CUT CUT CUT

Listening to : The Fall - Pixie Lot

I should really be sleeping at this late hour.

However, I'm being compelled to blog due to my wet hair and persistent English essay right beside me.

Yes, welcome the newest English Language teach Mr Choong, whom teaches using Physics methods. When that happens, you honestly know that you're pretty much bound to fail.

Either way, the past few weeks were really tough in a certain sense?

One can honestly tell when there has been a spirit of strong opposition to what we're doing.

Every time we try to make the magic happens, someone just needs to come spoil the show.

This time even before the show happens itself.

Many people are falling ill and having issues which were supposed to have been dealt with a long time back. It's rather infuriating at times, really.

Circumstances like these come and go.

But tough men don't. I've been excited for AC.

For me, I haven't been sick, but on the contrary, I've been plagued with negatives.

Things which shouldn't be in the thick skull of mine.

It's residing there, deep within. I wouldn't say it's jealousy. But rather, I guess it's where my legitimacy lies. To this World? Or to God?

Not even to heaven for that matter. But to God himself.

I've been trying to break free from that mentality.

Whereby we keep saying that I'm doing this for the greater good of man kind.

But sometimes we need to rethink our strategy. In fact, we need to think if we need a strategy to begin with. What's the real motive deep down??

Are we really doing this for God? Or for myself?

That makes happiness worth being happy about.

It's like the icing on the cake which makes the entire meal seem worthwhile.

1st, 2nd or last for that matter.

The fact that I'm in this competition if by God's grace. The fact that I'm here right now is by God's grace. So I'm gonna shift my focus a little.

To the one thing which matters.

I know, I know, it isn't the time to be thinking in such a manner. Especially with AC round the corner. Ushers are in desperate need of help.

If you haven't realized, we are rather stretched in all directions.

Thus, I find it very appropriate to take 5 just before the big match.

I need a psyche up speech, I need some motivation, or rather, I need some real quiet time.

Through all of these controversies, I only want my Shiming to know that she's the one whom really matters as well. I just need her. I really do.

Cause when I'm eventually on that stage, I'm going to need the support.

Cause winning is secondary, even the journey there is not in the top list.

What matters is that at the end of the competition and we walk down the stage, I can proudly say that I've contributed one way or another to changing ASIA.

PS. I LOVE THE HAIR CUT! Really, super sexy.

Listening to : Commander - Kelly Rowland

Ok this is it!!! Here goes nothing!!!

http://www.asiaconference.org.sg/2010/comp-games_pageant.php\

SELF EXPLANATORY!!!

LIONEL CHOONG IS THE NAME!!

love you deep deep

One reason to the next

Listening to : Because of you - Neyo ft Kanye West

I just find it strange and peculiar.

My interest shifts so easily from one point to another.

I took up the sport of Frisbee, got rather addicted to it.

Then because I wanted to get better, tried Crossfit during their off season.

However, this was prolonged due to irritating injuries from time to time.

So I stuck with Crossfit. However, I am at a point where my heart is divided.

I love crossfit now. It's mind blowing, I've explained it so many times I'm actually lazy to do so.

So yeah, just go google crossfit singapore.

But doing so reminds me of the track days. In a way.

At the same time, I do miss Frisbee and would definitely want to get back on the pitch real soon.

I really do so very very badly!

I miss hucking jumping and catching.

Anyone would simply advise me to do BOTH.

But yes, due to limited time, I am unable to split my body and mind into 2 so easily.

Factoring in the future clauses of studies and stuff like that.

It's all the idea of maximization.

Other than that, I doubt I'll have to capacity to cope.

Yes, the GEP program is rather crazy.

(One of my batch mates actually went to source out and disseminated all the lecture notes)

UNBELIEVABLE!!!

It's too early for this.

I'M TOO YOUNG FOR THIS!!!!

Or at least I feel so.

I'm not exactly ready for varsity life. I still feel like the playful self.

Oh well, I hope SOT will continue to change and mould me.

wakey

Listening to : Airplanes - Paramore

When the heart is big, it can contain more.

But at the same time, the devil finds it hard to miss.

It's days like these whereby I know I need more grace.

I need more help.

It doesn't happen often. It's for no reason whatsoever.

But I know when I wake up, it'll be all over.

Forever

Listening to : The Truth - Kris Allen

It's about being Perfect, to be the best there is.

But I want you to understand something.

To me, being Perfect is not about the scoreboard out there.

It's not about winning, it's about you and your relationship to yourself and your friends.

