Young once only

Listening to : Summer hair forever young - The Acedemy is

My leg, is dying...
Literally. There're cuts and blisters and everything everywhere.
All cause of the boots and everything. Cause mine is so new, it is SO hard.
Thus it keeps cutting into my legs!! I so want to change the boots to an older pair! Well, for now its all suck thumb.
All the pain for the next 3 weeks and then we are FREE!! Commissioning is really just around the corner. Oh man!
SAFTI also feels really freaky compared to AFS.
Honestly, AFS was like the best it could ever get. Close to no regimentation.
Safti on the other hand. I'm waiting to die. Die a slow and painful death!

Just a little more

Listening to : The Saddest Song - The Ataris

Its been close to a year since i've first heard this song. Yup.
I guess it has stuck with me throughout cause it really does remind me alot of school and studing and basically enjoying life.
Maybe wondering why life ain't great now, cause of Army.
However, i'm really at the tail end of everything. In a few hours, i'm going to be given my brevet and my sword. That to me is quite big stuff man.
In 3 weeks i'll be commissioning. I know i say this all the time but....
It really is THIS close.
Its been such a long long painful wait.
As for now, gotta catch up with most of the juniors whom i haven't spoke to for a while. Yup. they're all great people. Yes they are. HAHA!

The world in your hands

Listening to : CCC

So it seems tha this whole week was more eventful than i thought it would be.
Meeting up with juniors feels great. Maybe it makes me feel like I'm young in school days again. Or maybe cause i really love hanging out with them.
A few friends to me are really important. The whole bunch of them are to me.
So thank god for them and hope they all do well for their exams and all.

However, the most impactful thing would really be the coming Asia Conference.
I'm really sad i can't go for alot of them.
However, i really can't wait to go for those that I can.
This will really change the entire Asia and most importantly the lives of my family. When the miracle occurs, when it actually happens for ging ging, the family will come to believe, then the entire household will be saved.
The entire household of the Choong. I really want that to come to past.
Little can describe how much I want to attend this.
To really impact the culture and be a person of good ethics based on my Faith.

The recent Hitler trial actually raised up many questions which were not answered. Or rather, too grey to be answered.
One of them was the seperation of Morals and leadership.
Also, can morals really be clearly defined?
It isn't as simple as how I put it " Would you kill your grandparents if ordered".
Though its a really good point, and i'm honestly shocked how I managed to say it out. However, it really is too general a statement.
However, to me personally, what determines moral or not, it isn't simply about whether its right or wrong. However, whether something God would call me to do.
I gotta admit, as flakey as it sounds. It really is true.
It doesn't cross my mind often but when really button press i gotta do something i dun wanna do. I'm really going to fall back to that.
Now this Asia conference will help to determine all this.
How we live our lives out for the good of the people and God.
It'll be a time when i think i'll be refreshed. Yes it is. and i believe so.

Make me laugh

Listening to : Hate that I Love you so - Rihanna

So it seems that it is indeed our last week in air force school.
Its been rather eventful actually. hmmm.
Ok maybe not, rather UNeventful. Cause of the CAF interaction and all.
So its alot alot of work.
However, it was interesting when he brought up 2 points of the whole dialogue.

When he said that the culture in Singapore and USA is really different.
If nobody calls you shit-hot in the US, means you're really Dog-shit.
However, If nobody calls you Dog-shit in Singapore, means you're really Shit-hot.
Well, If you get the entire statement, i really find it very very true.
Why are we living in such a sad sad culture.
Where the whole country revolves around punishment, scolding and mere fear.
Not to say it ain't good, don't get me wrong. Its brought us this far and its awesome. However, it really is demoralising for one to constantly be scolded.
If thats what it takes to be the best, i rather not.

Another point he raised was that, in the military or any real organisation,
Your closest person really is your buddy.
When button press, it really is the person beside you you're going to protect.
Also, Don't bother counting loose change and have simple little issues come between each other.
When it really all boils down, will you let the person beside you die cause he didn't pay you 50 cents? Its sad.
SO yes, friendships are important, that I know now.

