math qn, something just refreshes you. Thats why i never really was affected by the stress.
The company of shiming and alvan in macs also made it real fun.
The occasional night supper with mark spiced things up.
I really am thankful for those times, thats why my A level period wasn't the toughest but maybe one of the best. Yup.
So those mugging really hard for A's or any exam, DON'T GIVE UP!
Don't be so stress, remember they're people arnd you and remember to like what you're doing!

Step up

Listening to : Miss Independent - Neyo

The only thing running through my whole mind for the whole week is honestly the LAST WEEK of training.
Its been SUCH a long time, its finally here. this week determines whether i make it or break it.
I know i can. Actually I've really been quite impacted by sermon yesterday.
No wonder it was a triple pack.
The whole idea of speaking it out and confessing it again and again.
I know i can control. I know i can deconflict two aircrafts coming in for landing.
I know I can do well for my assessment. I know, can and WILL COMMISSION!
I believe so and I guess God will make a way when there really is no way!
Its been a long time but i stayed home to nua today. Not really nua but to 'study' with shiming.
Actually, i've really come to treasure all my friends. My class is really the best you could ask for.
I don't care if they're too clingy or anything. but i honestly wouldn't give them up for any other uni friends.
Now we're all in army, its quite a strange feeling I guess.
On another note. Tropic thunder was by far one of the funniest movies i've ever watched. Like really, if you're a guy, GO WATCH IT!!!

More time required

Listening to : Sunday Morning - Maroon 5

Yes, it is sunday morning! And sadly, the rain ain't falling.
Well, i'm actually quite happy i took leave on friday.
Yes i am. Well, cause of the various things we did.
I think this sudden break was actually a good opportunity to catch up with some ppl.
Also, good time for me to spend it with my dearest.
Friday I crashed NUS. Haha, it was like a familiar feeling.
Cause if you read the posts like two or three years ago, i would be saying abt the same thing.
How i crashed NUS. This time for my gf.
Actually, I tried to study in the library which i thought was ok.
Until I went to lecture. OH GOD! I never knew it could be this boring. ANYWAY!
In the end, the whole day was quite fun.
Cause managed to meet kian fat for lunch. Well, no amelia but guess its ok.
Thereafter we went to eat manhattans fsh mkt. Honestly, it rocks.
Maybe, just maybe it owns fish and co. I dunno, but! I would choose ambience over taste.
Then met the feline at timbre.
MAYBE its just me but i've become a relatively big fan of timbre.
Drinks are ex, but food and music is awesome.
I love it man.
Also, been so long since 4 of us went out.
Then saturday was spent mostly with the guys.
Yeah, a fulfilling week for me actually. Sadly, 2moro is book in early week.
I dunno why myself. I think its dumb.
Anyway, i'm still looking forward to the end.
Its really in sight, just 1 1/2 weeks to go.
The past 7 months was challenging, but i think when i comission, tears may really flow.
So emo right? Anyway. gtg sleep.

2 and running

Listening to : Starlight - Muse

This does bring back memories.
Yes it does, yesterday, me and sm just celebrated our 2 year anni.
Honestly, i think i surprised her quite well, never have i done such wide scale planning before.
However, i'm just happy we both enjoyed ourselves.
Time does fly, its been a good 2 years. It really has.
In fact. I'm really happy we've been together for so long.
I guess its just us but we're a little different.
Normallys its the longer you're together the less sticky you get.
However, the longer we get, the more sticky we get. I dunno why.
I know alot of ppl are annoyed cause of that. WOOOO!

