Iron man

listening to : Hotel California - Eagles

A few weeks ago was actually the Beijing olympics.
Then I saw what i considered the near perfection of human speed.
Yup, so that was the SUPERMAN of speed.
However, today, on tv I saw amazing speed. Not only that, the sound of it was really screeching.
However, Unlike many others, including my father, I actually like that sound.
I dunno why myself but its really a sound of speed to me.
The past 3 days was something like an IRONMAN of speed.
F1 FTW.

On a seperate note, Things area getting along just fine.
I've never been happier in such a long time.
Yes i am. I dunno why myself. Gues of the initiated change and this weekend.
The fact that it is NOW and like EVERYTHING is pointing to that.
Yes I think it'll be right NOW.

It was also the 1st time shiming drove me in her dads car.
Honestly, I love to be driven around. Thus it was a real treat to be driven around by my girl.
Yes there were others around and we did get lost THREE times.
However, I think it was a great experience for me.
Going around the whole singapore from the zoo to cathay to serangoon.
Things were great. Heh, I realise we don't exactly need to be ALONE all the time.
Things have changed i guess.

What now?

Listening to : So What -Pink

Yesterday was quite a moment to remember.
For me at least. We had the 1st edge meeting.
Yes, it was awesome. I haven't said that in a long time.
But yes, it was awesome, but the best would be the question.
What about now?
The past was great! Like really really awesome fun.
But what about now?
It just got me thinking a little.
I wanna live for the moment. Live for the present and future.
Not for the past. I'm gonna make most of it all.
Thats why everything seems to have changed a little.
Like,i realised. WHAT HAVE I BEEN DOING!
Other than that, I'm quite happy still.
Meeting up with the class was rather chill. Fun.
I'm gonna try to meet them like once a week?
Haha, guess its not just me who is thinkin the sam thing about social circles.
They're great ppl.
For me, I guess i haven't really realised it till now. But my cg is awesome.
Yeah, i dunno, they're fun ppl, they're encouraging.
Thats why i wanna stay with them. Yes i do.

Running to win

Listening to : Crushcrushcrush - Paramore

Its been quite a weekend. I have to admit, it has been quite eventful.
Both fun and at the same time really tiring.
I guess the highlight everytime i'm out is really to unwind and have fun.
I always hate the feeling of booking in and also to just await scoldings.
Well, for now, I'm quite determined to do my best to get things right.
Heh. Honestly, I'm quite burnt out.
9 more painful weeks. AHHH!
At least it is now single digit.
I can do it!!!!

Surprise Surprise

Listening to : The Kill - 30 Seconds to Mars

I Honestly think the reason why i'm home is quite stupid.
Yes i do.
'Nights out to go get your berms!'
Wow! I didn't know it could be this good.
WELL! The good thing about this is that i can GO HOME!
Yes i can.
I do have to admit. God is Good.
When time is taken away, it gets replaced.
This just happens all the time.
As for now, i'm just gonna chill.
Now it really feels like school, i'm gonna be out 2moro in less than 24 hours.
And tomorrow, its HELLO AMAZING RACE!!!!
Wooo!!! I'm gonna sit Hydros car. How nice is that eh....

Little but much

Listening to : Big girls don't cry (remix) - fergie

So its wednesday again! Good day.
Or rather, its relatively ok. Other than the fact that i'm literally getting screwwed for my controlling. Everything else seems rather ok.
Honestly, camp didn't seem too bleak till recently when i started screwing up.
Anyway, I met up with who else but shiming today.
Well, we haven't been spending much time together. We really havent!
But i'm happy. I dunno why, guess its reached a point where seeing just makes it all worth while.
Where little is acutally much.
Maybe its the perception i have nowadays.
Well, as for change. I think i'm going along just fine.
The book "running to win", is really really good. For me at least. It gives me inspiration and it kinda puts things in real perspective for me.
I'm going to try hard to keep this change going.
I'll be out on FRIDAY!
No more running wild for me man. I'm gonna be clean and good from now on!

Refresher course!

Listening to : Breakeven - The script

I guess this weekend has been quite eventful.
Self-realisation sets in. Well, i honestly felt quite bad for many things.
However, i guess today really ended it quite well.
I met up with the trackers and all.
I dunno why, everytime i meet them i feel very at ease and i never fail to enjoy myself.
Same for my class also. I just let go and let loose.
Of course its the same for shiming.
Well, I guess the happiest part of my life is on the track.
Thats why i treasure them so much and I guess I feel good cause theres always a sense of purpose with them around.
Now i'm ready for change. I really really am.
I know it'll be tough. It will be. But i know i can do so.

gd bad

Listening to : Simple, Starving to be safe - Saphne loves derby

Damn sian.
I had a good dream turned bad.
I dreamt I could book in monday morning.
I woke up and realised. DAMN!
Argh. The day ain't starting too well!

