CROSS-fit #20 Breathe

Deep in the WOD, when we're all out to do our best, we often forget to do the most vital of things.
Breathe.
You're so caught up in getting that rope under you, in controlling that 140 pound barbell over your head.
You just place all your concentration on those tasks such that you forget to breathe.
Go ahead, try sprinting all out for 100m, amateur runners would probably get gassed 50m down.

You'll beat yourself if you don't control your breathing.

Here you are, trying so hard to deal damage to the WOD, to the problem, to the devil.
You forget to breathe, so your every lift, every push, every act has NO power.

Breathe, with every movement, every swing, every jump, every prayer, every trial.
It generates so much more power than you'd ever imagine.
If you can't control such a simple task when you're doing some intricate movements, what makes you think you can pull it off against something that can actually fight back?

In the ever elusive strive to be a better person, better athlete, better Christian.
Always remember to breathe, with every new move, with every new step.
It could be prayer, it could be that call to your best friend, it could be that dedication of your life again, maybe simply taking time to appreciate where you've come from.
Make it regular, make it a habit.
Breathe, whatever that may be to you.

CROSS-fit #19 Control your outcome

It's not just you, everyone has that fight.

No matter what kind, no matter what form, everyone has it one way or another.
A milestone if I may say. Something so big that it means the World.
Some WODs are different, some tests are just different, they mean more than just an accomplishment.
A time to prove, a time to overcome, a tipping point in an athletes life.
Where this simply means success or defeat.
I'm sure everyone knows what that means, maybe not in a tangible manner for everyone, but it's there.

Yeah, sometimes it's easy to walk away, easy to avoid it.
A close friend once told me, "You can't run away from yourself."
The biggest enemy may just be yourself.
Win, lose, maybe it doesn't make a difference, but what matters is that you give it your best shot.
Maybe you're fearful when it comes to certain WODs, certain deals, certain conversations,
but do it, prove it.
This is YOUR fight, everyone has got one.

Well, at times, you're stuck, you're in submission. Moments about to give up.
The WOD simply hits you down hard, you get gassed, you got the heart but no more juice left.
In any fight, you can always change position, you just need to find a way.
Always remember, no matter what happens,

Control the outcome, it's on you, always has been.

Get on top, change your mentality, change your stance, control your game.
Control your fight, don't let it control you.
Control your life, emotions, relationship, don't let it control you.
It has always been on you.

Never Back Down, the movie which inspired this post.

CROSS-fit #18 Finishing

The spirit of competition, that's something which drives the Crossfit culture as well.
You compete and train with you best friends by your side.
When we do, it get's intense, everyone goes all out to catch the fastest guy around.
it's a natural reflex of athletes, it pushes you more as well.
But ever got a situation where you were right there, in the same pace with him, or even ahead of the top dog.
You were great but towards the end,

You let it go...

You gave that last few meters up to him.
You gave up on that last push and sprint towards the finish line.
You kinda gave up right at the very end.

It's probably perception.
"He's stronger, he's faster, he always wins."
"Life is harder, life is tough to me, and it always gets me down."

Even when you had things in the palm of your hands all the way,
don't let it go to the very end.
Coach K repeats it all the time.
"Run it through! Past the finish line!"
So run it through, run that business, that deal, the boy, girl or fast through.
I mean, imagine Jesus giving it up at the very end....
Finish a winner, cause you do have that potential deep inside. Always had.

Taking a break...

Listening to : Marry Me - Train

So, this is it....
It begins, something I never really thought I'll do, but I am gonna go ahead with it.
Man, 30 days seem really long.
Haha, hopefully after this duration, I'll be a better man, I'll be worthy.
For now, I am just going to sit back, relax and enjoy every bit of God, life and it's exploits.
When the pain comes, I'll be sure to sound it out.
But for now, right now, I've got one last day to live the past.

CROSS-fit #17 Hope

"“Don’t hope, friend. Decide.”

We all hope. We hope for the better lift, the better job, the better girlfriend or boyfriend, the better spouse, the better life. The better everything. If we’re lucky, we hope all the time.
But what if you didn’t just hope? What if you decided? And then you kicked a**. Right now.
You can’t lift the barbell with just your mind. You can’t lift your life with just your mind. Get off your posterior chain. Now.
Keep hope in your heart but take action. Seize this life with your hands. Set your goal, set your jaw, execute. There is no turning back.
Kick it into afterburner. Now. It’s later than you think."
*Credits to Crossfit-Lisbeth, taken from her.

CROSS-fit #16 The Fear

In almost every Crossfit workout or even in track and field or in any sporting event for that matter,
there's always a certain point where you just can't push yourself anymore.
Yeah, you know you can, you know you could've given that extra push alot earlier.
You could've sped up more at that last moment to make your new Personal Best.
However, you just didn't, couldn't. And yeah, it comes back to haunt you time and time again.
I know how that feels, totally...
It isn't really about your physical limits cause you know your body can take it but...
You just couldn't push yourself. It comes back to bite you, you begin to live in regret if I may say.

Well, it's cause at one point of time, we started to get scared, fearful.
Afraid of the pain, we develop that fear and we don't wanna go anywhere near it.
We've lost that fight, however, face it, don't run away.
Be ready to embrace whatever fear that may be for you.
Fear of rejection, fear of failure, fear of what people will label you as, fear of what's on the whiteboard.

We won't go anywhere if we don't face it...
We won't be hitting new times in Cindy or Karen if we ain't ready to face that fear of pain, suck and failure.
We won't be getting that new job if we ain't ready to face that fear of rejection, disappointment.
We won't be getting that breakthrough if we ain't ready to face that fear of uncertainty...
Face it, Fight it and don't shun away when it starts to prick a little, if definitely will.
When you do get over it, you're on the greener side of life.

CROSS-fit #15 Trigger Point

Everyone has that soft point, where the sore comes in. It differs from person to person.
It's what we call, the trigger point.
Personally, it's right smack at the shoulders and some point near the hip area.
Squeezing it or applying pressure will cause IMMENSE pain but the effect is long lasting and the good stuff comes in.
For others, it may be the area near the back, hamstring or some other place.
Either way, it's really important to find that trigger point and apply pressure to it.

Of course it hurts, of course it'll be alot of endurance but the benefits reaped are much greater.
Squeezing those trigger points cause people to lose their mind at times, cause the pain may really be too much to bear.
 Sometimes you just need someone to hold you down, telling you that it's for your own good.


Or simply count down the seconds with you...
So what's YOUR trigger point?