Anyway, today I specially took leave for this, so i'm gonna head to NUS to study today.
EXAM on MONDAY! Fail then OOC.
So ya, this period is really high tension for everyone i guess.
Its even graduation day for the J2s.
I guess i'm overaged for this but i'm rather sticky to the trackers.
three weeks to their exam and three weeks to my end of course.
SO FAST!! Its like 8-9 more weeks to the gold bar.
My NS time is flying by. Honestly, now that i look back.
Things aren't as bad now, think this is cause of some ppl in the course.
Some great ppl, some really REALLY strange.
Ok ok, gonna head to NUS now. YAY

future awaits

Listening to : What Sarah Said : Death Cab For Cutie

Ever wonder what you'll REALLY do in the future?
I mean, like what we'll be...
Some of us will be doctors, pilots, teachers, engineers, businessman.
I'm confused and at the same time worried for it.
I'm now 19 years old, i don't really know what i wanna do.
I honestly blame it on the A levels.
Daniel stayed over at my house yesterday.
What a nostalgic thing to do eh. 19 year old army men sleeping in the same room.
As corny as it sounds, i think its alright.
We were talking about how we're all getting old. Like really OLD.
Maybe its time to stop it. Can u imagine your dad inviting a friend to sleepover...
Ya, same concept. Thats why, I don't really wanna grow up.
Thats besides the point, we were talking about how life will be when we're in uni, when we're working.
It'll be good and bad that we all won't be as tight anymore.
Of course, we talked about the future.
I was SUPPOSED to be the teacher I always wanted to be. Or rather was called to be.
To teach the young kids of our generation, impact life kinda thing.
Pursue the real passion of physics and teaching and sports.
being a teacher and a coach for track or basketball at the same time.
Guess that won't REALLY materialize.
The whole world except the few who really know me tell me,
Take LAW, BIZZ, MEDICINE! Go OVERSEAS to study at oxford!
Impact the MARKETPLACE by being really successfull!
I know all of that is good. I do know. But that isn't what i wanna do.
Until daniel said something quite simple but quite true.
Just keep doing what you're doing, God will speak to you soon.
Yup, just keep doing what i'm doing, to the best I can.
Heh, even though its controlling, I am trying my best. Or rather I will.
On a side note, I WILL be a teacher at least once in my life.
FYI, the current dream is to go out to work first, go get rich by helping a large engineering / Manufacturing Company by managing some big project like the next flyer. Then go hopefully find some real clean energy and make ironman with it. Lastly, when i'm really rich enough, build a school in cooperation with CHC.
Ain't that a dream....

Iron man

listening to : Hotel California - Eagles

A few weeks ago was actually the Beijing olympics.
Then I saw what i considered the near perfection of human speed.
Yup, so that was the SUPERMAN of speed.
However, today, on tv I saw amazing speed. Not only that, the sound of it was really screeching.
However, Unlike many others, including my father, I actually like that sound.
I dunno why myself but its really a sound of speed to me.
The past 3 days was something like an IRONMAN of speed.
F1 FTW.

On a seperate note, Things area getting along just fine.
I've never been happier in such a long time.
Yes i am. I dunno why myself. Gues of the initiated change and this weekend.
The fact that it is NOW and like EVERYTHING is pointing to that.
Yes I think it'll be right NOW.

It was also the 1st time shiming drove me in her dads car.
Honestly, I love to be driven around. Thus it was a real treat to be driven around by my girl.
Yes there were others around and we did get lost THREE times.
However, I think it was a great experience for me.
Going around the whole singapore from the zoo to cathay to serangoon.
Things were great. Heh, I realise we don't exactly need to be ALONE all the time.
Things have changed i guess.

What now?

Listening to : So What -Pink

Yesterday was quite a moment to remember.
For me at least. We had the 1st edge meeting.
Yes, it was awesome. I haven't said that in a long time.
But yes, it was awesome, but the best would be the question.
What about now?
The past was great! Like really really awesome fun.
But what about now?
It just got me thinking a little.
I wanna live for the moment. Live for the present and future.
Not for the past. I'm gonna make most of it all.
Thats why everything seems to have changed a little.
Like,i realised. WHAT HAVE I BEEN DOING!
Other than that, I'm quite happy still.
Meeting up with the class was rather chill. Fun.
I'm gonna try to meet them like once a week?
Haha, guess its not just me who is thinkin the sam thing about social circles.
They're great ppl.
For me, I guess i haven't really realised it till now. But my cg is awesome.
Yeah, i dunno, they're fun ppl, they're encouraging.
Thats why i wanna stay with them. Yes i do.