Victorious

Listening to : Yesterday - Leona Lewis

Well, I guess its time for us to actually evaluate how has the year been going.
In the more mental/spiritual/emotional side rather than physical side
I guess segmenting it into quarter sections won't be the best idea.
So lets do it by stages.
BMT was good i guess, I was quite Positive most of the time. Despite the initial culture shock for me into ns, it was an ok transition. I clung on to Shiming for most of my support. Not only that but also to God. however, i didn't really bother to meet many friends too often. I dunno why too.

Next was HELLO OCS. Now this was REALLY hell. Like i've never experienced such tough training in a LONG time. Like it really Pushed my mental and physical limits. However, at this point, i was the MOST optimistic and strongest. I duno why too. My girlfriend was there to always support me too.

Thereafter was AIR WING! It was actually a good time for me. Like up till now. Its AFST FTW! I really enjoyed my time there. I had the best buddy there as well. It was also when i started to make time for my outside friends and shiming was really great too! Heh, not only that, I was serving in usher and also quite happy about life on a whole!

Then there was a DIP when i entered the C3. Honestly, life was less demanding like it wasn't so taxing on you physically but it really pushed me. Like this was the part of my life when i was really the lowest. I somehow just lost all the positive attitude i had and also felt quite a drop in my spiritual life. Heh, I honestly felt quite lost. Not only that, there was pressure from the leaders, instructors, friends. I was up to my neck! Shiming was there all the time, thank god for that. Even that, there were times when i felt i wasn't the nicest boyfriend. Also, i think i tried too hard to accomodate ALL my friends, guess I should've done things in a more relaxed way.

For now, some things are still persisting, some things are getting better. However, it really is a disappointment for me. oh man. Like i remember how it was in school previously! I was on top of the day, i always ended the day victorious and started it with an attitude to conquer! However, Now its like I'm trying to survive. Notice the change in use of words. I'm barely excelling in anything i do now. I'm not the 'conqueror' I once was. Thus the name of this blog. I hope i've found the root of the problem. I think i did today in service. I know i'm supposed to wake up feeling good and end it feeling i've been voctorious! Thats how it was all the time! I was on top of every situation! I want it to be that way again.

This post seems quite emo? Yeah, guess it does. Its not the NORMAL lionel post eh. Anyway! Life goes on! Happy to see all the trackers! :)

Hyped up

Listening to : Impossible - Bayje

It's been a while since i've actually started a week on a high note.
Well, that was the case for this week. I dunno why myself.
I think it was simply due to the face that i STAYED at home on sunday night.
Which really helped alot. I dunno why but guess there's some psychological thing.
But i'm glad this week, and its wednesday already! Quite fast to me honestly, ignoring the fact that i gotta do my exercise tomorrow

Met up with Sijia just now. Well, there's been some issues/complications between us before.
But i gotta admit, if there's one friend i'm really thankful for its gotta be her.
Yup, she's been there very often and i guess its been the same likewise.
In fact, she's my longest running best friend. Haha! All my other friends simply fade out of contact. Somehow, i dunno why but she just sticks around.
Guess she was there to pull me back when everyone practically gave up hope.
Yup, can remember how she'll keep calling and calling and how i'll NEVER pick up her calls, intentionally or unintentionally simply to avoid contact.
But i guess it was this persistence that moved me a little to come back.
Other than that, she's really a great buddy whom i'll want to have all the way.

ALSO! On the bright side, NG SHIMING PASSED HER DRIVING!
So happy for her! I remember how she'll whine to me about how annoying her instructor will be.
How tough it will be to drive and complicated things will be and how tough it'll be to juggle both SOT, uni and driving.
At least its all over and she's FREE!!!
Now i can be driven around, ewith my girl right beside me. :)
Can't wait, next problem. Where to get a car. Hmmmm.......
Well, till then! Its the normal transport of CAB!
Sadly so, well, alot of things to think about now. Money, Time, Future.
Now that there's SOME time to breathe, its time to settle all of them out.
Oh and funny thing is, when my girlfriend JUST ended, I JUST started.
Basic Theory on Friday. wow