Greed? Lust? Laziness? Or simply the compulsion to lie?
Squeeze it, get them knots out, cause from then on, your body becomes stronger...
Your body becomes healthier and yupp, that's when the fun part begins.

CROSS-fit #14 The Difference

Ever wondered what's the difference between crossfit and well any other typical gym?

In a typical gym you walk around feeling like the boss, like you're looking amazing.
You hit the bench press, punching out some good reps and some bad but who cares...
You start roaring to get some attention and eventually you get that 'pump'.
Once in a while, you take a break, stroll around talking to other gymmers, laughing at those running on the threadmill, always talking and having a conversation, in front of the mirror.
The aircon is just right, giving just enough air for my comfortable gym.
Best thing yet, no down and dirty stuff, no one to tell me that I've got a problem with my form.
Eventually, I leave feeling like I've done lots of work, look into the mirror and leave alone.

In crossfit, the story goes goes just a little differently.
You walk in feeling like you're gonna go through some huge amounts of pain.
The sign at the entrance which says "We don't use machines, we make them", doesn't exactly make you feel a whole lot better, your ego is left at the door. Walking in, the people around you are incredibly huge but strangely approach you to greet you.
You begin to hit the pull up bar but is quickly stopped by the coach or senior athletes, it's warm up time.
The WOD begins, you think that roaring will get you attention but nobody cares, but strangely, everyone else is roaring FOR YOU! Telling you to push it harder, go faster!
After the WOD, you take a break, stroll around, talk to other athletes whom all think everyone did an amazing job. No one is laughing at nobody.
Best thing yet, there're no mirrors except the one in the washroom. No aircon, just the fan, no cosmetics required, everything here is real, everything here is in the community.
The discussion continues and a second WOD begins, totally down and dirty stuff, you end that with your white shirt literally looking black cause you collapse on the ground. You've learnt a great deal about yourself and about everyone in the room.
Eventually you leave KNOWING you've done the best you can. You look at your palms and leave, with friends by your side, every single time...

How would you like your church, cell group, connect group to be like?
The similarities and differences are obvious.
[1 Corinthians 12:12]
Just as a body, though one, has many parts, but all its many parts form one body, so it is with Christ.

countdown to the 30

Listening to : Transatlanticism - Death Cab For Cutie

It's been a while, waking up with a light heart.
I suppose yesterday really made things easy, made things clear.
That his burden is light. Really light if I may add...

I've got from now till Friday, 6 full days to do all that I can.
To make full use of it, to make my point before the 30 days begin.
I can't waste it, not a second of it, I so need to know how this is going to go down.
I need hope for the Sabbatical. Yeah, God will provide, I know...
I'm sure we will all come forth stronger at the end of it.
Either stronger or more broken than ever.

So yes, I was reminded of a simple phrase Yulin said months back.
"Be kind, for everyone else is fighting a harder battle."
I can't exactly say that I've been totally independent, but I will say that many have been along side me.
And I really really am grateful, to every single one of you.
For every bit of advise, encouragement, smile and simply listening to painful Lionel.
For now, I wanna be kind, cause there're others who'll need my help, cause they're fighting a harder battle.

CROSS-fit #13 "But God"

It's always a constant fear, a constant nudging thought in your mind that...

"You can't do it, can you? It's a deadlift PR by a huge margin, no way you can do it"

"It's an RX workout, first time you're doing it and you think you can finish it?"

I guess we all have that stigma in our heads that can't exactly be removed with simple thought.

However, sometimes we just need to be convinced, that somehow yes you can.

This is an extremely heavy weight, something you've never done before, BUT You can do it.

Taking it even further, sometimes convincing yourself with the facts in your face can be really tough.

You've had a back injury, you can never lift anything over head ever again.

Are you going to listen to that? Or listen to your heart? Or listen even to God?

Life will hit you down over and over again, BUT GOD will pick you up.

Look at your life, yeah look at it now...

Does it kick it for you? Or is it really... In a mess.

But hey, the weight might be something you've never done before... BUT GOD will save your day.

Life is no where near a bed of roses.

It's sprinkled with lots and lots of pain, heartbreaks and big time disappointments.

But hold fast to your Faith, give it a shot, don't hold back on your effort.

You'll never know what you can do...

With that "BUT GOD" trigger in your spirit.

Even the smallest of potentials can do amazing things.

Double Single

Listening to : Somewhere only we know - Glee

I'm coming across really bluntly this time round, coming across with a resolve as well.
That this double life has to go.
Nobody can love a messed up man, or a man who has 2 totally different lives.
It's time to settle it once and for all, all or nothing.
Guess I've been trying to merge the 2 extremities but it hasn't been working.
Yeah, there's only one way to it, killing one altogether.
I'm not too sure what can/would possibly happen.
However, I've come to realize that my simple actions are no longer my own.
They have way too much implications and that is a cause for worry to me.

Before anything at all, before chasing my dreams, before looking at another even.
I've got to fix this up, I've got to be the one Lionel that God wants me to be.
This 30 days would be a tough one for me.
But definitely a necessary one as well.
Wait and see what can happen, I just hope that the outcome isn't one which is undesired.
Help me out in this alright?
On hindsight, memories were great. They were all really great. :)

CROSS-fit #12 Focus

Slapped on the 35# plate, attempting a relatively easy lift.

Power Snatch at 120 pounds. Honestly, very easy weight, Got into my stance, settled down.

Lifted with power but just didn't seem to get it in my first few tries.

"This is light! It's supposed to really be easy!"

Doing the easy stuff, doing them boring basics may seem easy, but at times, it can seem like the World to you.

Coach K provided a simple explanation to this.

"It's simple, you're just not focused, something is distracting you, something is bothering you."

"What is it? Get it out or get injured."

Words like these were strong, but true to me that day, and to everyone else in life.

Distractions can always come in many forms, 

but it's like a leech, sucking the life force out of you, causing your every action to be hindered and confused.

Get that distraction out, cause if you're not focused, your form breaks, your lift is wrong and there goes your shoulder.

Injuries thrive in distracted athletes.

Downfalls thrive in distracted Christians.

Get focused on the RIGHT things, on GOD.

Don't hide it away and pretend you got it under control, face the facts.

Man up and tell yourself, this is a distraction, this has to go.

CROSS-fit #11 Alone

Sometimes it's true, no matter what anyone says, we're always alone.
Yeah, you've got your friends, family but at the end of the day, when the dark of the night howls over you...
You're really alone aren't you?
Wondering if you can continue on, wondering  if whatever you're doing will succeed.
Wondering if well, God is real or not?
You begin to doubt, everyone has those times. Everyone experiences them, some more occasional than others of course. No one can truly run away from these nudging thoughts can they?

