The Blind Side

Listening to : You've got the Love - Florence and the Machines

I learn alot from movies.

Morals, spirit, courage, many of those.

In fact, I get certain revelations from it even. Of which many are really interesting.

Very seemingly tough to link what we learn to movies at times.

But I always like to do that. To keep it close to my heart.

So the movie "Blind Side".

Initially I thought it was a film of literally a blind man.

However, it's when I actually watched the show and then I realized what it really means.

It's the hidden spot when the quarter back is open to tackles in football.

Very similarly. it's like the area where you can't see and the most vulnerable to.

When we get smacked from that point, that angle.

It's good game for us.

So in the game, they employ one person to do precisely one thing.

To protect that blind side. He's called the Left Tackle.

You stick your guts out for those who stick theirs for you.

It's very simple.

You give your life to those who give theirs to you.

And you either let them get smack in the back or you smack those whom are going to do so.

So put it in very simple words.

It's all about protecting those you call your own.

When we all say "As One". Is it really so?

Do we really go out to cover each others Blind Side?

I play lotsa sports, so I'm really crazy over such small minor issues.

I can imagine that in the game of ultimate, this Left Tackle is the dump.

How ever way you put it, it's very clear and concise.

This person is vital to the success of the team and the family.

Cause when you don't cover their ass, they won't be covering yours.

In turn, enemy gains ground.

It was inspiring in the movie when The main character played out a scene when he really covered and protected his foster parents and family despite the lack of knowledge regarding their whereabouts.

In fact, he took the unknown step to stand for them.

But before we see that happening, the family took an even bolder unknown step to care and cover his back.

As easy as it is to break the chain of trust. Like how we all say, trust can be easily broken but harder to gain back.

I DISREGARD IT. Sorry, Cause I've realized that it isn't so.

It's when you take a plunge, when you dip yourself into believing into not just an ideal, but a person.

We don't do the many things we do because we have to.

We do it cause we want to.

That to me is what defines our lives.

When we choose out own destiny, our own fate.

So what is it going to be?

One of distrust? Fear? Uncertainty?

Or of Trust, Faith and stepping out of the unknown.

Yeah, I'm sure there'll be disappointments.

But if someone stuck their butt out for me before and pulled me out.

I'm sure that I'll be willing to endure it to continue doing that.

Cause someone saw hope in me.

Gave me their trust, gave me their hope.

So in all of us, we don't just carry the lives of our own but those of that have sown into ours.

Your family, your friends, your loved ones.

Cover their Blind Side.

Cause they covered yours.

53A

Listening to : Hate that I love you - Rihanna

Yes! So the surprise wasn't exactly a a success. But I'm sure everything else went according to plan. The whole party went out without much of a hiccup.

Quite pleased with the turn out which was just nice.

Turning 21 isn't a big thing for me honestly, But I'm sure it is for her.

For those whom shared her life with her.

This is all worth it. I'm sure it's the first time there is a gathering of all her friends.

I'm sure the surprise of 53A was unbelievable as well.

Hey man, who can say that 53A personally came for their birthday??

Anyway, I really appreciate her with everything.

All the effort was worth it for sure.

I love her and this is for everything that she has done not just for me, but for everyone.

Happy birthday Baby. I'm sure you'll go so much further than where you are now.

Now that the party is over. I do have some more breathing space.

But now I finally realized, I'm going to the states in a weeks time. Wow.

I'm quite excited for it.

On the other hand, I'm really going to miss my baby.

I haven't done much reflection the past few days.

Was too busy. So can't talk much about that.

However, one thing which really picked me up was a movie quite a while back.

Invictus.

When one man can and will change the World.

I'm always surprised at how such magic can happen.

It makes me wonder to myself.

What am I really doing with my life right now? Is there any sense in what I'm doing.

Yeah, I don't want to be caught in the rat race. Cause I know that when I do so, I'll be too distracted to really do any good at all.

Probably the only thing which is keeping me from entering that phase is my laziness.

Which isn't very good as well.

Am I really going to change the World? Can I even do it?

It's quite a far fetched ideal if you ask me.

I've heard of people getting married, pastoring a church at the age of 25.

I'm 21 this year going university.

Perhaps I'm already caught in this sad race for money and fame.

Being too fixated in my grades that I don't even consider the better opportunities or rather more called opportunities.

It wasn't as easy getting those grades. Sometimes I think it's more of a curse than a blessing.