Running to win

Listening to : Crushcrushcrush - Paramore

Its been quite a weekend. I have to admit, it has been quite eventful.
Both fun and at the same time really tiring.
I guess the highlight everytime i'm out is really to unwind and have fun.
I always hate the feeling of booking in and also to just await scoldings.
Well, for now, I'm quite determined to do my best to get things right.
Heh. Honestly, I'm quite burnt out.
9 more painful weeks. AHHH!
At least it is now single digit.
I can do it!!!!

Surprise Surprise

Listening to : The Kill - 30 Seconds to Mars

I Honestly think the reason why i'm home is quite stupid.
Yes i do.
'Nights out to go get your berms!'
Wow! I didn't know it could be this good.
WELL! The good thing about this is that i can GO HOME!
Yes i can.
I do have to admit. God is Good.
When time is taken away, it gets replaced.
This just happens all the time.
As for now, i'm just gonna chill.
Now it really feels like school, i'm gonna be out 2moro in less than 24 hours.
And tomorrow, its HELLO AMAZING RACE!!!!
Wooo!!! I'm gonna sit Hydros car. How nice is that eh....

Little but much

Listening to : Big girls don't cry (remix) - fergie

So its wednesday again! Good day.
Or rather, its relatively ok. Other than the fact that i'm literally getting screwwed for my controlling. Everything else seems rather ok.
Honestly, camp didn't seem too bleak till recently when i started screwing up.
Anyway, I met up with who else but shiming today.
Well, we haven't been spending much time together. We really havent!
But i'm happy. I dunno why, guess its reached a point where seeing just makes it all worth while.
Where little is acutally much.
Maybe its the perception i have nowadays.
Well, as for change. I think i'm going along just fine.
The book "running to win", is really really good. For me at least. It gives me inspiration and it kinda puts things in real perspective for me.
I'm going to try hard to keep this change going.
I'll be out on FRIDAY!
No more running wild for me man. I'm gonna be clean and good from now on!

Refresher course!

Listening to : Breakeven - The script

I guess this weekend has been quite eventful.
Self-realisation sets in. Well, i honestly felt quite bad for many things.
However, i guess today really ended it quite well.
I met up with the trackers and all.
I dunno why, everytime i meet them i feel very at ease and i never fail to enjoy myself.
Same for my class also. I just let go and let loose.
Of course its the same for shiming.
Well, I guess the happiest part of my life is on the track.
Thats why i treasure them so much and I guess I feel good cause theres always a sense of purpose with them around.
Now i'm ready for change. I really really am.
I know it'll be tough. It will be. But i know i can do so.

gd bad

Listening to : Simple, Starving to be safe - Saphne loves derby

Damn sian.
I had a good dream turned bad.
I dreamt I could book in monday morning.
I woke up and realised. DAMN!
Argh. The day ain't starting too well!

Victorious

Listening to : Yesterday - Leona Lewis

Well, I guess its time for us to actually evaluate how has the year been going.
In the more mental/spiritual/emotional side rather than physical side
I guess segmenting it into quarter sections won't be the best idea.
So lets do it by stages.
BMT was good i guess, I was quite Positive most of the time. Despite the initial culture shock for me into ns, it was an ok transition. I clung on to Shiming for most of my support. Not only that but also to God. however, i didn't really bother to meet many friends too often. I dunno why too.

Next was HELLO OCS. Now this was REALLY hell. Like i've never experienced such tough training in a LONG time. Like it really Pushed my mental and physical limits. However, at this point, i was the MOST optimistic and strongest. I duno why too. My girlfriend was there to always support me too.