Guess doing a WOD in Crossfit, the community is always there to cheer you on.
But really, you're alone.
Nobody is going to punch those pull ups for you, nobody is squating those weights for you.
No matter what they say, no matter how much they say..
"I understand what you're going through" or "I'm doing it with you."
Really, you're on your own. Fighting yourself.
It always has been this way, it's you, yourself, God and them obstacles in life.

Sometimes it's the hard reality which sucks, guess this is just one of the many..
But we're stronger cause of it.
As much as we are dependent on others, we're stronger cause of being alone.
Nobody forges elite fitness by getting another to train for you.
Stop staring at it, stop whining, stop saying that cause you're alone, you can't.
Yes, You Can. 
Tell yourself that whenever such doubts creep up, cause it's the only way to remain being who you are.
It's the only way to be more than a conqueror.

Past erased

Listening to : Letters from the sky - Civil Twilight

As you can see, a new blogskin, a new outlook.
Hopefully that this will bring a good change.
A better perspective of Lionel as well as boosting that segment f CROSS-fit.
Mashing what I love, Crossfit with what I live for, GOD.

Also, I'm partially glad that somehow, one way or another.
Blogger messed up, erasing all posts after Thursday morning.
Guess it meant that certain things just weren't meant to be said publicly like that?
I know that this is a blog and shouldn't be highly commercialized to a certain extent.
I wouldn't want CROSS-fit to really take over this blog entirely, of course it plays a big role but...
The last thing I would want is for it to become all of me. Nah, I still want to be human.
Guess the blabber posts were definitely not required and shouldn't be present.
But either way, being emo has never been more real to me than this year.
I've learned how to feel, reflect, think, maybe even too much.
Don't exactly think that it's a very bad thing but, it keeps me aware of myself.

However, if it's anything at all, Pursuing what isn't yours or what isn't meant to be yours...
Is really futile effort ain't it?
Right now, I'm chasing a dream, a desire, but I'm unsure, uncertain.
Of course the many romantic and thought provoking movies ain't helping.
(How about Gnomeo and Juliet is thought provoking, how sissy can I get right?)
Ultimately, the choice isn't mine, it's God's isn't it?
He directs, I act. Just that sometimes, freestyling always seem to be a better option.
If I could just Peek into destiny...

*This is such a cliche line I just HAD to put it up!

CROSS-fit #10 Something more

Ever got that feeling, that whatever you're doing is something more that what it seems?
No matter how small, no matter how self serving it is, you're actually part of a bigger purpose?
Yeah, that's the thing, find that, and don't stop.
Cause no matter how small it is, it will eventually amount to something amazing.

Nothing in the WOD is noticeably going to change you the moment you finish.
You're not going to be instantly stronger, you're not gonna be the fastest guy after 10 minutes.
It takes time, but sometimes you just don't see it, you don't see that bigger picture.
That it'll take time.
That it's part of a bigger purpose.

No matter how small, insignificant your talents, task, job is....
They're all there, all there to be there FOR you.

The best aren't built in staged limelights, but in the back where there is barely any light at all.
You were made to be big, but built up in small parts.
Never let anyone put that down.
The mustard seed was small, but even that, can move mountains.

Mayyy

Listening to : Beauty in the World - Macy Gray

I have got to get my butt moving, get my mind engaged with something.
Can't seem to stay slacking around doing nothing.
I am literally rotting deep down inside.
Sometimes I even wish that I could just push my reservist forward and make my June less packed.
Yeah, among the 3 months, June is going to be one mad month.
(Nothing compared to that of the exam week of course)
Loud Camp
Higher Conference
Reservist
Level 1
Man, it's gonna be an exciting month if I may add.
Right now, I'm just taking it easy. Getting my miscellaneous chores done.
Guess the month of May will be getting back in full steam of crossfit and also getting used to random sports.
Not forgetting the many chill out sessions I'm waiting to have with YOU!
Yeah, you. Reading this right now. I need to catch up with all of you! 

CROSS-fit #9 Rehab

I know, nobody likes to do it, nobody likes to even think about it.

Rehab.

The continuous motions of back-to-basic exercises to strengthen to weakened area.

To devote time and effort doing something which is utterly boring to get you back in shape after an injury.

It really is a big pain, I for one really hate it.

It isn't fun, isn't engaging, when everyone is out there having fun, doing the WOD, you're at the corner, stretching, doing repetitive empty bar deadlifts.

Injuries, the one thing which kills and athletes spirit and heart more than anything else.

However, what's important is that we DO THE REHAB.

Often, once injured, we give up on hope, we give in to laziness.

"Hey since I'm out of action, maybe I should really be out of action, maybe I should just sit back and relax".
Well, any seasoned athlete knows that that's the the last thing to do.

Yeah, it's boring, it's back to basics.
But sometimes, those are the simple things which make life better for you.
What's the rehab that you need?
Prayer? The Word? Or simply a break?
Come on, everyone goes through this, you aren't alone. Never will be...

CROSS-fit #8 Intensity vs Form

The most hated of all WODs has got to be the heavy metcon.

Lifting something really heavy but being tasked to do some metabolic conditioning at the same time. My goodness, I really do hate those. (ie. Thrusters and a 400m run OMG)

However, there're times where I question Coach, something which seems so simple..

"Coach, why aren't some of the beginners doing something heavier?"

The reply was simple.

"When you first started out, did you go heavy one bit? The focus is form."

Ever had that instance, where you so wanted something real badly but...

The answer was just simply, "not yet".

When we want a bigger challenge, a bigger cellgroup, connect group, team or organization.

We want it now! But sometimes, "not yet".

No, it isn't wrong to desire things like these, it isn't wrong to want to expand your capacity.

But there's a time and place for everything.

God knows when that may be, literally.

The focus is form, sometimes we just ain't ready for those challenges.

Cause you'll never know, going heavy too early can cause you to split your back.

Lifting something you aren't ready for is simply a recipe for an injury.

So work on your form. Work on it daily, work on it....

Notice how it's WORK. Yeah, it takes practice.

You're not gonna get better form by simply sitting there flipping channels on your tv.

It takes painstaking hours and hours of training, getting your body used to that position.

Soon enough, your 'Coach' will give you the go-ahead.

When you're ready...

Till then, don't be shy about it, get help, be the help. Work on it.

CROSS-fit #7 Heart matters

This is a simple truth, probably going to surprise some of you fellas out there.

Big secret all of you really need to know...

It's true, NOT EVERYONE SUCCEEDS IN EVERYTHING THEY DO.

Surprised? Well, that's really how some view life.

