biting dust and SPITTING IT OUT!

Listening to : TGIF - Katy Perry

ANOTHER ONE BITES THE DUST.

I'm taking it rather better than I expected.

Guess I really have to learn to pick myself up after a defeat.
Especially when it's one straight to the heart.

It does suck in a certain way.

However, I gotta remember a simple fact....

I've been a victor SO MANY TIMES. One hit won't make a difference.

What matters now is that I continue working hard.

Learning from the mistakes......

Most importantly, getting myself back into full steam.

It's like the pump up right before the WOD.

And when it actually starts, you don't feel as 100%.

You don't stop, you plough your way through!!

So....

THIS IS HOW IT'S GOING TO ROLL.

So if this is how things are going to be....

Then I'm so going into overdrive real soon.

Things can be alot easier if I just take a back seat....

BUT MAN I AIN'T BACKING DOWN JUST YET.

It's been so long since I felt this way...

Feels like I'm a small school kid again brooding over the smallest of mistakes.

Oh brings me back to the days.....

Gotta strike a balance. Can't be too bothered if I don't make it.

But at the same time, not the person to give in to mediocrity.

So I'm going to work hard.... and smart.

I just hope I don't burn out.....

Anyway, I like one of the phrases quoted by a friend.....

"I'm just like David and Goliath! The giant is straight ahead and I'm ready to slay him! Just that I don't have stones just yet... just sand. BUT DON'T WORRY! This David is molding it together!! Just you wait!!!"

May appear tired just like this but.........

I'VE GOT MUCH MORE INSIDE!

biggerrrr!

Listening to : Modern Drummer - Ungdomskulen

So I'm beginning to lost it.

I'm pulling my hair, yanking my brain, torching myself, confused as ever!

Ok, I'm stressed. Yes, I'm rather VERY STRESSED!

I'm honest about it, I swear, NUS is taking the life out of me. If I had the option, I'll redo army....

Ok on second thoughts, maybe not.

Well, life hasn't been too kind honestly.

Still have yet to get some clear direction in NUS.

It's becoming more and more of a blur... honestly.

However, certain things are being more and more firm in my life.

Maybe I'm not made to be this stressed out.

I'm probably doing something wrong here. Perhaps even focusing on the wrong things.

Which may seem so prudent and obvious, I may just be looking at a totally wrong direction.

Am I to be an advocate of a workaholic?

I used to be so certain and sure that I am one and my successes have been because of it.

But well, the methods have to change it seems.

Everyone here is giving their 101% and don't seem to get tired.

It's time to play a different ball game.

I initially thought that enforcing a sabbath day for myself was sufficient.

Looks like that ain't enough.

It's easy to fall into a natural pathway, it's easy to give in to stress..

Unless we actually do something about it, I think we are all going to fall into depression....

REALLY!

Anything left by itself without any external forces acting on it will soon erode.

Time to get our mindsets constantly altered....

Which then makes sense....

When we begin to set our mind on what the spirit desires...

Now I know what it means when I received that fateful revelation.

That walking the path, following the perfect will...

Is far from easy.

Is far from an array of distractions which come in really massive ways.

Think it's time to put a VERY BIG signpost in my head.

"DON'T GIVE IN"

From the simplest of simple, to the toughest of tough.

I just need to always wake up, remembering those few words.

Gosh.... I've really forgotten some great habits....

What happened to the "I'm gonna make it!", "I'm so gonna get 5.0!".

Need more of that in my life....

Crossfit, bringing the cross to fitness....

Just something I thought of the past few days....

Hmph, I really have to do something about it.... I want to!

It represents so much more than a gym.

Well, it's about making the lives of others better....

Advocating the cultural mandate...

One day...

New dreams are arising.

"BIG IS NOT STRONG, STRONG IS STRONG!"

Time for CHANGE!

Listening to : If we ever meet again - Timbaland ft Katy Perry

I'm just really relieved that the week of 'break' is here. I'm gonna try to make full use of it!!!

Of which, I don't have much mapped out.

But I really do wanna catch up BIG time on my work and tutorials etc.

Extremely lagging in terms of academic statures.
Well, I don't have much planned out this week. but well, I've only have 2 nights taken away.

Ie. Tuesday and Thursday.

Other than that, I'm totally good to gooo!!!!

Trying my best to keep focused and not be so easily distracted.