Therefore!!!!! I have decided to really take all the time i have to give back.
To try to help others where i see possible. To really spend time with those I love.
Ultimately, its really each other we've got when the economy does fail.
Its them i'm protecting everytime I land an aircraft on that runway.

Also, the trial on Hitler went on reasonably well.
Though i lost, yes i know its embarassing. I think I proved the point.
I dunno, but i enjoyed it. I didn't like preparing but i liked just shooting someone down with words sometimes.
However, there were certain things which i said out and i really meant.
Things such as morality and leadership. They can't really be seperated can they?
Oh yes, lastly, i got Cert of Merit, don't ask me how cause i have NO IDEA!!
but either way....
PRAISE GOD!!!!!!!!

good bad and simply indulge

Listening to : Angel - Natasha Bedingfield

So maybe the whole system ain't that bad after all.
Yes i'm out of camp. AGAIN! This was rather unexpected. I mean, i thought yesterday was all i got. However, i'm surprised yet again.
So what did i just do? Relive the harsh times of JC days.
HAHA! Yes i did, i went to run. And its pouring like never before.
So yes, i was able to maintain. I'm surprised.
However, i'm one tired idiot now. Maybe i'll fall sick. Hmmm.
Should i fall sick? Ok, i make it sound like its my choice.
Anyway, its kinda sad, alvan is leaving for brunei. Hope he'll do alright over there. Also, We're leaving air force school really soon.
Just when i found out how to go home. (BTW, i took a bus)
Those wo know me well will pat me in the back and say good job.
HAHA! Can't wait for this weekend. I'm exhausted as hell. However, i just look forward to leaning my head on Shiming. AWWW.

viva

Listening to : Coldplay

I am a coldplay fan. Yes i am. First it was yellow. then fix you. now viva la vida.
It isn't normal for me to be stuck on a song for so long.
Normally its just like 2 to 3 weeks before i get over it.
However, every every EVERY coldplay song, i'll take it for 3 months minimum.
For one, between muse and coldplay. Its coldplay man.
This is random i know. But i spent like an hour plus watching coldplay performances online. So yes i am a fanatic.
Who goes up there and sings a song in such perfect form.
Who swings a bright ball when its reaching the climax and EVERYONE goes mad. I really think they are really great performers.
Next time they come, i'm going to their concert. For SURE!
I know many people will follow me for such a concert.
it isn't simply emo, its awesome.
I mean, who sings "when you try your best and don't succeed" in such awesome tune. Oh gosh. OK! Enough rattling on Coldplay

So its not the integrated term. I'm supposed to be in soon.
So its rather sian. However, its all coming to an end.
It really is, I'm both excited and scared for it.
I know we'll suffer big time in joint term. But who cares. I'm up for it.
Camp life is getting by alright.
All that i want to do now, is to really get my gold bar.
AHHH!!! Coldplay craze. Indulge me in this one post.

gets better

Listening to : Dark Blue - Jacks Mannequin

I do wonder at times. how good can this get?
Life now is too good to be true. Last week was honestly great and I loved it.
Now this week is feeling BETTER! Haha! Yesterday stay out and today off at 2??
This feels like the life. Honestly. However, i'm afriad of joint term.
Yes its the time when i will DIE. Badly. VERY BADLY!
Other than that, I think i'll be quite satisfied with where i am now.
Also, there has been hints i'm going to PLAB. WOOOO!!!!
OH OH OH YEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!
I have always told everyone, i can endure ANYTHING you throw at me.
I JUST WANNA GO HOME AT THE END OF THE DAY!
So for PLAB, thats the case!
So i'm honestly looking forward to commissioning.
However, in two weeks....
" We come from OCS, we are the very best, living with dignity and pride..."
I hope i survive. haha! Loving it every one bit!

colour

Listening to : With or without you - U2

Well, due to the many comments about well, the colour of the text, i've decided to change it.
Well, its the start of arise and build. I'm at home, resting up and recovering from flu.
However, couldn't really help but to go down to the morning prayer meeting.
Wow, i was blown away by it, i really think that if i were to go everyday, i'll be so much happier.
Too bad i'm in NS and all. Oh well, next time i hope they start this again.
Today was rather UNEVVENTFUL. However, i'm quite happy leading a rather simple life kinda thing. I dunno why myself.
Like with just shiming studying at my house and me watching vcds and sleeping. I guess with shiming watching me blog, its funny.
SO YES! I will stop now. BACK TO CAMP TOMORROW!!!
Joint term in 3 weeks. WOOOO!!