Sickly

Listening to : How i could just kill a man - charlotte sometimes

I guess i'm really not watching myself.
I'm like coughing like an idiot now. The last time i coughed so much was my auzzie trip.
I was like a sick dog. Dragging myself in and out of bed.
My nose bled like once a day.
I'm quite happy i'm not in such a state yet though.
But the flu and cough is really making my stay awake and is really annoying.
the cough medicine makes u drowsy so u sleep.
I had the best sleep on Friday night after the medicine.
Well, the bad thing was that it was TOO STRONG! I woke up half dizzy and high.
For real, it made me higher than any alcohol i've ever taken.
It took me till like after lunch to wear it off.
I'm never taking that again. I can imagine myself controlling when i'm high.
Aircrafts will crash everywhere.
Well, good thing about all of this is that i get to go in 2moro morning instead of tonight.
However, the bad thing would definitely be that i gotta wake up same time and all still.
To me, the comfy bed makes all the difference. yes it does!
Gonna sleep real early to wear the 'high' off.
This week was super emo....
EMO to the max man. well i hope next weekend would be better!

soundtrack

Listening to : Thunder - Boys Like Girls

Confinement is finally over!
The pain of it was alot less excruciating than what i thought it would be.
Like the 9 hours passed by quite fast and it appeared as if time flew by.
Though the officers on course would be a little more uptight on certain things.
But apparently they couldn't be bothered about us chilling and resting.
Actually its 3 plus in the morning and i'm really wondering why i'm not sleeping my ass off.
Other than that, tomorrow will be spending my day with shiming.
Speaking of which, i've been listening to music alot.
To me, every season and every occasion has a new theme song or rather a soundtrack.
Haha, I remember when it was in the A level period, 'won't go home without you' was in.
During the BMT it was 'pictures of you' which got the mood in for me.
During the prom time it was 'Saddest song'. For now, it's 'thunder'.
The songs may not ENTIRELY match the situation but it really makes me remember the days and times spent in that situation. Like how sad i'll be in tekong, how tough it was in A levels.
As for my girlfriend. There're too many songs to name.
Actually most songs all relate to her. Haha! Guess its just me but yeah.
I remember her most of the time in camp....
Sorry for those buddies of mine but i think of her like 80% of the time!
Anyway, enough of that. time to SLEEP!

Sweet escape

Listening to : The man who can't be moved - The Script

Its been an interesting week, but an agonizing weekend.
Why?
Cause of confinement, I mean, i ain't THAT sore about it but...
Its just you know. As annoying as it can be.
Got quite alot to talk about this time. Yes i do.
To me, the biggest thing would definitely be wednesday.
My parents wedding anniversary.

To me, Such events should be celebrated internally.
Ie. Within the couple.
However, i guess they think otherwise.
So my dad being the non-romantic guy.
Indeed surprised us all.
"We are throwing a surpirse for your mummy at the best steakhouse in town, do dress appropriately and don't tell her."
Yup, that was what my dad said, I was honestly really really shocked. To hear those words emerge from his mouth was like vegetables to me. And I don't eat vegetables...
So yeah, we indeed went to the best steakhouse in town.
I mean the BEST like MORTONS. I thought it'll be costly. But not THAT costly.
Well, cut long story short. I'm honestly quite happy to see them both this way. It didn't turn out exactly like how it should be, but my mum was really surprised nonethless.
In the end, seeing them hug at such an old age kinda gets both goosebumps on my hands and also a warmth in my heart.
I mean, how cool would it be if we get married in future and remain so loving?

Guess in Singapore we ain't the best loving creatures around.
Dad works, Mum 90% of the time works, kid is left to the maid/childcare.
So yeah, thats the rough idea of the family structure.
At least that is the idea for me. I didn't bother looking into wikipedia to find the stats but i'm guessing those are the structures of most families in Singapore.
ALSO! It's common to say "don't eat where you shit". Ie. Don't get your partner where you work. Therefore! The couple wouldn't be in such close contact anymore.
Looking at me and shiming, i guess we're an anomaly but we really can't stop meeting each other. I know i'm what 9 months into NS but i still literally DEMAND to see her every weekend.
I guess and I hope that is the same way for her. Or at least thats what she says. So i believe her.
We're NOT in the same organisation as we were in JC, so I guess it really does take effort.
So this is to all married/going to get married/planning marriage/wannabes.
Its all about keeping the LOVE!

Ok, you have got to be thinking, Lionel is partially gay.
NO I'M NOT! I just thought i should talk about this after my parents anniversary.
I salute my Dad for such an act.
Well, enough mushy stuff. Time to sleep. Sian.