But gosh, there're a thousand and one things which I so wanna do this week.

Well, I don't have MUCH choice do I? So I'm just gonna be the plain old man and stick to the program.

Study and more studying.

PS. IT IS TIME FOR CHANGE!!!!

mugger society

Listening to : ACDC Album

Well, it has come to this.

Blogging in the middle of NUS central library. Has this become my home?

I really do hope I begin to actually have a life after this sem.

Well, they all say that the first year and first sem is the toughest.

Hope that it's true. And everything else will just be a breeze....

Ok, fat hope!!!

Either way, I'm really glad that right now, I've got time on my hands.

I'm slightly lagging in terms of work. But it's ok I suppose.

I need some air time to breathe and take a short break.

Cause I'm literally struggling to survive here.

So pace is the most important! Just completed my first mid term test.

Taking a short break. But everyone all around me is mugging.

Alright Lionel, succumb to pear pressure....

TIME TO MUG!!!

REORDER

Listening to : Monster - Professor Green

Well, I can't begin to explain how things have been going. Gosh....

When I think about what I can blog or rather the various thoughts that I usually have.

Sadly, I realized I don't have much. Hmmm, guess you can say that things have been under control?

Things have been really going the way they should be.

Or rather, maybe things are just getting really really boring.

I wish I had a thousand and one things to say and thoughts to go through.

Yes I do, But guess it'll be too boring for a blog like this.

Man... Has life really reduced to such a state after coming to NUS?

There HAS to be a whole lot more than this. I hate it when I'm put under strict scrutinized observation.

It's like I have no choice to begin with. Or rather, I have no way out at all.

This wasn't the way things should be even after SOT.

I should be living with so much more purpose and vision.

Basically, something is VASTLY WRONG! Maybe it's my priorities.

Maybe it's really something else. Maybe it's like i'm supposed to do so much more...

So what is it??

Someone hit me with a brick, smack me in the head, SHOW IT TO ME!!

I know, I'm supposed to sit down and pray.

Yes, it's as easy as it sounds honestly.

But doing so isn't enough. It takes real steps which I need to take.

Balance is key.

Maybe this GEP thing isn't the best for me.

Maybe I'm supposed to just drop it all and do what I really love.

Do what I really believe in.

I look around and see so many photos in my room.

I'm always comforted by them.

Cause honestly, I know that when I don't know what to do, don't know where I'm headed to.

When I'm even headed in the wrong direction.

They're probably always there beside me.

Almost every single one of them have been by my side every step of the way.

Some have been lost, some have been close to my heart ever since.

But guess that's what makes it all worth while.

When I know that I can't take it anymore, they're right there.

So if I haven't said so yet.

THANK YOU!!!!

Cause Lionel wouldn't have made it this far if it wasn't for you and your magic in my life.

Yeah, so even though I really feel that I'm not living up to my expected capacity in NUS.

Though I'm not living out all the best of my visions.

I'm glad still, cause I'm surrounded by people whom will either remind me of it or bring me to it.

I worked so hard in JC, I almost lost all.

So this time NUS will be different. I'm going to work hard.

But remember where I've been.

Cause I'm looking to the future and not through the small rear mirror.

Pace and balance is the most important.

So in the coming months, it's going to be a few priority shifts in my life.

To have Rest days, to have date nights, to have supper opportunities and of course, crossfit and mugging. I'm going to try to make time for all these.

Still.. SLEEP IS SECONDARY TO ALL.

Help me change.....PLEASE CORRECT ME!

I need to reorder much of my plans and time.

long long way from here.

Listening to : Beautiful Exchange - Hillsong

I deem myself a break, after working real hard the whole day.

I need a breather. Guess that's what the night is for.

Not going to push myself beyond a certain limit, not just yet.

However, I do want to continue the topic which I so abruptly ended.

Perhaps, now that SOT has ended, what is left in my heart? What is left in my soul?

I know that my spirit has been tremendously blessed. but in terms of my head knowledge, my heart sensations, I really wish to know where I stand right now.

Sadly, immediately after SOT, I had no time to do this reflection in a proper manner.

It's all about the mad rush in NUS now. It's all about the paper chase once again.

However, is this it? Is it all over? And that SOT is over and done with?

The amazing things and breakthroughs which we all witnessed and achieved all take a back seat?

I do hope that it isn't the case, I just wish that I could take a week or so to really reflect.