Hair~~~~

Listening to : Summer hair forever young - The Academy is...

Well, the possible thought of responsibility on me again seems strange.
I dunno. I guess its been THAT long since i've been engaged in anything REAL.
Before, i took things rather lightly.
I guess its the army. Now that i'm a 'trained controller'
The thought of being put in position of a 'leader' is kinda scary.
Not that I doubt myself but its really alot of responsibility.
If u crash a plane, its your fault. So if someone leaves, its your fault. If something goes wrong in hall, its your fault.
I never thought of it this way before i left. Maybe thats why i was THAT carefree
Now its a totally different ball game. If i'm ever going to do this properly,
I think i'll do it REALLY well. No mess ups and no accepting what i cannot do.
I think its just that i don't want them to end up wrong.
Sometimes i also wonder why so much responsibility is placed on me, i mean, i know i've messed up more than enough times.
Its quite nice to know that someone still thinks u still got it in you.

Anyway, its time for me to sleep. I'm so so tired.
i think its cause of the flu. Gonna see a doc tomorrow for 3 sickness.
sounds bad eh. Yes it is. Oh god i wanna die, theres still hitlers idiotic case.
Why can't he just die!!!!
Wait he already did. A sad one too...

Stay out

Listening to : I believe in a thing called love - The Darkness

If you thought that possibly, just possibly, you'll get bored of staying out. Like don't need to stay in camp overnight. THINK TWICE!
This whole week i only stayed in for one night. Honestly, this week is the BEST week of my whole NS life. It really is. It really just refreshed everything.
I was able to stay out everyday, so everynight was really full of something.
Tuesday met up with sean and mark for prata. But was stay in camp.
Then Wednesday had EOC dinner and stay out, so went to play a little bit after dinner. Heh, was really a hell of a time.
Then thursday night went to meet sm and cause stay out, went to timbre with Mark and GOODFELLAS were playing! Awesome!
Though i think i'm really running low on fuel in terms of sleeping. I've never had so much fun in quite a long time. Then today was the halloween party.
WOW! I'm blown away by it. If this could happen everyweek, i'll sign on.

Anyway, some sad news, VAMSEE IS GONE! He's our indian transfer student for our aerodrome course. Honestly, i never really got to know him till the end.
He was a really genuine and nice man. I'm so honoured to have met him.
He said something towards the end of the dinner which really really touched my heart. he said that " I think its an art for you Singaporeans but You all were able to make me forget my home". I was honestly touched by that.
Wasn't expecting that at all. However, i'm sure we may not miss him now, but soon we will. We taught him so much i think he's one of us now.
Not only that, the officers on course are gone. They're like one of the best people around. They made the whole Aerodrome course bearable. They made the whole NS idea fun with so many activities.
They're really nice people and i will do all i can never to lose contact.

Other than that, time for me to sleep.
Tired, going to RS tomorrow i think. HAHA!

SAI KANG!

Listening to : Other side of the world - KT Tunstall

So begins the life of a slack officer.
or rather, glimpses of it! Now that the course is over, life is good.
Seriously, nights out every night and doing almost nothing in camo everyday.
What more can you ask, seriously.
Well. I'm honestly not complaining. I'm quite enjoying it. Though there's always SAI KANG TO DO! Which is a total waste of time.
Some things are worth doing, others are a mere waste of time.
Good example would be things like Vamsee's farewell would be great.
However, doing research on Hitler isn't the most fun thing to do.
I would rather just kick back and relax and sail my way through the next 3 weeks. I am just waiting for posting! COME ON PLAB!
However, one good thing that came out of researching Hitler is that he's really an evil man. I mean, i know how evil can evil get. However, he's for real.
Which is honestly rather disturbing. How can someone so warped exist!?