Distracting me from the path which I really should be going for.

Everything has it yes and no's. Good and bads.

I just need the courage to choose it. Thats all.

Anyway, that aside. I'm really glad to see Shiming smile.

People all say that my life revolves around her.

Neglecting and not caring about friends and important ones.

Yeah, I apologize for that ever happening. But sorry I won't change a thing.

Cause she's really the reason why I can keep going at times.

Yes, God plays a huge role. Everything I do is really paved for him.

But the motivation may really be her.

The motivation is Love, inspiration is anointing.

Who says UM doesn't teach you spirituality hur.

On a side note, I'm excited. Cause the building is secure.

The plan is concrete, the site is declared.

I want to be a big part in this.

Passion

Listening to : Stick With You - Pussycat Dolls

It's prob the easiest thing to lose I suppose.

But I think it's one of the simplest thing to obtain at times as well.

Passion.

It waivers from time to time.

Occasionally playing tricks on your mind and makes you do the dumbest thing.

Makes you go out of your way for that extra effort.

However, after due time, after losing it, you feel like a retard.

It either makes you wonder why did you ever do the things you did.

Or makes you wonder how you ever accomplished them to begin with.

Tougher question is how are you ever going to continue after losing that passion for it.

I know full well how it feels to put the shovels to the plough.

Where before that, we never felt like it was work at all.

Dragging your feet through every seemingly meaningless act.

Finding the joy in doing things never seemed so difficult.

The biggest adversary at every point becomes the flawless burning first desire.

But is it worth it?

Is it worth it to keep on at something even though you've lost it?

I honestly wonder. How do we love Forever?

Is it really possible? Is it something that we can grasp?

Can we keep on that passion for a someone or a something?

What I do know is that we may lost the passion at times.

But it can be retrieved, it can be restored.

If we keep pressing on it, if we keep believing in it.

I'm sure that passion and love can continue forever if we want it to.

Though it may seem like boring tough work at times, I'm very sure things will work for the best.

If we only but try for one moment.

If we just don't ever give up on ourselves and our friends.

But is it the same for work? Sports? Ministry?

I'm certain there are the low points.

But there is a famous saying which goes like this...

"If life gives you lemons, you can either suck at it or make lemonade."

You can sulk and feel that there's no more motivation, no more passion.

Or you can actually find it back again.

I would like to do that.

Right about now.

Start anew

Listening to : Electric Twist - A Fine Frenzy

Totally amazed and inspired to start anew.

That's what I can say to describe my Korea Trip.

It was so breathtaking I cannot think of any other scenarios I have been this amazed.

This is going to be a relatively long one. From the very start till the end.

It first started with hesitation and true displeasure.

I didn't know what to really expect before leaving for this trip. Whether it will be good or not, whether it will really change my life this time round.

To begin on a very bad note, we got our flight timings mixed up.

By 12 hours or so.

So we rushed and packed our bags in a span of an hour and rushed to the airport.

To think I was playing frisbee a few moments ago while I was on the plane.

Then lift off!! It was a lift off with mixed emotions.

However, what really kept me in the game was the words which Shiming said.

Go with a heart of expectancy.

So yeah I did, I wanted a new vision, I wanted a breakthrough from my life.

First touchdown was at 8am Korean Time.

I can really remember it, slight fear but a whole lot more Faith.

The first sight of Korea was already really breathtaking.

The snow was everywhere, though it was the worst storm in like a 100 years.

It was truly an amazing sight for me. I have never seen snow in my life.

I always wanted to feel it, touch it.

Then we went up the bus, the first experience of Shivering cold. Terrible terrible cold.

We reached the hotel by 12pm. Then came the first snowball to the head by my brother. Then my stomach started to rumble.

Next scare for the trip. WHAT ABOUT FOOD!!!

I have always resented Korean food cause of it's vegetable base.

However, the first meal was the utter best with the best Herbal Ginseng Chicken in town as suggested by a local. My spirit was lifted, I was ready for anything now.

The magical thing about the while trip was that we were rubbing shoulders with various pastors as well as leaders from different churches.

So came dinner, with lots of food, and a picture with Pastor Kong to top it all off. :)

Then was the trip to Myaeng-dong. The firs shopping district.

If you thought that orchard road was cool, you haven't seen nothing yet.

The streets were all paved with snow but nonetheless, it was still streaming with people!