In work, in school, in crossfit. They must be the best, they must succeed.

However, does it really matter... Does it really matter if you're the best, the top dog...

Or is it more important to look around and notice how many people are still with you.

Little Wonders.

Life is hard, don't make it harder by forcing yourself to be better than the rest.

Sometimes in the WOD, you're never anywhere near the fastest nor the strongest.

Putting on an added weight, taking up a challenge and fighting for it.

"Lionel, put on the 5kg vest, yes put it on if not don't do the workout." Coach said.

The WOD was tough enough for me, so tough I already had doubts of its completion.

However, donning it made it even worst, I literally couldn't breathe half the time.

It was tight restrictive and I really didn't know if I would be able to finish with it.

Sounds like life doesn't it? Like how we're all tied down, tired out by all the extra weight.

True enough, I didn't finish the workout, I didn't meet the time limit.

2 reactions were natural and almost immediate.

"I didn't finish it, I failed and man, I doubt I'll try again. Cause I'm gonna keep failing."

"I didn't finish it, I failed and man, I'm so going to try again."

It's the attitude in the

trial that counts. - Pst Kong.

What matters is the heart, what matters is that I gave my all, I gave my best.

Heart Matters.

Cause it's life, we don't succeed in everything we do.

We don't come forth as gold every single time, we simply don't.

But what matters is that we give it out best, every single time.

No, I'm not celebrating mediocrity of sorts.

Even if you're the best, what matters is still the attitude.

Cause someday, someone out there is gonna be better than you.

Yeah, there're about 4 billion people in the World. That's alot of competition if you ask me...

Success and happiness ain't determined by your ranks, wealth cause you'll never get there.

Instead, look around, be happy with what you have, with the effort you gave.

So throw that ego away...

You don't need it,

get humble,

get broken.

Admit your weaknesses,

failures and pick that weight up!

Cause everytime you do, you're becoming a better person.

*Josh Everett. (Man in photo)

Competed in the Crossfit Games and was gunning for the second place.

Before that, he was already physically spent in the initial rounds. He had ran so hard, towards the end, his body gave up on him. His muscles were so fatigued they will not function. He was devastated. But still, he competed, he fought on.

Somehow he made it to the last event, where it was the deadlift (Picture below) to champ another. In his last attempt, he was to lift a weight which was a good 30-40 pounds higher than his Personal Best. Everyone had thought that no way in hell could he lift it.

He walked up, stomped his feet, roared, grabbed the bar, shook it like is was feather weight.

Took a deep breathe and lifted! for that first 5 seconds, it didn't move off the ground.

Everyone was cheering, even his competitors were.

But no, it didn't move one bit... He walked off, but was met with a standing ovation.

In his own words, "It was the effort which counted. To give my best and to have people honor that, that's what matters."

So the summer begins

Listening to : Somewhere only we know - Lifehouse

So it has finally started, the long awaited summer holidays.

I can't say I'm extremely ecstatic about it.

Guess probably cause of two simple reasons,

the holiday mood kind of set in slightly prematurely sometime about a week back.

Also, well, the semester hasn't been great on a whole, I'm just a little afraid of how things will be.

Especially in this coming long holiday....

I wouldn't wanna slip back into a lost limbo.

Trying to compound my activities one after another.

Though I do know that it isn't going to be the best solution, guess this will do.

To probably stop me from letting my mind go wild again.

I've probably learnt alot this semester, much needs to be reflected upon.

More importantly, much work needs to be done in preparation for the next one.

In the mean time, at least for this week.

Let me indulge in a time of pure laziness.

*Reminded of a great song today,

"So tell me when you're gonna let me in,

I'm getting tired and need somewhere to begin"

- Keane

CROSS-fit #6 Get it Overhead

Fear is a crippling force, renders you helpless towards the devourer.

When you're afraid of something, it defines you. You lose control of your situation you were meant to be the boss of. Often, we miss the tipping point in life due to fear.

The Overhead Squat or the Snatch, pretty much the toughest lifting movement in Crossfit is deemed to be extremely demanding in terms of balance, strength, power and focus.

A slight tinge of fear of that bar going above your head and it's Game Over for you.

Any form of hesitation whatsoever will render you a failure, even worse, injure yourself and ruin your life as an athlete.

When it comes to conquering it, many beginners fear the bar, they're afraid of getting it overhead. The trick is easy, in order to get it above you, you need to drop under it to catch it.

Seldom do we see people simply muscling it all the way up.

Dealing with your problems can be tough, seldom can you rely on simple determination to pass it by, you're gonna need to get under it and face it upfront.

No point running away, no...

Get under it, dare to do so.

However, when a seasoned athlete comes over, it becomes a routine for him.

Constant opposition leads to resilience.

Keep practicing practicing and practicing.

Only then can we get better at it, only then will these become routine.

In the workout, that barbell will not care who you are, it will not care at all.

It doesn't matter if you've been training for 10 years.

It doesn't care if it's in the Crossfit Games or if it's in a simple training session.

It doesn't bother if the fella is sick or all ready to conquer it.

What that simple barbell cares about is whether YOU can lift it.

Your trials may be tough, you may be whining about how you've been through enough.

Guess what, them trials don't care one bit.

What matters is you Get it overhead.

Get used to the weight, get used to the burden and strive to go for more and more each time.

Ditch fear, ditch hesitation cause it won't do you no good when it comes to getting it over you.

The weight of the World may be resting on your shoulders right this moment, but...

Get it overhead.

Only then will you be able to aptly send it up to God.

Bear that burden, whatever it may be, burden of your family, friends even in ministry.

Get under the weight, get it overhead you.

Leave fear behind, leave hesitation.

Do what you never thought you can and lift it Higher!

CROSS-fit #5 The strangest setting

Adversity introduces a man to himself - Pst Kong

They say that when you're in the brink of death, you see your life fly by you.

When you're moments away from kicking the bucket, you somehow see angels all around.

Maybe that's why they say, meet your maker...

Perhaps it isn't too far away a setting, that at crucial moments, you meet yourself, you meet GOD, in the unlikeliest of circumstances.

I clearly remember the Friday night, a couple of weeks back.

Didn't do any WOD the past few days and thus decided to hit 'Angie'.

Guess it wasn't too smart of me to do that without anyone around me at 2 am at night...

By the time it ended, I was really wasted/smashed.

I didn't have the strength to stand up, didn't have the strength to lift my hands.

I swear I thought I was going to die. (puking was an option I had already

taken)

I was laying flat on the floor with my eyes towards the night sky.

Strangely, really strangely. It was there and then, I am so positively sure I met God.