Besides the point, Halloween is coming. I honestly don't make much of it.
However, this year theres a party! My Cell group is organising some big thing.
So everyone is gonna dress up and all. It sounds good eh.
It'll be fun, any takers? WOOO!
Also, if u haven't watched tropic thunder. Please watch it.
Hmmm, many MANY people have said i'm rather shallow for saying its nice.
WHO CARES! I think its a great movie, its really a great laugh! haha.
Anyway, time for EOC dinner! Time to emcee!

Ties

Listening to : Worthy - CCC

Today was a rather interesting day.
Woke up really really early to meet mark for breakfast.
I'm amazed we were both able to wake up this early actually. Yeah, so ate macs.
However, the interesting things was at night.
We had a meeting with the cousins, well, a rather well planned one.
Cause one of them is getting married, so yeah, one outing before the day itself.
This is what was sent in the mail.
***Special note to Wayne and Lionel - you guys better come fellowship ... more and more of your cousins are being harvested. Lionel, bring your gf if she's free.
I was rather shocked by it. So in the end, we went. How not to after we PANG so often and when its explicitly said to everyone.
In the end, i really had quite alot of fun with them.
Its really rare that i talk to my cousins, the ties are actually forming.
I guess its cause of them coming to church and all. In fact one of them told me, I never had a proper conversation with you before.
Yes, thats how distant i am from them. However, now its really different.
I'm happy when i'm with them, before it was very tensioned.
Now we talk about church and it just flows easily.
Also, its nice to know that your family has got ur backing at some times.
I'm understanding the importance of family ties now.
I'm a really blessed boy. Yes i am, other than the occassional troubles i have.
I'm really blessed to have great people around me. Cause even when times start to suck, i know i'll be able to pull thru with my family and friends help. Yup. :)

Threshold

Listening to : Break Me Down - CCC

I see the world in a rather different way now.
I guess circumstances really influence the way we look at things.
For me, i've just completed my last ever assessment for Aerodrome training.
SO basically, i can control. the sermon on how our words affect our lives was so good.
I remember speaking out on the tower, "I AM AN ATC CONTROLLER".
I felt really confident for some reason. In fact, they commented, my speech was the most confident of all and i enjoyed controlling.
Yeah, I'm really thankful for being able to make it out of the course.
I really thank god for that. It has really been hell hell crazy.
Like really insane tough, enduring real personal attacks and ALOT of rubbish.
I have to admit, there were times i really didn't believe in myself.
Like how shiming says it, I've changed my perspective of many things.
I used to be complaining all the time. But somehow, when i tried to start enjoying it and when i started to think positive it all kinda worked out.
I just wonder how it'll be when I COMMISSION!!! WOOO!!
now i'm researching on Hitler for some CAF interaction, good stuff.
I'm actually learning alot from it. Yeah I am. Surprised I actually am bothered about something related to NS eh.
Think the whole Aerodrome course made me think and move beyond my comfort zone. I pushed the threshold for taking stress for sure.
To talk and hear and look at the same time really stretches you. A new depth of focus and concentration is reached. I hope this benefits me in future.
So yes, ushering seems alot easier, multi-tasking is a piece of cake and study stresses can be overcome!

On another note, I remember in A levels, how stressed I was.
However, EVERYONE around me is like really dying in terms of stress.
Yes they are, I dunno why myself. Some people whom i thought could cope with such stress just couldn't. They're really affected by it.
I said how thresholds can be pushed. And yes, you push it by pushing yourself.
However, there is a limit to how much u can push it. Just like running, theres a fine line to pushing to go faster and well dying.
I admit it takes alot of conditioning, i'm happy i went thorugh A levels cause if i didn't, i think i would have died in Aerodrome training and well wouldn't have succeeded.
Guess for alot of them now, they ain't enjoying what they're doing.
I guess how i did well in A's was cause of my class.
I have toreally thank them. I clearly remember how we would just have fun studying.
Studying is never fun, don't get me wrong. But its how you study.
Every 5 min, there'll be a good refreshing joke. So after every math qn, something just refreshes you. Thats why i never really was affected by the stress.
The company of shiming and alvan in macs also made it real fun.
The occasional night supper with mark spiced things up.
I really am thankful for those times, thats why my A level period wasn't the toughest but maybe one of the best. Yup.
So those mugging really hard for A's or any exam, DON'T GIVE UP!
Don't be so stress, remember they're people arnd you and remember to like what you're doing!