The road-side shops with all them sugary treats were a delight.

However, it was a slight disappointment when we realized it was mainly for the ladies....

We reached back by 1030 and then the hard reality hit us. I have to wake up by 315.

The very first real spiritual encounter.

We rose by 315. Struggled our way through the toilet with only 4 hours of sleep.

Me and my brother were constantly joking around still.

Which was truly a joy to do so. Very Surprisingly so.

So came the time when we reached Yoido Full Gospel Church.

It was a building of magnificence. Truly miraculous.

That was the exterior.

However, when I went inside, I was blown away!

It was 4 in the morning but filled with spirit filled Christians all praying!

The hall was FULL! 8000 people stuffed it! Not even counting the overflow.

I didn't know where to begin, cause the building, the people, all gave me a sense of Faith, Purpose. It made it all seem that the impossible was truly very easy to accomplish, it was possible. The building and people was a testimony of victory!

Then I decided to gave in to Prayer. I started and went all in for it.

But at 430 one of the Pastors came out to pray and with a roar.

The whole hall SHOUTED CHEEYO CHEEYO CHEEYO!!!!

I have no idea what was that! But after that, they all rampaged in prayer!

I was shocked but it was a sight to really behold.

Was it the simple act of the prayer? Or did they really believe in something more?

One thing I was sure of, I really desperately wanted some of that.

Some of that Faith, some of that breakthrough.

Then it all seemed clear. That was the point for the year.

Passion, Purity, Prayer.

It seemed surreal, but it came down to the basics.

The vision and impact of the entire place was not cause of the fancy theatrics.

It was the simple mere basics which got them this far.

Then came the prayer mountain.

First step out was COLD! In fact, coldest I have ever been!

But I could tell, despite the freezing weather and seemingly aimless tour.

It was a place of spiritual saturation.

So I took some time, to pray for 2 things most dear to me.

My love for God. My love for Shiming.

Day 3. Was a struggle to arise from the bed. SO SO tired. But all the more worth it.

It started, once again, with the prayer meeting at 315.

However, what was more amazing was that the hall was filled even quicker than the day before.

What is in these people that makes them SO SO motivated!?!?

The weather is sub-zero but they brave it EVERYDAY just to come and pray.

This time round, I joined in the Cheeyo.

It felt good honestly, but what felt better was I felt a breakthrough coming.

The spiritual moments were utterly indescribable. Even personal to begin with.

However, I know one thing. I have fallen in love with prayer again.

The presence was so real. It wasn't one which made you tear or anything like that.

But it was one which made you KNOW that the prayer was answered.

Then was the MIDWEEK service! Why do they have it?

I have no idea. But still, the HALL WAS FULL TO THE BRIM!

Service had less prayer, alot less in fact. But it seemed very very simple and basic.

No fancy things with rolling lights. But very strong still.

I didn't know why. But I really enjoyed the service. Alot in fact. Maybe cause the presence was there. The spirit of God was there.

The next day was the last morning prayer meeting already.

I was honestly thinking to myself. Have I really gotten what I wanted?

Was I asking for too much. Was I too demanding to want for more?

However, it was simple and easy. It was given to me.

Everything that I prayed for, all the visions that I was all asking for were all answered.

It seemed all so simple. But after what YFGC has done, it can amount to something really magical and miraculous.

The rest of the trip was really great. Shopping and the new night market.

It's insane how the night market OPENS at 8pm all the way till 6 am.

How I wish there was something like that in Singapore and all.

So it was a real fun time.

All in all, what can I say about this trip?

I have gotten a whole lot more than what I initially bargained for.

I just wanted a vision, I was given a whole lot more. I was given my spirit back.

I felt so inspired and so motivated to do more.

I will do more, for the sake of the people.

It isn't about the numbers, it's really about the Glory of God himself.

I can do so much, but when it all boils down, it's about prayer.

It's about talking to God, speaking to him face to face daily.

Not just to ramble on and on about what you want, but to really really know him.

Also, I may not have expressed it really well.

But this trip was a great time for me and my brother.

As a support, as a great friend, he was really there.

I would say I have had a change of heart.

if the trip was all a waste, at least I can say that I've gotten closer to him.

It felt great when practically everyone asked if we were brothers.

I really enjoyed this trip with him.

If it wasn't for him, my year would be in possible shambles.

If you have yet to go to Korea? Please go, it is a trip of a lifetime!