(No I wasn't hallucinating)

As you would probably have guessed, I wasn't having too much of a fantastic day.

And it was assuring to hear him say,

Look at the stars, every single one of them, a promise for you.

You are more than this.

We all face times of pure distress, we all face times of real ridicule and 'near-death' situations.

But it's in these times, we are closest to him.

Everytime I hit the WOD, we all push our limits, sometimes beyond what we can possibly do.

Sometimes even beyond that threshold. Then we come to a point where there's nothing more...

Where all that we have left is not our might, but his...

In the strangest of settings, comes the deepest of truths.

We all go through such situations, where we come to an end of ourselves in life.

Don't let it slip away...

But keep calling out for strength.

Cause the outcome is simply magical...

CROSS-fit #4 True to yourself

There's always a simple saying.

You can lie to everyone, your friends, your family, your closest companions, but you can't lie to yourself, you can't lie to God.

Be true to yourself.

Cause that's what matters at the end of your journey. Be it in life, be it in the WOD.

Cheating in the WOD, is just like cheating on yourself, you may be at the top of the table.

The fastest, strongest guy around. But really, who are you kidding?

At the end of the day, Crossfit isn't about competition in a sense. It isn't about how much you can beat the other guy by, to be the top dog in the box.

Yeah, competition is good and all but...

What constitutes victory isn't triumph over others, but over yourself.

Be who you truly are, not someone else, don't be so full of pretense.

Contrary to Shakespeare's belief, life isn't always a stage and we aren't always actors.

But be who you are, and be proud of it.

God loves you just the way you are, right now.

Stand tall.

Know who you are, you don't need to fake it one bit.

You're an overcomer, you're more than a conqueror, you're anointed, you're strong inside and out, you're an energy pack ready to explode, you're you.

You'll never know, being you may just give others that extra push to be more than themselves.

Mental Picture of You

Listenting to : Good Life - One Republic

I totally know I shouldn't exclaim it out loud on avenues such as this...

But I do think of things way beyond my own capacity.

I admit that I dream dreams which are honestly way beyond my reach.

However, I love embracing hope and seeing them come to pass.

Even better, making them come to pass.

Certain things may seem impossible.

But this chase in life isn't. This chase isn't a waste.

If only the night of the 6th didn't happen, or differently in manner.

It would've been the good life.

CROSS-fit #3 Looking Up

Ever had instances in your life where things just SUCKED.

Like everything around you seems to be falling apart.

You can't seem to be proud of anything in your life and desires/passions simply leave your spirit.

Wherever you go, life just seems to be another slump.

It's human nature, when people get tired, they look down.

In the WOD, when you've spent almost all the energy you've got inside of you...

Their hands go to their knees, some even collapse and they all look down.

Maybe there're some biological reasons to that but to me, that's a clear sign of,

"I'm extremely down and out, I'm looking down, I need a long break".

Strangely, in the WOD, don't keep looking down.

Don't look down at the weights, they'll just discourage you, throw you off balance.

Don't look down at the puddle of sweat accumulating cause you've got a whole lot more in that tank of yours.

Don't look down upon yourself, cause You can do it, You were made to succeed.

Look up, look ahead, look forward.

(Apart from the real effects of opening your lungs and helps you breathe easier)

Sum up that courage inside of you. Being in self pity won't help you one bit.

Nobody is going to pick it up for you, telling yourself you can't, won't help at all.

Look up, be strong, be courageous.

"For God didn't give us a spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind."

When you're in the gutter, when you can't hold on no longer.

Don't look down for comfort, look up for strength.

Ps. Amazing effort from Camille today. Inspiring.

GE

Listening to : Turn Me On - Bruno Mars

I'm tired, I can't seem to study and that isn't pleasing at all.

Went to watch the rally today and well, was quite impressed to a certain extent.

But after a bit of thinking, I guess I need to weigh the claims made by the other parties as well.

For now, I'm quite at a standstill.

Gonna figure out my exams and all first, one more paper....

How irritating can this get!

Holiday plans are already underway, looking forward to summer!

On another note, I realized that in the past few months/years.

I've gotten really slack on one simple aspect of life.

Self-monitoring.

Gone were the days where I'll really spend time at night reflecting on how the day was.

What I could or could not have done to actually make it better.

How I'll be a better person tomorrow.

Whether I wasted time and could've spent it on something better.

Conversely, instead of self-monitoring, I've stepped up my emo level the past few months.

I've become subject to this sad reality of being 'human'.

I thought I was over that, that I was strong enough to hide emotions and move on aptly.

However, guess I'm not totally superman after all.

We all have weaknesses.

I just hope we don't have them exploited.

CROSS-fit #2 The Return

Listening to : Coming Home - Diddy Dirty Money

Ever wonder how it felt like? To be away from something for way too long.

To take a break from your usual habits which mean the World to you.

To be away from the box due to other commitments in your life.

When things eventually get cleared up, when you've finally got things back in order.

What will you do?

Stay away or come back? Wasn't this the love that you've always longed for?

Wasn't this the euphoric feeling that everyone yearns for?

Yesterday I made my return back to the box after a good 3 long weeks.

I was afraid, scared to a small extent but excited nonetheless.

I had wanted to go about doing my own regime, something different from others just because I had deemed myself as somewhat weaker now.

But no, it was straight to the prowl.

It made me think for a moment, what's up with that...

Don't they realize that I just got back.

Don't they realize that I'm not fit, I'm not ready for such a grueling WOD right away?

I was looking at the system, not the community.

Just as it's said, "Not my ways, but yours".

It was a truly tough going one, I fell and collapsed soon after then it hit me...

What matters is that when I walked in, people cared.

When I was lying on the floor after the WOD, feeling like I've been stabbed in the gut.

They welcomed me back.

No matter how 'unfit' you may be, you may be thrown right back into the game.

You wonder, "don't they realize that I just went to hell and back?"

But look around, they're still there for you, they're still there cheering you on.

Each step, of the way.

You may have been away for too long, away and distant from the true joys of life.

Even away from the one true meaning of life, God.

But come back, come back.

Cause no, they won't criticize, they won't judge.

Cause when you're on the floor after giving everything you've got,

What they'll say won't be, "you deserved it".

It'll be, "Welcome home."

God will say, "Welcome home."

CROSS-fit #1 The introduction

Listening to : Savior - Rise Against

I'm going to attempt to start this separate section to my blog.

Since I'm really gonna kick start this well, 'profession' of crossfit of mine.

I suppose I should start small, developing in a scene where mistakes can be freely made.

My blog. :)

So yes, here is essentially CROSSfit, Crossfit with a Christian perspective.