Step up

Listening to : Miss Independent - Neyo

The only thing running through my whole mind for the whole week is honestly the LAST WEEK of training.
Its been SUCH a long time, its finally here. this week determines whether i make it or break it.
I know i can. Actually I've really been quite impacted by sermon yesterday.
No wonder it was a triple pack.
The whole idea of speaking it out and confessing it again and again.
I know i can control. I know i can deconflict two aircrafts coming in for landing.
I know I can do well for my assessment. I know, can and WILL COMMISSION!
I believe so and I guess God will make a way when there really is no way!
Its been a long time but i stayed home to nua today. Not really nua but to 'study' with shiming.
Actually, i've really come to treasure all my friends. My class is really the best you could ask for.
I don't care if they're too clingy or anything. but i honestly wouldn't give them up for any other uni friends.
Now we're all in army, its quite a strange feeling I guess.
On another note. Tropic thunder was by far one of the funniest movies i've ever watched. Like really, if you're a guy, GO WATCH IT!!!

More time required

Listening to : Sunday Morning - Maroon 5

Yes, it is sunday morning! And sadly, the rain ain't falling.
Well, i'm actually quite happy i took leave on friday.
Yes i am. Well, cause of the various things we did.
I think this sudden break was actually a good opportunity to catch up with some ppl.
Also, good time for me to spend it with my dearest.
Friday I crashed NUS. Haha, it was like a familiar feeling.
Cause if you read the posts like two or three years ago, i would be saying abt the same thing.
How i crashed NUS. This time for my gf.
Actually, I tried to study in the library which i thought was ok.
Until I went to lecture. OH GOD! I never knew it could be this boring. ANYWAY!
In the end, the whole day was quite fun.
Cause managed to meet kian fat for lunch. Well, no amelia but guess its ok.
Thereafter we went to eat manhattans fsh mkt. Honestly, it rocks.
Maybe, just maybe it owns fish and co. I dunno, but! I would choose ambience over taste.
Then met the feline at timbre.
MAYBE its just me but i've become a relatively big fan of timbre.
Drinks are ex, but food and music is awesome.
I love it man.
Also, been so long since 4 of us went out.
Then saturday was spent mostly with the guys.
Yeah, a fulfilling week for me actually. Sadly, 2moro is book in early week.
I dunno why myself. I think its dumb.
Anyway, i'm still looking forward to the end.
Its really in sight, just 1 1/2 weeks to go.
The past 7 months was challenging, but i think when i comission, tears may really flow.
So emo right? Anyway. gtg sleep.

2 and running

Listening to : Starlight - Muse

This does bring back memories.
Yes it does, yesterday, me and sm just celebrated our 2 year anni.
Honestly, i think i surprised her quite well, never have i done such wide scale planning before.
However, i'm just happy we both enjoyed ourselves.
Time does fly, its been a good 2 years. It really has.
In fact. I'm really happy we've been together for so long.
I guess its just us but we're a little different.
Normallys its the longer you're together the less sticky you get.
However, the longer we get, the more sticky we get. I dunno why.
I know alot of ppl are annoyed cause of that. WOOOO!

Anyway, today I specially took leave for this, so i'm gonna head to NUS to study today.
EXAM on MONDAY! Fail then OOC.
So ya, this period is really high tension for everyone i guess.
Its even graduation day for the J2s.
I guess i'm overaged for this but i'm rather sticky to the trackers.
three weeks to their exam and three weeks to my end of course.
SO FAST!! Its like 8-9 more weeks to the gold bar.
My NS time is flying by. Honestly, now that i look back.
Things aren't as bad now, think this is cause of some ppl in the course.
Some great ppl, some really REALLY strange.
Ok ok, gonna head to NUS now. YAY