However, certain things I know are certain about. The few moments which will never depart from my heart or my spirit. The moments of victory, the moments of toil and eventual triumph.

I admit, there have been real times in SOT whereby I really wanted to give up.

However, call it the pressure of the title? Or perhaps the need to pull everyone up.

I just couldn't bring myself to break. I just couldn't.

We have all come a long long way. I have made it thus far.

Not by my strength but by the strength of GOD.

I can only give thanks for the past 6 months.

It has been a real big roller coaster ride. But the memories will never fade.

The friendships will not be broken, not if I can help it.

Perhaps one of the few things which I can really testify, is what a few people can do.

What amazing things can be done if they just set their mind to it.

If they just dedicate their lives to a cause or a purpose. They can achieve great and mighty things!

Well, heading back to this race isn't easy.

Though I may not have had time to reflect how SOT has changed my life.

I'm going to start this next phase right, being the salt and light.

but most importantly, knowing what this is all about.

Why this is all for. For whom am I doing it for.

The people whom I have around me to push me on.

The victories I know that I have which can always give me courage.

If you ask me, what is going to be different.

It's all of these. It's about being in a new dimension altogether.

Everything that comes through that thick skull just can't seem to be seperated from God.

How all of these make all one big sense.

Thank you for SOT.

Thank you for everything that has happened this past year.

For now, thank you for the upcoming battles to be waged, the victories to be stood upon.

Cause whatever happens, I am more than a conqueror.

come on take the rest of me

Listening to : Little Wonders - Rob Thomas

So it has ended, the wonderful exciting journey has finally ended.

I know, life goes on, we should get back to excelling and doing our best.

In fact, I really should be studying right about now.

However, I feel that I should just spend a couple of moments reflecting.

SOT has been great, has been life changing for that matter.

I have been given many opportunities to do many different things.

Many were new experiences altogether, some are similar experiences but at an even higher level.

I am quite sure that SOT has allowed me to do much more than I imagined.

After these 6 months, what can I say? In a few lines, what and how has SOT changed me?

Simply put it, my heart has found it's direction, I have known the dripping oil again.

I have enjoyed the pleasure of fellowship, the meaning of family.

I have seen the pains of the World which cries out for help.

I have experienced and served in ways which supersede my own imagination.

I have most of all, come to know God again.

I would definitely miss SOT.

I would want to speak more about it, and I will.

Now is just the period of catching up. Please keep me in prayer k?

Love you deep deep!

work when it hurts

Listening to : For the first time - The Script

Doing things out of what motive?

What is the driving issue that you have in doing ridiculous things?

I'm going to come across real tonight.

I pace back and forth pondering what this is all about.

Coming back from pretty much the best wedding ever, I am really satisfied!

It's the time of celebrations!

Yesterday was graduation dinner, today was Yvonne's wedding, tomorrow is Shuyun and Ryans' Birthday celebration. I'm looking forward to them both now.

However, my heart is slightly dampened.

What is the point in having so much fun if you aren't happy.

Communication is key to life, I understand that more then ever.

Trust me when I say that I know what communication represents.

Being in the air force and in Usher ministry for so long. Communicating is so very important.

But when it all comes down to it, I am barely struggling to handle things and settle down.

Give me time. PLEASE give me some space to adapt to transiting.

Honestly, I kind of started NUS on a wrong foot.

Starting something like that would mean that I need to be consecrated, get a vision for it.

However, I totally haven't had the time to do so.

It's been so crazy rushing from SOT and NUS, finishing assignments.

Going for crossfit / therapy for my back.

I haven't got the space and time to get that going, which is really aggravating.

Doing so is really important to me. Yet, I have failed to do so.

I know what 'I' have to do, what 'I' should be doing in NUS as well.

But I wanna know what GOD wants me to do, what I will do for him in this new environment.

My heart is not focused at this moment.

I need time to adapt and get over SOT after this last week.

I know it's painful, I know how it feels.

But I will return to overtime talks.

However, right now, I haven't had the capacity to even think through life just yet.

I feel that I have to take time this week to really reflect.

How SOT has been, how the past 9 months have been.

How my 21 years of life has brought me to where I am today.

I wish everyone understands!

It's a first time for me to expound it publicly.

I need a moment to adjust to my environment, lest I fall just like before.

Lest I take the wrong footing and stumble everytime I transit.

