biting dust and SPITTING IT OUT!

Listening to : TGIF - Katy Perry

ANOTHER ONE BITES THE DUST.

I'm taking it rather better than I expected.

Guess I really have to learn to pick myself up after a defeat.
Especially when it's one straight to the heart.

It does suck in a certain way.

However, I gotta remember a simple fact....

I've been a victor SO MANY TIMES. One hit won't make a difference.

What matters now is that I continue working hard.

Learning from the mistakes......

Most importantly, getting myself back into full steam.

It's like the pump up right before the WOD.

And when it actually starts, you don't feel as 100%.

You don't stop, you plough your way through!!

So....

THIS IS HOW IT'S GOING TO ROLL.

So if this is how things are going to be....

Then I'm so going into overdrive real soon.

Things can be alot easier if I just take a back seat....

BUT MAN I AIN'T BACKING DOWN JUST YET.

It's been so long since I felt this way...

Feels like I'm a small school kid again brooding over the smallest of mistakes.

Oh brings me back to the days.....

Gotta strike a balance. Can't be too bothered if I don't make it.

But at the same time, not the person to give in to mediocrity.

So I'm going to work hard.... and smart.

I just hope I don't burn out.....

Anyway, I like one of the phrases quoted by a friend.....

"I'm just like David and Goliath! The giant is straight ahead and I'm ready to slay him! Just that I don't have stones just yet... just sand. BUT DON'T WORRY! This David is molding it together!! Just you wait!!!"

May appear tired just like this but.........

I'VE GOT MUCH MORE INSIDE!

biggerrrr!

Listening to : Modern Drummer - Ungdomskulen

So I'm beginning to lost it.

I'm pulling my hair, yanking my brain, torching myself, confused as ever!

Ok, I'm stressed. Yes, I'm rather VERY STRESSED!

I'm honest about it, I swear, NUS is taking the life out of me. If I had the option, I'll redo army....

Ok on second thoughts, maybe not.

Well, life hasn't been too kind honestly.

Still have yet to get some clear direction in NUS.

It's becoming more and more of a blur... honestly.

However, certain things are being more and more firm in my life.

Maybe I'm not made to be this stressed out.

I'm probably doing something wrong here. Perhaps even focusing on the wrong things.

Which may seem so prudent and obvious, I may just be looking at a totally wrong direction.

Am I to be an advocate of a workaholic?

I used to be so certain and sure that I am one and my successes have been because of it.

But well, the methods have to change it seems.

Everyone here is giving their 101% and don't seem to get tired.

It's time to play a different ball game.

I initially thought that enforcing a sabbath day for myself was sufficient.

Looks like that ain't enough.

It's easy to fall into a natural pathway, it's easy to give in to stress..

Unless we actually do something about it, I think we are all going to fall into depression....

REALLY!

Anything left by itself without any external forces acting on it will soon erode.

Time to get our mindsets constantly altered....

Which then makes sense....

When we begin to set our mind on what the spirit desires...

Now I know what it means when I received that fateful revelation.

That walking the path, following the perfect will...

Is far from easy.

Is far from an array of distractions which come in really massive ways.

Think it's time to put a VERY BIG signpost in my head.

"DON'T GIVE IN"

From the simplest of simple, to the toughest of tough.

I just need to always wake up, remembering those few words.

Gosh.... I've really forgotten some great habits....

What happened to the "I'm gonna make it!", "I'm so gonna get 5.0!".

Need more of that in my life....

Crossfit, bringing the cross to fitness....

Just something I thought of the past few days....

Hmph, I really have to do something about it.... I want to!

It represents so much more than a gym.

Well, it's about making the lives of others better....

Advocating the cultural mandate...

One day...

New dreams are arising.

"BIG IS NOT STRONG, STRONG IS STRONG!"

Time for CHANGE!

Listening to : If we ever meet again - Timbaland ft Katy Perry

I'm just really relieved that the week of 'break' is here. I'm gonna try to make full use of it!!!

Of which, I don't have much mapped out.

But I really do wanna catch up BIG time on my work and tutorials etc.

Extremely lagging in terms of academic statures.
Well, I don't have much planned out this week. but well, I've only have 2 nights taken away.

Ie. Tuesday and Thursday.

Other than that, I'm totally good to gooo!!!!

Trying my best to keep focused and not be so easily distracted.

But gosh, there're a thousand and one things which I so wanna do this week.

Well, I don't have MUCH choice do I? So I'm just gonna be the plain old man and stick to the program.

Study and more studying.

PS. IT IS TIME FOR CHANGE!!!!

mugger society

Listening to : ACDC Album

Well, it has come to this.

Blogging in the middle of NUS central library. Has this become my home?

I really do hope I begin to actually have a life after this sem.

Well, they all say that the first year and first sem is the toughest.

Hope that it's true. And everything else will just be a breeze....

Ok, fat hope!!!

Either way, I'm really glad that right now, I've got time on my hands.

I'm slightly lagging in terms of work. But it's ok I suppose.

I need some air time to breathe and take a short break.

Cause I'm literally struggling to survive here.

So pace is the most important! Just completed my first mid term test.

Taking a short break. But everyone all around me is mugging.

Alright Lionel, succumb to pear pressure....

TIME TO MUG!!!

REORDER

Listening to : Monster - Professor Green

Well, I can't begin to explain how things have been going. Gosh....

When I think about what I can blog or rather the various thoughts that I usually have.

Sadly, I realized I don't have much. Hmmm, guess you can say that things have been under control?

Things have been really going the way they should be.