I do believe that crossfit has some tied down meaning with the cross.

(Even if there isn't I'll make one, vividly).

This is the ultimate goal for me, bringing fitness to people but the focus would be to help kids/youths/anyone out there lead a better life. Of course with biblical principals.

If you've got any inspirations, thoughts, comments, do post them up and leave a note.

(I'm getting the comments button fixed, if I can figure the HTML out of course...)

Gonna figure out how to archive certain things as well. I suppose I'll try to make it a weekly routine, maybe more frequently. But one things for sure.

It'll be, SHORT but CONCISE. With pictures and maybe vids.

But The focus will really be to link what we commonly do in life/workout/exercising and out mental state to how we should function in life as a Christian and as an individual.

So here's to the first edition! More to come. So stay tuned!

(After exams...)

5 minutes of perspective

Listening to : She ain't you - Chris Brown

This comes across as another 3 idiots moment similar to last semester I suppose.

It's somewhat a distraction I guess.

But I really want to make full use of life.

Don't want any part of it to slip away.

To get a grasp of it.

3 simple things.

Think I need to start rethinking certain strategies.

However, I know it's for the better, for greater, more positive change.

"I no longer choose to be right, I choose to be happy."

World

Listening to : Misery - Marron 5

Yeah, tonight is Maroon 5. Sadly, I'm missing it....

Mugging mugging.

However, one more week. Way too many things on my mind.

One thing is for sure, I won't allow my World to go around myself.

Not anymore...

On a different note, tonight isn't so fantastic cause the moment I got home...

I got sucked into watching the video 'Strangers Again'.

Yup, kill me now.

Apart from that, I'm trying my best to keep the focus on what matters this week.

Let's do this.

round-a-bout yet again...

Listening to : Freedom - Rage against the machine

I sincerely thought that things were getting better, on the rise...

It seems I'm wrong.

No matter how much encounters I get, I can't live on the memoryless principal.

God cleanses, forgives, forgets.

People don't...

Reality of life we all have to live with.

So take it and go.

The right fit...

Listening to : She Ain't You - Chris Brown

In the midst of this crazy insane period, I guess it'd only be appropriate to stop and take a chill pill.

It is Good Friday after all.

Or maybe I'm just being plain overconfident. Well, I have way too much to blog about.

A whole lot of drama has been repeatedly occuring and trust me, it's not to my liking.

However, some of which has been rather interesting though.

The whole N thing.

Well, I've been constantly looking up crossfit Lisbeth.

It's a simple blog but providing much perspective when it comes to crossfit and life.

It isn't very deep, nothing too comprehensive, but most of it is really true.

I'd really want to bring such messages across.

Essentially, she is doing what I wanna do but in the virtual form.

For me, I want to interact, I want to impact.

Sheesh but before doing any of that, it's time to really get back into the grind.

This exam period has been quite a drain for me. Emotionally, mentally and physically.

My body is suffering from the lack of WODs.

My mind is constantly being driven to it's utter boundaries computing tough equations and making full use of my analytical skills.

Thank God I've got a good calculator (Thanks mum for the cash)

Not forgetting the emotional barrage that is, waking up every morning knowing that it's the same process again and again.

Oh, who can leave out the occasional semi void I feel inside at times. Yes, add that to the list.

However, thankfully, it's coming to an end real soon. The thought of this semester just infuriates me.

Probably not too good in terms of performance but I think it went relatively well in terms of having a life.

Definitely couldn't have made it past a certain stage if it weren't for a few friends whom I have around me to constantly put up with all my thrash talking.

Ok, let me exclaim that.

THRASH TALKING. Thanks so much for bearing all of it...

Either way, it's back to the books now. I'm still finding whether the shoe fits, and whether this is the right path for me, the group, the friends, the choices....

No Count

Listening to : Knocking On Heavens Door - Avril Lavigne

What seems like a very trivial thing to many is actually quite a well, serious thing in real life.

The fact of 'cheating' in a WOD or in any aspect of life.

Often enough, we don't even know we're doing it wrongly or that it's wrong.

Therefore we need one real important person. The Sporter.

The one looking at you, watching your every movement and counting your score.

3,2,1 Go.

The WOD begins and it's really heavy with whatever movements you have.

5 minutes into it, you can't breathe properly and well, you begin to compromise on your movements. You begin to slump forward, rounding your back and not standing up straight.

Your sporter then says the worst 2 words that can come out of his mouth.

NO COUNT.

Right here, you can have 2 reactions, lash out at him and say that YOU DID IT CORRECTLY.

Or second, you can humble yourself, take the suck and start again.

Like what Coach K always says, trust the guy whose heart rate is not above 200 bpm.

Very often, almost 90% of the time, we think that we're doing it correctly but in actual fact, we're not, we're not doing the movements, we're not performing in life as we should.

You may be going through some tough times now.

Going through some real trials and undergoing some real tough 'workout'.

However, when you start to get tired, when you start to get a little weary, listen to that 'sporter'.

When he or she steps in to say, you're doing it wrongly, try again, restart.

Don't lash out and say, YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M GOING THROUGH.

Often enough, they do, and often enough, they're right.

Trust the fella who can think straight.

Cause at the end of the day, you don't wanna go all the way up to heaven to hear 2 words...

No Count...

YOU YES YOU.

This is a real stressful period, but I guess I shouldn't be overlooking the greatest things in life.

The friends that we have.

Not many, just a few.

:)

Gimme a break!

Listening to : Sweet Disposition - Temper Trap

I'm violating the small rule that I've set for myself to never blog in the school library.

It just feels sad doing so. However, it is futile effort to continue studying.

My brain has semi frozen over and has stopped working as of the past 20 minutes.

So here's me taking a small break.

Guess things have gotten a whole lot better. Like what some others have said.

The Up and Running attitude of mine seems to have disappeared.

Either way, things are getting better.

All for the right reasons this time.

Breakthrough came late last night, in the quiet cool of the night.

It was refreshing on many levels.

Yeah, I still do feel a little messed up but nothing I can't handle anymore.

However, during this period, I've become somewhat dependent on just a few friends.

So much so I think it's a bad thing.

Being independent and real is probably what got me thus far.

Being able to operate without many around but now.... I'm not too sure.

Then again, I'm really glad that there're those around me who truly care.

Care enough to inflict pain for my own good...

Either way, I'm not stopping, not now.

Come on, I can't get gassed in the last moment.

First summer

Listening to : Goodbye - Avril Lavigne.

The lack of sleep and the increase in stress is driving me pretty much nuts. I WANT A BREAK!