Thereafter was AIR WING! It was actually a good time for me. Like up till now. Its AFST FTW! I really enjoyed my time there. I had the best buddy there as well. It was also when i started to make time for my outside friends and shiming was really great too! Heh, not only that, I was serving in usher and also quite happy about life on a whole!

Then there was a DIP when i entered the C3. Honestly, life was less demanding like it wasn't so taxing on you physically but it really pushed me. Like this was the part of my life when i was really the lowest. I somehow just lost all the positive attitude i had and also felt quite a drop in my spiritual life. Heh, I honestly felt quite lost. Not only that, there was pressure from the leaders, instructors, friends. I was up to my neck! Shiming was there all the time, thank god for that. Even that, there were times when i felt i wasn't the nicest boyfriend. Also, i think i tried too hard to accomodate ALL my friends, guess I should've done things in a more relaxed way.

For now, some things are still persisting, some things are getting better. However, it really is a disappointment for me. oh man. Like i remember how it was in school previously! I was on top of the day, i always ended the day victorious and started it with an attitude to conquer! However, Now its like I'm trying to survive. Notice the change in use of words. I'm barely excelling in anything i do now. I'm not the 'conqueror' I once was. Thus the name of this blog. I hope i've found the root of the problem. I think i did today in service. I know i'm supposed to wake up feeling good and end it feeling i've been voctorious! Thats how it was all the time! I was on top of every situation! I want it to be that way again.

This post seems quite emo? Yeah, guess it does. Its not the NORMAL lionel post eh. Anyway! Life goes on! Happy to see all the trackers! :)

Hyped up

Listening to : Impossible - Bayje

It's been a while since i've actually started a week on a high note.
Well, that was the case for this week. I dunno why myself.
I think it was simply due to the face that i STAYED at home on sunday night.
Which really helped alot. I dunno why but guess there's some psychological thing.
But i'm glad this week, and its wednesday already! Quite fast to me honestly, ignoring the fact that i gotta do my exercise tomorrow

Met up with Sijia just now. Well, there's been some issues/complications between us before.
But i gotta admit, if there's one friend i'm really thankful for its gotta be her.
Yup, she's been there very often and i guess its been the same likewise.
In fact, she's my longest running best friend. Haha! All my other friends simply fade out of contact. Somehow, i dunno why but she just sticks around.
Guess she was there to pull me back when everyone practically gave up hope.
Yup, can remember how she'll keep calling and calling and how i'll NEVER pick up her calls, intentionally or unintentionally simply to avoid contact.
But i guess it was this persistence that moved me a little to come back.
Other than that, she's really a great buddy whom i'll want to have all the way.

ALSO! On the bright side, NG SHIMING PASSED HER DRIVING!
So happy for her! I remember how she'll whine to me about how annoying her instructor will be.
How tough it will be to drive and complicated things will be and how tough it'll be to juggle both SOT, uni and driving.
At least its all over and she's FREE!!!
Now i can be driven around, ewith my girl right beside me. :)
Can't wait, next problem. Where to get a car. Hmmmm.......
Well, till then! Its the normal transport of CAB!
Sadly so, well, alot of things to think about now. Money, Time, Future.
Now that there's SOME time to breathe, its time to settle all of them out.
Oh and funny thing is, when my girlfriend JUST ended, I JUST started.
Basic Theory on Friday. wow

Sickly

Listening to : How i could just kill a man - charlotte sometimes

I guess i'm really not watching myself.
I'm like coughing like an idiot now. The last time i coughed so much was my auzzie trip.
I was like a sick dog. Dragging myself in and out of bed.
My nose bled like once a day.
I'm quite happy i'm not in such a state yet though.
But the flu and cough is really making my stay awake and is really annoying.
the cough medicine makes u drowsy so u sleep.
I had the best sleep on Friday night after the medicine.
Well, the bad thing was that it was TOO STRONG! I woke up half dizzy and high.
For real, it made me higher than any alcohol i've ever taken.
It took me till like after lunch to wear it off.
I'm never taking that again. I can imagine myself controlling when i'm high.
Aircrafts will crash everywhere.
Well, good thing about all of this is that i get to go in 2moro morning instead of tonight.
However, the bad thing would definitely be that i gotta wake up same time and all still.
To me, the comfy bed makes all the difference. yes it does!
Gonna sleep real early to wear the 'high' off.
This week was super emo....
EMO to the max man. well i hope next weekend would be better!

