the Bail

Listening to : Citizen Erased - Muse

I have been to many 1 year birthdays of kids.
However, I've been to only a few wakes.
Only 1 funeral. Till now. And why does it have to be the most shocking of them all.
It only takes a small effort to lose a life. but alot to keep it. That is what i believe in.
However, No father should be around to send his son.
Today... We as a family sent a child...
Marcus would be remembered forever.
Some or rather many would ask why take a child of such young age goes.
Why Why Why. However, rather than asking why and mourning what i've lost.
I'd rather relish the memories shared. Cause the dusk is the darkest before dawn.
I was supposed to teach him how to run, play basketball, chase girls.
Or what i hoped for. All i can do now is pray that he is in greener pastures...

Is this it?

Listening to : All Eternity Awaits - SG Youth

Is this the change that is happening?
Is this what I really want?? In offering my life...
Yes I hope it is... I know it is!
Haven't felt this way in a long time. Not just to please or to impress....
But I feel a real burden.....
What am I doing?? It isn't enough.....
I need to do more. Alot more...
To win the souls and hearts of millions, i must start with mine...
That is my goal for the year. I believe 2009 is indeed a different year.
A different note, a different start....
Not going back, but becoming a new conqueror. Above all that was.
Alright, enough talk... more action to be done.
Starting with this Sports fest. Time to throw away the pride...

On another note, I gave in to my sickness today. I just couldn't help it.
I took mc for tomorrow. I'm too tired... too weak in the meetings.
I'm trying to take down minutes and stay awake. It ain't easy man.
It seems derrick really got it bad. Hope he gets a change of situation.
Well, i Hope i recover soon. I really want to run very badly.
Very very badly. Yeah. To do that i need to recover from my sickness!! I'm trying all sorts and means. New medication, new everything. I'm even drinking peach tea cause it may just perk me up. HAHA!! Can u imagine... PEACH TEA!!! YAY!!
On a more serious note... i need to tame both my flesh and the spirit.
Its kind of a trg year for me. Haha.
BUT BUT BUT!!! Like what Tong Dee has said....
Admist the intense stress and focus in my life...
I'm essentially still....
A HAPPY GO LUCKY GUY underneath all the frowns and sweat. :)
Yay!
Alright. Time for some music therapy by 53A on youtube and to rest for another 10 hours. Look forward to lunch with the Dr.

changed heart

Listening to : Saturday Nights Alright - Nickelback

My head is trobbing...
Body is hot...
throat is in pain...
Nose is blocked.....
Everything points to one word.... MC!
However, I'm still going to work tomorrow!!!
Yes, even i am surprised. Its the first time i actually turned down an MC from a doctor.
There's just too much work to be done tomorrow.
Don't wanna be a slack off idiot and not do any of it.
So yes, i'll do my part to chip in to the squadron.
For me, i guess i really look to this squadron as a responsibility now.
Not just a job or chore. But guess i want to help out...
But yes, I'm still in a very very very rotten state. Or how'd u put it...
I'M DYING.
Ok exaggerating. Either way, life goes on...
Sports fest is coming up... There's really alot to do in this week.
I'm both excited and tired... Its rather contradictory. But i'm really trying to have a changed heart to the aspects of church as well.
Trying to give it more effort and more of myself.
I shouldn't forget my roots eh.
Alright. time to sleep...12 hours of sleep, here i come....

Hero

Listening to : Citizen Erased

Its a saturday morning. And i just realised. I don't hae much to do...
Haha, guess it ain't like the normal book outs of a cadet anymore.
Not too hardup to go out and all. Oh well...
However! One thing i REALLY feel like doing now is
PLAY GUITAR HERO!
This is random. I know... but yeah. I got the sudden urge to do so.
Its coming to the end of the month!
Everything has taken a full cycle. Or almost everything.
School has started in JC, SM exams are starting, CNY over...

I've actually come to appreciate my workplace quite a bit.
Though there are sudden stresses as well as injects.
The people i work with are nice at the same time vigilant.
They're not lazy... Like me... SO yes, i do have to pick up a trait or two from em.
Who knows... I may just sign on.
Ok... maybe not.

Its been quite a while since i've actually met up with ALOT OF PEOPLE.
I dunno why too. Guess I HBB too much....
Yup, at least I admit it eh, UNLIKE MARK!
But yes, haven't met up with the trackers, the family, the gang.
Wa, i really gotta make some time this week to meet em....
So if you're reading this and realising you're part of it and recieve a call from me...
Yes lets meet up...

Enthusiasm

Listening to : Love remains the Same - Gavin Rossdale

So it seems that me posting an entry two days in a row shows that i am EVIDENTLY BORED!
Well, its beyond the point of resting to boredom.
Why am I so free at this hour?
Its really cause i'm on night manning tomorrow. Can't say much cause I may have to kill anyone who reads this entry. But yeah, i'm basically 12 - 9 tomorrow.
Which really honestly SUCKS. Cause i was planning my night for 2moro.
Yeah. SO much for timbre / Mambo with SM.
I do hope to do one of them despite the manning status though.

Anyway, I actually me up with the old old OLD gang today.
Like if u thought u were my first batch of friends, you're wrong.
Met up with my Pri school friends. People whom i've known since Pri 1.
Some even Earlier. So yeah, my childhood friends.
I'm glad I met em and see that they're doing really great and all.
We all went different paths after sec school....
OK MAYBE ONLY I WENT ON ANOTHER PATH.
Ultimately it was a really good time to catch up. I hope it doesn't become a once a year event.
I do wanna keep in contact more often, hopefully that'll happen in uni...
I've got a few groups of friends, this is one group i really WOULDN'T want to lose.
No matter how long we've not met up, i can seem to talk to them as easily.
No stress whatsoever. I can imagine how it'll be when one day we all get married.
HAHA! It'll be really funny then.

Speaking of old time friends, there's another friend which i suddenly remembered.
Yup thats Tan Sijia. Haha! Its been wat, 5 years???
Longest running best friend. Nothing more, nothing less...
Glad to be around such good people both past and present and definitely future.
Some people really can't be replaced at all.
Yes I do feel blessed. :)

Meaning

Listening to : Secret Valentine - We the Kings

I know my blogging habits are rather irregular. Blame my friends for it!
Well, i simply have very little or no time to blog anymore.
At least after the new year and festivities, things are more settled down.
Well, as i said, i've got many resolutions. But one side point is to give myself time.
Time to just. NUA. and well, do nothing and laze around at home.
I dun need to keep going out and all.

Well, NS has been rather good. I'm settling really nicely in the squadron.
Despite the heavy demand on our time and weekends at times.
I'm quite ok with it. I guess its the company and all.
I want to make the most out of many things!

A big change for me this year which I am PROUD to say I'm doing is that i'm going for a marathon!!! No I won't wait till the year ends for standard chartered. I'm doing the sundown.
So because of it i've been training often enough.
Its actually fun in some ways. I've lost alot of speed but gained more stamina in exchange.
Running everyday MYSELF is really a big change.
Since i'm stay out, it does take some effort to go for a run. Yeah, now i think i'm progressing just right!!! Hello 42KM!!

I know i mention this in every entry i do. Yes i do love my girlfriend.
I dunno why, i guess its cause we've been together for SO long. I'm really happy.
I'm happier everyday cause of it. Friction may appear but never really lasts i guess.
I'm trying to catch the fire back for wat i used to be passionate about.
I'm trying to become wat I was when I was in JC and School.
Both in terms of running, spirituality and focus.
That was the climax for that period of my life. Yup, now i'm trying. I hope to achieve.

Now i know what it is to emo....
EMO....