Besides that, I've got quite a whole string of activities lined up for the end of exams and commencement of my long awaited holidays.

Well, lets see....

I guess the aim of the entire summer vacation is really to get into gear of what I wanna do?

Everyone is doing internships etc etc and well, I guess I should be looking into areas like that.

Well, a few exciting things coming up! IN ORDER OF EXCITEMENT.

1) Crossfit Level 1 certification!

Totally want to get it done, kick start what dreams I can fulfill this year and those that are to come! Apart from that, I'm intending to hopefully get some coaching experience.

Guess as young imaginative varsity students, few of us are keen on starting and branching crossfit out to various schools and CCAs.

Wonder how that'll will work out, but the idea is still at hand is on the verge of growing!

So, yeah, I can't wait to do more in this area of my life!

Hopefully coach grants me an intern opportunity. I'm avidly looking for people/organizations to teach and help. This holidays will really open up much required time to source this out.

2) Higher Conference

Yeah, I guess this is something I really desperately need.

I know that in terms of level, I should be well, in the mindset of really giving in this conference.

Keyword used here is should.

I guess this time I really need to receive something strong from God.

I've been running away and adverting his presence for way too long.

3) Yoga classes

Don't laugh now, I really do wanna learn yoga.

No, I'm not gay, I just need to get more flexible.

A whole lot more flexible. But I guess I'm glad that others are willing to join me.

I'm literally going to force others to accompany me to it if nobody does!

Totally can't wait for a more graceful and flexible Lionel.

4) Friends....

Ok, this probably ranks higher than that of yoga but I'm slightly lazy to change the order.

So it seems I've been wasting too much time studying mugging and feeling all sucky about life.

Time for me to give back to others...

I have got to make time for those friends I've neglected for long time.

Time to start giving Bible studies and helping those who can't exactly help themselves.

Time to learn how to lead this new found team of mine. (That just reminds me of responsibilities that i have coming up, THIS WEEK)

Time to simply be there for people. :)

5) Tuition

Yeah, sounds like a total nerd, but I do wanna be better at giving tuition lessons to whomever who needs it. Guess there's just this burning passion to teach youths.

Yeah, though I hate superficial interaction, I know...

6) PARTY!

Enough said....

Much to do but honestly, still very little time. Guess all these are mapped out. I have to plan them out. For now.... don't be stupid, focus on your exams.

Getting into perspective

Listening to : You make me happy - Lindsey Ray

Time to stop being miserable and be awesome.

Can't believe I made such a Max statement. Either way, that's what I needa do.

Stop, just stop feeling like I've got no more juice left and actually get down to getting things better.

I know I can, I know I will. Eventually, I'm still the conqueror I've always been.

I just need to remember it. I know what to do, really..

But I just need a little push. So yeah, I'm trying real hard!

Things are gonna get better and I know it will!

Time to get my head in and know what really matters.

The World will not wait, I'm getting old and time to make the most of who I am.

Time for Lionel to really be Lionel and not some emo prick.

Can't believe I've been acting this way for the past few weeks.

Gosh, what an utterly sad state I was in....

EITHER WAY! Nothing is instantaneous.

But one thing is for sure, the decision to be stronger, better, greater!

I'm not denying my humane emotions and feelings, I'm just placing them in perspective. :)

2 more weeks to my exams, 4 more weeks to the end of it.

Let's do this...

1 year in crossfit

Listening to : Wolf Like Me - TV on the Radio

So it's been pretty much about one whole year since I've entered the sport of crossfit.

One full year of training in Crossfit Singapore alongside Coach Kevin and all the other peeps around. I'd like to think that we've come a long way, I've grown, not just physically but mentally as well. That I'm able to be more resilient in the tough things now.

Not gonna talk much about the physical training regimes but the whole general idea of crossfit, the culture that it brings.

Well, before crossfit, I've had such a long history of sporting background.

Ranging from Basketball back in High School, till Track and Field in Junior College days and even Ultimate Frisbee after I finished my army term.

All of them were amazing, all of them gave me something which really made me feel good about myself. However, something was significantly missing.

To a small extent, purpose...

I was missing that drive inside of me which well, like what i said before, keeps me going back again and again. I guess being in track developed my mind and physical attenuation towards short bursts of intense activity but I guess it really wasn't kicking it.

It was only when David posed a training regime for us to go to, crossfit. Ridiculous 90 bucks for 3 intro classes. I sincerely thought it was a big rip off.

All for frisbee fitness, well, let's give it a shot.

I went in to an industrial estate, expecting a huge gym but entered a small apartment tucked away admist roaring bikes. Huge tyres were littered all around the perimeter of the vicinity.

I really thought that it was a cheat session. Walking in, I was shocked, I saw bodies on the floor, struggling for some oxygen after an immensely tiring workout.

Thereafter, I was greeted by no one else but...

Coach Kevin.

Oh yes, I was afraid, the first thing he said was...

"Lionel, you're 30 minutes late, that sums up to 150 burpees, clear it later".

WHAT ON EARTH AM I IN FOR!?

So yes, the intro class went relatively well and surprisingly, whatever he taught was strongly advocated back in track days, basketball days and almost every aspect of training.

The movements were simple, the movements weren't very complicated but the movements were truly MOVEMENTS.

Going about doing them required much effort, even with an empty PVC bar.

After that first few intro class, I won't say I fell in love with crossfit straight away but it has left a long lasting impact on me.

I alternated between going for ultimate trainings in NUS and coming to the 'box' for WODs.

I was firstly very impressed by the knowledge of the athletes and CoachK, when I told them of my previous ailments and injuries, they immediately knew what was the cause of it.

I clearly remember my first few days.

It wasn't a scenario whereby nobody wanted to talk to me, I do my work out, you do yours.

Everyone kind of swarmed to me, teaching me the basics of the basics.

I clearly remember my first WOD.

10 minutes, As Many Rounds as possible,

7 Over head squats, 10 pushup, 15 air squats.

I used an empty bar, and I fell completely flat on the floor after it. It was my first real workout.

I couldn't breathe, my mind was going nuts, I wanted to puke and cry at the same time.

Strangely, in the midst of all that pain, I was insanely high as well.

MY GOODNESS! THIS CROSSFIT THING REALLY PACKED SOME KICK.

The community added to the flavor of the whole training idea.

So there and then, I moved on, no more ultimate. Crossfit....

Of course there're much deeper truths to the training regime, the technique, the form which cannot be properly explained here in words.

However, it was evident, it was clear, this provided me with that kick, it gave me what I desired.

To do something I never thought I could do...