Or rather, maybe things are just getting really really boring.

I wish I had a thousand and one things to say and thoughts to go through.

Yes I do, But guess it'll be too boring for a blog like this.

Man... Has life really reduced to such a state after coming to NUS?

There HAS to be a whole lot more than this. I hate it when I'm put under strict scrutinized observation.

It's like I have no choice to begin with. Or rather, I have no way out at all.

This wasn't the way things should be even after SOT.

I should be living with so much more purpose and vision.

Basically, something is VASTLY WRONG! Maybe it's my priorities.

Maybe it's really something else. Maybe it's like i'm supposed to do so much more...

So what is it??

Someone hit me with a brick, smack me in the head, SHOW IT TO ME!!

I know, I'm supposed to sit down and pray.

Yes, it's as easy as it sounds honestly.

But doing so isn't enough. It takes real steps which I need to take.

Balance is key.

Maybe this GEP thing isn't the best for me.

Maybe I'm supposed to just drop it all and do what I really love.

Do what I really believe in.

I look around and see so many photos in my room.

I'm always comforted by them.

Cause honestly, I know that when I don't know what to do, don't know where I'm headed to.

When I'm even headed in the wrong direction.

They're probably always there beside me.

Almost every single one of them have been by my side every step of the way.

Some have been lost, some have been close to my heart ever since.

But guess that's what makes it all worth while.

When I know that I can't take it anymore, they're right there.

So if I haven't said so yet.

THANK YOU!!!!

Cause Lionel wouldn't have made it this far if it wasn't for you and your magic in my life.

Yeah, so even though I really feel that I'm not living up to my expected capacity in NUS.

Though I'm not living out all the best of my visions.

I'm glad still, cause I'm surrounded by people whom will either remind me of it or bring me to it.

I worked so hard in JC, I almost lost all.

So this time NUS will be different. I'm going to work hard.

But remember where I've been.

Cause I'm looking to the future and not through the small rear mirror.

Pace and balance is the most important.

So in the coming months, it's going to be a few priority shifts in my life.

To have Rest days, to have date nights, to have supper opportunities and of course, crossfit and mugging. I'm going to try to make time for all these.

Still.. SLEEP IS SECONDARY TO ALL.

Help me change.....PLEASE CORRECT ME!

I need to reorder much of my plans and time.

long long way from here.

Listening to : Beautiful Exchange - Hillsong

I deem myself a break, after working real hard the whole day.

I need a breather. Guess that's what the night is for.

Not going to push myself beyond a certain limit, not just yet.

However, I do want to continue the topic which I so abruptly ended.

Perhaps, now that SOT has ended, what is left in my heart? What is left in my soul?

I know that my spirit has been tremendously blessed. but in terms of my head knowledge, my heart sensations, I really wish to know where I stand right now.

Sadly, immediately after SOT, I had no time to do this reflection in a proper manner.

It's all about the mad rush in NUS now. It's all about the paper chase once again.

However, is this it? Is it all over? And that SOT is over and done with?

The amazing things and breakthroughs which we all witnessed and achieved all take a back seat?

I do hope that it isn't the case, I just wish that I could take a week or so to really reflect.

However, certain things I know are certain about. The few moments which will never depart from my heart or my spirit. The moments of victory, the moments of toil and eventual triumph.

I admit, there have been real times in SOT whereby I really wanted to give up.

However, call it the pressure of the title? Or perhaps the need to pull everyone up.

I just couldn't bring myself to break. I just couldn't.

We have all come a long long way. I have made it thus far.

Not by my strength but by the strength of GOD.

I can only give thanks for the past 6 months.

It has been a real big roller coaster ride. But the memories will never fade.

The friendships will not be broken, not if I can help it.

Perhaps one of the few things which I can really testify, is what a few people can do.

What amazing things can be done if they just set their mind to it.

If they just dedicate their lives to a cause or a purpose. They can achieve great and mighty things!

Well, heading back to this race isn't easy.

Though I may not have had time to reflect how SOT has changed my life.

I'm going to start this next phase right, being the salt and light.

but most importantly, knowing what this is all about.

Why this is all for. For whom am I doing it for.

The people whom I have around me to push me on.

The victories I know that I have which can always give me courage.

If you ask me, what is going to be different.

It's all of these. It's about being in a new dimension altogether.

Everything that comes through that thick skull just can't seem to be seperated from God.

How all of these make all one big sense.

Thank you for SOT.

Thank you for everything that has happened this past year.

For now, thank you for the upcoming battles to be waged, the victories to be stood upon.

Cause whatever happens, I am more than a conqueror.

come on take the rest of me

Listening to : Little Wonders - Rob Thomas

So it has ended, the wonderful exciting journey has finally ended.

I know, life goes on, we should get back to excelling and doing our best.

In fact, I really should be studying right about now.

However, I feel that I should just spend a couple of moments reflecting.

SOT has been great, has been life changing for that matter.

I have been given many opportunities to do many different things.

Many were new experiences altogether, some are similar experiences but at an even higher level.

I am quite sure that SOT has allowed me to do much more than I imagined.

After these 6 months, what can I say? In a few lines, what and how has SOT changed me?

Simply put it, my heart has found it's direction, I have known the dripping oil again.

I have enjoyed the pleasure of fellowship, the meaning of family.

I have seen the pains of the World which cries out for help.

I have experienced and served in ways which supersede my own imagination.

I have most of all, come to know God again.

I would definitely miss SOT.

I would want to speak more about it, and I will.

Now is just the period of catching up. Please keep me in prayer k?

Love you deep deep!