I feel bad that I'm neglecting this blog of mine.
From time to time it's really just left for it to rot.
However, I concluded that it just simply means a few things.
That I'm not reflecting enough and I'm not thinking enough.
Ain't too sure if that's a good or bad thing.
However, the fact that I'm actually doing so now means and implies something already.
I'm not confused or caught in a rut of any sort.
I'm just well, thinking of the big things which matter now.
But at the same time, in the midst of focusing so much on the big.
I tend to neglect the small. It's like two clashing factors. The key to it is balance I suppose.
Very similar to what I've learnt in Pageantry training today.
(which is by the way, extremely amazing, learnt alot of literally life skills. Many of which come across as really basic but they all seem to elude many these days.)
It's vital and key to be able to balance Poise, Presence and your Personality.
Because to bring yourself across as someone respectable and held in position you need to have Poise.
Presence carries that certain authority that you have. Which makes people see you.
Personality is who you are, but at the same time, bringing out without speaking.
For a person like me, to be able to bring my personality out without clashing with my Poise.
It just doesn't mix you see...
I'm as noisy as a irritated monkey, but I'm supposed to mix that with Poise?
If I had my way with Pageant, I'll be jumping around on stage with hands flying high.
But yes, be happy I'm not doing so.
But instead, I've learnt that mixing my personality with Poise just means,
HAVE A WHOLE LOTTA FUN while I'm at the Pageant thing.
I take it seriously, but it's really fun! Just let loose and let it all out.
It feels like a good outlet (though I may not feel the same during the actual competition)
So yeah, I figured I just have to balance, just like my personality and Poise, the various aspects of life. I just find it tough for people to understand where I'm coming from at times.
I'd love to sit back and relax this month. But yes, it's going to be very very tough.
People speak of Asia Conference as something to be looked forward to.
I do too, but What Jeff said today really made me think.
If he has done so much, what am I doing. Really...
This conference is NOT for us. It's for THEM.
Yes, lives will be changed if I were to lay back and attend service just cause I'll recieve and impart to others eventually.
But I'm VERY VERY sure. The impact which I'll have as I usher and carry out Manhunt will be far greater than myself. I'll be able to impact ASIA.
These people attending will go out and catch that fire.
I just feel that it's my job to make sure that whatever happens, it's delivered well.
That NO MATTER what happens, they get a seat in the hall without and conflicts.
If I offend a delegate whom is a Pastor from another country, I may have just caused him to lose the fire. Doing so may hinder his recieving of the anointing.
I would've caused them the souls of hundreds or maybe thousands.
I don't want that on my hands.
AC starts now for me. Time to prep for it.
Besides the point, I really wish to get a pat on the back at times.
Not to simply receive gratitude.
However, to push me on. Cause it seems tough at times.
Especially when it comes to changing someones life.
We may labor hard, but I'm very sure that it will not be in vain. I'm sure of it.
The week will be rather arduous. With SOT and all. But I'm excited!!!
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