soundtrack

Listening to : Thunder - Boys Like Girls

Confinement is finally over!
The pain of it was alot less excruciating than what i thought it would be.
Like the 9 hours passed by quite fast and it appeared as if time flew by.
Though the officers on course would be a little more uptight on certain things.
But apparently they couldn't be bothered about us chilling and resting.
Actually its 3 plus in the morning and i'm really wondering why i'm not sleeping my ass off.
Other than that, tomorrow will be spending my day with shiming.
Speaking of which, i've been listening to music alot.
To me, every season and every occasion has a new theme song or rather a soundtrack.
Haha, I remember when it was in the A level period, 'won't go home without you' was in.
During the BMT it was 'pictures of you' which got the mood in for me.
During the prom time it was 'Saddest song'. For now, it's 'thunder'.
The songs may not ENTIRELY match the situation but it really makes me remember the days and times spent in that situation. Like how sad i'll be in tekong, how tough it was in A levels.
As for my girlfriend. There're too many songs to name.
Actually most songs all relate to her. Haha! Guess its just me but yeah.
I remember her most of the time in camp....
Sorry for those buddies of mine but i think of her like 80% of the time!
Anyway, enough of that. time to SLEEP!

Sweet escape

Listening to : The man who can't be moved - The Script

Its been an interesting week, but an agonizing weekend.
Why?
Cause of confinement, I mean, i ain't THAT sore about it but...
Its just you know. As annoying as it can be.
Got quite alot to talk about this time. Yes i do.
To me, the biggest thing would definitely be wednesday.
My parents wedding anniversary.

To me, Such events should be celebrated internally.
Ie. Within the couple.
However, i guess they think otherwise.
So my dad being the non-romantic guy.
Indeed surprised us all.
"We are throwing a surpirse for your mummy at the best steakhouse in town, do dress appropriately and don't tell her."
Yup, that was what my dad said, I was honestly really really shocked. To hear those words emerge from his mouth was like vegetables to me. And I don't eat vegetables...
So yeah, we indeed went to the best steakhouse in town.
I mean the BEST like MORTONS. I thought it'll be costly. But not THAT costly.
Well, cut long story short. I'm honestly quite happy to see them both this way. It didn't turn out exactly like how it should be, but my mum was really surprised nonethless.
In the end, seeing them hug at such an old age kinda gets both goosebumps on my hands and also a warmth in my heart.
I mean, how cool would it be if we get married in future and remain so loving?

Guess in Singapore we ain't the best loving creatures around.
Dad works, Mum 90% of the time works, kid is left to the maid/childcare.
So yeah, thats the rough idea of the family structure.
At least that is the idea for me. I didn't bother looking into wikipedia to find the stats but i'm guessing those are the structures of most families in Singapore.
ALSO! It's common to say "don't eat where you shit". Ie. Don't get your partner where you work. Therefore! The couple wouldn't be in such close contact anymore.
Looking at me and shiming, i guess we're an anomaly but we really can't stop meeting each other. I know i'm what 9 months into NS but i still literally DEMAND to see her every weekend.
I guess and I hope that is the same way for her. Or at least thats what she says. So i believe her.
We're NOT in the same organisation as we were in JC, so I guess it really does take effort.
So this is to all married/going to get married/planning marriage/wannabes.
Its all about keeping the LOVE!

Ok, you have got to be thinking, Lionel is partially gay.
NO I'M NOT! I just thought i should talk about this after my parents anniversary.
I salute my Dad for such an act.
Well, enough mushy stuff. Time to sleep. Sian.