future awaits

Listening to : What Sarah Said : Death Cab For Cutie

Ever wonder what you'll REALLY do in the future?
I mean, like what we'll be...
Some of us will be doctors, pilots, teachers, engineers, businessman.
I'm confused and at the same time worried for it.
I'm now 19 years old, i don't really know what i wanna do.
I honestly blame it on the A levels.
Daniel stayed over at my house yesterday.
What a nostalgic thing to do eh. 19 year old army men sleeping in the same room.
As corny as it sounds, i think its alright.
We were talking about how we're all getting old. Like really OLD.
Maybe its time to stop it. Can u imagine your dad inviting a friend to sleepover...
Ya, same concept. Thats why, I don't really wanna grow up.
Thats besides the point, we were talking about how life will be when we're in uni, when we're working.
It'll be good and bad that we all won't be as tight anymore.
Of course, we talked about the future.
I was SUPPOSED to be the teacher I always wanted to be. Or rather was called to be.
To teach the young kids of our generation, impact life kinda thing.
Pursue the real passion of physics and teaching and sports.
being a teacher and a coach for track or basketball at the same time.
Guess that won't REALLY materialize.
The whole world except the few who really know me tell me,
Take LAW, BIZZ, MEDICINE! Go OVERSEAS to study at oxford!
Impact the MARKETPLACE by being really successfull!
I know all of that is good. I do know. But that isn't what i wanna do.
Until daniel said something quite simple but quite true.
Just keep doing what you're doing, God will speak to you soon.
Yup, just keep doing what i'm doing, to the best I can.
Heh, even though its controlling, I am trying my best. Or rather I will.
On a side note, I WILL be a teacher at least once in my life.
FYI, the current dream is to go out to work first, go get rich by helping a large engineering / Manufacturing Company by managing some big project like the next flyer. Then go hopefully find some real clean energy and make ironman with it. Lastly, when i'm really rich enough, build a school in cooperation with CHC.
Ain't that a dream....

Iron man

listening to : Hotel California - Eagles

A few weeks ago was actually the Beijing olympics.
Then I saw what i considered the near perfection of human speed.
Yup, so that was the SUPERMAN of speed.
However, today, on tv I saw amazing speed. Not only that, the sound of it was really screeching.
However, Unlike many others, including my father, I actually like that sound.
I dunno why myself but its really a sound of speed to me.
The past 3 days was something like an IRONMAN of speed.
F1 FTW.

On a seperate note, Things area getting along just fine.
I've never been happier in such a long time.
Yes i am. I dunno why myself. Gues of the initiated change and this weekend.
The fact that it is NOW and like EVERYTHING is pointing to that.
Yes I think it'll be right NOW.

It was also the 1st time shiming drove me in her dads car.
Honestly, I love to be driven around. Thus it was a real treat to be driven around by my girl.
Yes there were others around and we did get lost THREE times.
However, I think it was a great experience for me.
Going around the whole singapore from the zoo to cathay to serangoon.
Things were great. Heh, I realise we don't exactly need to be ALONE all the time.
Things have changed i guess.

What now?

Listening to : So What -Pink

Yesterday was quite a moment to remember.
For me at least. We had the 1st edge meeting.
Yes, it was awesome. I haven't said that in a long time.
But yes, it was awesome, but the best would be the question.
What about now?
The past was great! Like really really awesome fun.
But what about now?
It just got me thinking a little.
I wanna live for the moment. Live for the present and future.
Not for the past. I'm gonna make most of it all.
Thats why everything seems to have changed a little.
Like,i realised. WHAT HAVE I BEEN DOING!
Other than that, I'm quite happy still.
Meeting up with the class was rather chill. Fun.
I'm gonna try to meet them like once a week?
Haha, guess its not just me who is thinkin the sam thing about social circles.
They're great ppl.
For me, I guess i haven't really realised it till now. But my cg is awesome.
Yeah, i dunno, they're fun ppl, they're encouraging.
Thats why i wanna stay with them. Yes i do.

Running to win

Listening to : Crushcrushcrush - Paramore

Its been quite a weekend. I have to admit, it has been quite eventful.
Both fun and at the same time really tiring.
I guess the highlight everytime i'm out is really to unwind and have fun.
I always hate the feeling of booking in and also to just await scoldings.
Well, for now, I'm quite determined to do my best to get things right.
Heh. Honestly, I'm quite burnt out.
9 more painful weeks. AHHH!
At least it is now single digit.
I can do it!!!!