However, like the other sports, it didn't have a purpose at that very moment.

That was when I spoke to coach one day, after an amazing mission trip to Kuching and learning of the cultural mandate in SOT.

I learnt of the true meaning of crossfit Singapore. The reason for existence. I guess I've said it way too many times but yeah...

It's about being fit, not on the outside, but in the inside and to bring that to those who can't help themselves. Simple as it seemed, it really made sense to me...

Apart from all the masculinity, it had a deeper meaning. I have never cared much about having a perfect body, only about being fit, pushing my limits and seeing how far I can go.

This was it...

I have to admit, crossfit has changed me considerably.

From what I have observed and noticed in the box, I'm not the only one who shares such sentiments. Many others also do. I guess it's this culture that we have created.

To care for one another and work out together. It isn't just like any other CCA.

The people are here cause they want to be here, they want to get better because they want to.

The size of the community has been growing ever since.

I'd like to think that what attracts the people is probably the testimonies of how crossfit has helped gotten everyone a whole lot fitter but what makes them stay is the culture.

Yeah, I know what's running through your mind, it's just like a cell group.

Yes it is, if someone comes to you and say you've got no time to commit, it's too time consuming.

Well, you're not being bought into a program, but into a lifestyle, regardless of what anyone says, this is how it is...

We've all grown, from the very first introductory class.

To the size we have now...

It's been a great year, it's been truly fruitful. The most recent tough WOD I did.

5 rounds of 160# thrusters (heavier than my body weight mind you) and Muscle Ups.

Never would I have thought I'd be doing things like these...

if I can, you can, they can.

Looking forward to many more years to come and much more growth as an athlete and individual.

Pushing your limits?

Listening to : Fight and Kiss - We are wolves

Pushing it to the limit and breaking it, something we commonly say and throw around way too easily. Going all out, giving your all every single time in every WOD and activity.

Well, I'm sorry to burst your bubble, don't think that's really feesible and possible.

Quite a chore if I may add.

We all have a limit in our mind, body and even in our soul.

I have to admit, the limit is there for a real logical reason. Pushing it is great.

Getting that high from doing something you've never done before, emerging victorious every single time, it feels great. Achieving something you never thought you could.

However, there's a fine fine line between pushing your limit and killing yourself one bit at a time.

Crossfit boasts intensity, pushing your heart, lungs, muscles, body to it's boundaries in a short span of time. Basically, carrying out immense work capacity.

I have no doubt that it is effective in getting you places, it's the intensity in our lives which eventually drives us to greater heights.

Take what Pastor Kong said yesterday, in trials and tribulations, grace abounds. Intense bursts of testings, difficulties is a tested and proven way of growing as a person and in GOD.

However, prolonged intensity, prolonged pushing, extended periods of immense stress takes it's toll on people. Eventually, it drives people insane, it drives people up the wall and ultimately, away from the sole reason why someone actually does it to begin with.

Before you push the limit, in the midst of the heat and tension, in the sweat and tears, you need to have this bugging thought in your mind, why you're in it.

Why you do what you're doing, why do you keep going back again and again despite the hell that you go through.

If you can't verbalize it, if you can't piece things together in your head, then perhaps, you should evaluate some stuff in your life.

Taking a break may be the best thing you could do right now. Taking a step back and breathing may be the smartest decision in your life. Evaluate yourself.

Something I learnt from well crossfit as well. Verbal cues.

Whenever I'm down and out, whenever the heat gets turned on, whenever I wanna give up.

These 3 words come to my mind. And I tell myself that, every single time.

"Believe and Conquer".

A small extract from crossfit HQ, when you train the beginners, when you're teaching them simple movement, don't complicate things, don't throw in big bombastic jargons.

In every aspect, we as humans LOVE to complicate simple logic (explains Sociology)

So as we teach them the push jerk, we don't tell them so many things at once.

Of course there're a thousand and one aspects of it.

Get your head through your arms (window), knees out, back engaged, tighten your core, drive your heels into the ground, keep your head straight.

The list just goes on and on and on.

However, one phrase which others have commonly advocated easily condenses everything into 3 simple words. "Dip and Drive".

When you tell them to perform that motion, you tell them to dip and drive.

What happens thereafter? Well, they dip and drive!

It's a simple logic, coming from within you, you don't exactly need much external voices to keep bugging you to dip and drive, to look ahead and not back, to be an overcomer.

You need to find that phrase.

Fine that revelation for your life, that simple 3 words, that simple phrase.

"I can do all things"

"Nothing is Impossible"

"With God, all things are possible"

This applies to not just crossfit, not just fitness but in every aspect of life.

When you're head is down on the floor, tears filling your eyebags, no longer have sufficient strength to lift your head. Those few words are perhaps all you've got.

I learnt something valuable from a friend yesterday.

No matter what we say, no matter what we do, we are all alone.

Yeah, I know, everyone can say that they've got their buddies beside them etc.

But no, at the end of the day, in the quietness of the night, we are all alone.

What is helping you stand? What is causing you keep pushing that limit you always want to?

For the sake of others?

For the simple joy of doing what you're doing? To be a better person?

Keep pushing, keep focused.

"Believe and Conquer".

Cause I'm with you in it!

Dumb Dogs...

Listening to : Goodbye - Avril Lavigne

It's 330 in the morning, I'm tired, exhausted but feeling quite accomplished for doing quite a bit of work today. Not too impressed with my emotions on the other hand.

I wish i could blabber everything out here without being aptly judged.

However, in the sad sad world we live in, kindness isn't easily spared is it?

So censor we shall. My eyes were somewhat opened yesterday to well, something pretty amazing.

So much so I really couldn't think straight, I wasn't rational at all.

Being around my friends didn't help at all. Nothing could distract me from it.

Wow, I guess it was something I knew I could do, I knew I can achieve!

But then again, there're a thousand and one things which can mess things up.

Implications implications implications....

I wish it would all go away in a simple small way.

The past few days must have been quit a living hell for you, yeah, best friend.

I can't say that I've been through what you've been through.

I can say that well, I've felt alone before, felt like no one cares to a large extent.

Well, people do. I do! And as much as I can, I'll always be there.

I don't need too many fanciful things, I don't need that many people around.

Just a few and to that few, I treasure a whole lot.

Take the day off, look around, smile to yourself, enjoy life.

Be contented.

Apart from exams, I still need a little bit of sorting out to do...

Ok maybe a little is a small understatement.

Can't I just stay put for once, mind don't wander will you!?

Moving on, this is life isn't it?

Looking ahead, creating chances.

Haha, and yes, I'll wait for the dog to finish Peeing, Kay?