Being Perfect is about being able to look your friends in the eye,

and know you didn't let them down.

Because you told them the truth, that truth is that you did everything you could.

There is not one more thing that you could've done.

Can you live in that moment?

As best as you can, with clear eyes, with love in your heart, with joy in your heart.

If you can do that, then You are Perfect.

I want you to take a moment,

Look at your loved one in the eyes.

I want you to put each other in your hearts forever,

Because forever is about to happen in just a few minutes.

I want you to close your eyes.

And think of the many people whom are our brothers.

Whom would die to be out there with us.

I want you to put that in your hearts.

Once my heart was full.

Now my hearts full.

To laugh.

Listening to : Happy Day - Tim Hughes

It's a proven fact, the we are all not perfect.

Fallen short in one way or another.

Me? I can tell you a thousand and one things which I tend to overlook.

I can tell you a hundred over things which I can quote which I really should be doing but ain't.

I mean, We all do feel that way sometimes...

However, I'm very sure of one thing in my life which I really don't need to 'care' about.

Or at least force myself to think about.

That is, to be HAPPY.

I concluded that life isn't perfect at all.

But I've really gotten used to sucking it up.

And after the past 2 days, laughing and enjoying being happy feels awesome.

To wake up to a brand new morning smiling.

It just feels awesome to me. Great way to begin.

Through the past few days, I do admit, I have to force myself to smile at times.

I've disappointed myself a few times over and over again.

But the great thing to me is that I'll be able to come out of it smiling.

Literally smiling happy. :)

Excitement. AC!

Listening to : Te Amo - Rihanna

I feel bad that I'm neglecting this blog of mine.

From time to time it's really just left for it to rot.

However, I concluded that it just simply means a few things.

That I'm not reflecting enough and I'm not thinking enough.

Ain't too sure if that's a good or bad thing.

However, the fact that I'm actually doing so now means and implies something already.

I'm not confused or caught in a rut of any sort.

I'm just well, thinking of the big things which matter now.

But at the same time, in the midst of focusing so much on the big.

I tend to neglect the small. It's like two clashing factors. The key to it is balance I suppose.

Very similar to what I've learnt in Pageantry training today.

(which is by the way, extremely amazing, learnt alot of literally life skills. Many of which come across as really basic but they all seem to elude many these days.)

It's vital and key to be able to balance Poise, Presence and your Personality.

Because to bring yourself across as someone respectable and held in position you need to have Poise.

Presence carries that certain authority that you have. Which makes people see you.

Personality is who you are, but at the same time, bringing out without speaking.

For a person like me, to be able to bring my personality out without clashing with my Poise.

It just doesn't mix you see...

I'm as noisy as a irritated monkey, but I'm supposed to mix that with Poise?

If I had my way with Pageant, I'll be jumping around on stage with hands flying high.

But yes, be happy I'm not doing so.

But instead, I've learnt that mixing my personality with Poise just means,

HAVE A WHOLE LOTTA FUN while I'm at the Pageant thing.

I take it seriously, but it's really fun! Just let loose and let it all out.

It feels like a good outlet (though I may not feel the same during the actual competition)

So yeah, I figured I just have to balance, just like my personality and Poise, the various aspects of life. I just find it tough for people to understand where I'm coming from at times.

I'd love to sit back and relax this month. But yes, it's going to be very very tough.

People speak of Asia Conference as something to be looked forward to.

I do too, but What Jeff said today really made me think.

If he has done so much, what am I doing. Really...

This conference is NOT for us. It's for THEM.

Yes, lives will be changed if I were to lay back and attend service just cause I'll recieve and impart to others eventually.

But I'm VERY VERY sure. The impact which I'll have as I usher and carry out Manhunt will be far greater than myself. I'll be able to impact ASIA.

These people attending will go out and catch that fire.

I just feel that it's my job to make sure that whatever happens, it's delivered well.

That NO MATTER what happens, they get a seat in the hall without and conflicts.

If I offend a delegate whom is a Pastor from another country, I may have just caused him to lose the fire. Doing so may hinder his recieving of the anointing.

I would've caused them the souls of hundreds or maybe thousands.

I don't want that on my hands.

AC starts now for me. Time to prep for it.

Besides the point, I really wish to get a pat on the back at times.

Not to simply receive gratitude.

However, to push me on. Cause it seems tough at times.

Especially when it comes to changing someones life.

We may labor hard, but I'm very sure that it will not be in vain. I'm sure of it.

The week will be rather arduous. With SOT and all. But I'm excited!!!