CHEE YO!!!!

Next Chapter

Listening to : Built to Last - Melee

The time has finally come.

It's finally 2010! A new decade, a new beginning!

Believe it or not, 2009 is already over, it was literally so yesterday.

It ended with a real blast and I have to admit that I wouldn't want to have it any other way.

Every time I do think back of 2009. I'm really glad.

I'm really happy.

Before I go on to the hopes and resolutions for the new year...

I really wanna look back at the year of 2009. Few significant things have happened.

Of which, I really want to share.

Just to sprout out a few...

LOUD Camp, 3 years anniversary, PLAB Squadron, Frisbee.

I'm just really happy that they all have happened.

However, I will not forget the most important few issues.

That is, to really thank those whom have made a great deal of impact in my life.

I'm not used to doing this...

But I guess I should really give thanks for those around me.

In no order of Merit.

Life has been hard this year, I can and never will understand, but I am willing to standby you. No matter how I feel at a certain point, though I really can't understand you sometimes, I will always Love you, my Brother, Wayne.

I took quite a fair bit of effort to get you in, but looking at where you are now today really brings me smiles. I just hope that you'll be as strong as ever. You're so much of an inspiration to me. Kim Yip

The many days and not forgetting early mornings spent under the sun hucking to each other while it's just the both of us. You fulfill the passion in me, Erwin, Ronald

Just when I thought that NS was really bad and boring, you 2 came in to brighten up my days in talkdown as well as office. Kelvin and Wei Lun

Though really crude, but always teaching me the ways to conduct myself as an officer but also as an individual, for the knowledge that all of you have imparted to me. F4, Adrian.

You gave me an opportunity that anyone will dream of. Giving me a second chance at this, I will totally not regret my decision to do so. Jeff and Baoling.

You were the buddy I always wanted. Too bad you came in slightly late. But you continue to be that laughter and monopoly buddy to me. I really enjoy it. Loving you deep deep. Yi Xiang.

I will never know what runs through your mind. But I'm always inspired by the ever lasting conflict between spirit and soul. Of which, you come out victorious always, Jian Hao.

Cause being born in 1989 will never be as fun without you guys, and for believing that I can really accomplish some of the most ridiculous things in my life, Wei Lin, Justine, Yu Lin.

Though the contact is much less and very short, I'm always glad to be surprised by your constant calls to whine and gifts you give, Tan Sijia.

Though you can be very very retarded, you always come through when it needs to be serious, and always there for me though I always ain't, Alvan, David.

Your resolve to be with us has never been so evident. Cause you always remind me what it means for real fellowship to happen. For the smallest tasks comes at sacrifice, Bing Liang, Thinh.

No, you are never forgotten. Cause both of you will be a huge part in my life. Cause we shared a great deal of pain together, that forges something I will never forget. Feline and XY.

The troubles and secrets shared will never be told, for making my suppers all the more exclusive and lifting me up, making me feel needed. Sean and Yong Chao.

You are a brother to me and always will be. Forget about all that has happened and ignoring the outcome, I'm glad that I've been with you this year, I can thank God for that. Derrick.

My Wingman, The anchor for many things in my life. I couldn't make it through this year without you, seriously. When things went rough, you really roughed it up with me. Thank you so so much, Mark.

You guys were the family in which one could only dream of. When things went rough, we would all hustle it out together. When I had my burdens, many would come to my distress. But not just tough times, when I rejoiced, everyone else did. Thanks for a great year E406.

My best friend, my advisor, my baby, my Supergirl. If I could only have one person in my life, it would be you. You've seen me through everything in my life this year. Hasn't been the easiest of years for us, but I'm really glad that we came out stronger from it. This is real to me, and this is definitely good. You believe in me when nobody else did, you trusted me when nobody dared to. Cause when no one though I could do the impossible, you told me to make it happen. Cause I love you from the bottom of my heart, thanks for a 2009. Shiming.

Lastly, the greatest of all, Thank you Jesus for everything that has happened in 2009. I'm so happy that it has all happened. I wouldn't have had it any other way. You've made my dreams come through, given me new dreams, allowed me to do what I cannot do. Given me hope and Faith when I had none. Told me to let go when I was holding back. For answering so many of my prayers. For helping me grow this year. For loving me. Thank you so much, so so much God.

2009 was phenomenal. I don't know how 2010 will be better, but I know it will. Cause whatever it is, we're all built to last.