I haven't had a great 'transition' record.

I just hope things will change this time round!

PS. I know it's tough to juggle, but I will really really MISS SOT!

Tui Na

Listening to : Promise - Chris Cornell

This is it? This is the new phase of life?

Hmmm, I honestly can't say that I'm tremendously shocked (In terms of the culture)

Guess cause I've been infused to an environment whereby most of my peers are in university.

However, is this really it? Getting my modules and tutorials and fighting the rat race.

I wonder, is there really something more?

Yeah, I know, revival is going to come! That the grades will soon flock!!

But really, other than simply mugging my buttocks off (Which I can really feel coming),

Spending days after days in the library just as I did in A levels studying and revising.

The only difference is maybe being much more independent and having the Lappie in front.

Apart from that, where is the culture?

Where is the 'spirit' of the school??

Maybe I was expecting too much from it (Since my bro keeps saying it's the best)

I'm really thankful and glad that there are people I know around.

Ie. Yiling, YX, Calvin, Brenda, PX, Matt, Chuck and not forgetting Shiming.

All of them have made my stay rather enjoyable. But trying to step out of my comfort zone is rather tough...

I know that I should be stepping out, making new friends.

I try my best to do so, but really the culture isn't there.

I know I'm not supposed to reminiscent, but I do miss the culture of CJC.

It's somewhat present here but really cause of the friends and that's all.

What I do hope is that the heart of the matter isn't something deeper.

I know I'm not alone, I enjoy it at times, walking and looking into the sky.

Doing so reminds me to appreciate what I've got, to thank God for it.

Studying the science and maths as well as a new feel of engineering has made me realize something.

God is truly amazing.

The way buildings are placed and shaped, the magic of how certain laws of nature can never be broken.

How these laws really govern our lives which seem so real to us all but taken for granted way too easily.

I do enjoy what I study, I just want more people to know what I am thinking of.

To spread that joy to the people around.

But don't get me wrong, I do enjoy NUS, it's been awesome.

Just maybe slightly more 'family' would be great. (Maybe I'm too used to SOT)

Either way, that isn't what I've truly been bothered about.

What's been troubling me is really my back, yes my back.

Recently I've sustained a slip disk. (DON'T WORRY!)

It isn't as serious as it sounds, I hope.

But what really affects me about all this is how I'm hit down again.

Everytime I really wanna do something big or great in this area, I'm always hit down.

Trying to stay positive is really tough.

Having a really supportive coach, girlfriend and friends help a great deal, really.

Having a healing God on our side helps the most!

I just wish to be healed real soon, I want to get back to my passion.

Call me addicted to it? Maybe I am, but it isn't just about passion.

It's about vision as well, I want to be somewhere in this, to help others as well.

Maybe this was all for a reason? I've read recently that the problem is hardly ever the situation, it's your attitude towards that situation.

So yes, today when I was experiencing tremendous pain and on the way back.

I've learnt that this is really helpful to me. Why?

It helps me to identify what's wrong with my form.

I now know that the way I do the whole crossfit idea is wrong to begin with.

The fundamentals that I've had were somewhat right but definitely flawed in some areas.

And this applies to every area in your life, that no matter how tired you are, you must always have a strong core.

To help facilitate better movement, help as a brace for your whole body and protection for it.

When you get run down, tired in life, hitting walls in life, always remember the core basics, that it is those things which will make sure that you stay standing after the 'workout'

It allows me to take a step back to reflect on my position and vision.

Having this injury is good in a way? It allows me to identify what muscle group is weaker.

Also, it allows me to evaluate how I've progressed since I've joined.

In terms of physical strength and mental development.

It serves as a basis for me to help others.

When you've got a slip disk or something of that sort, you know who to call.

So in that intense pain today, this Chinese physician actually had the cool to say some things to me.

He told me very frankly, that I had to take a long break for better recovery, that if I don't do so, I'm not able to perform up to spec. Then it hit me.

Isn't this like our lives? Sometimes when we're hit down hard, too hard.

We need to take a small step back and just take a BREAK! It isn't like backsliding, no!

Just take a break! It'll help you recover faster so you can come back STRONGER!

It's better than fighting on despite that 'injury' which you have which might just cripple you big time, in future and the rest of your lives.

Also, something really true was said, 'don't compare with other 'athletes', they may be training hard, lifting much heavier weights, but you may never know, they may be just hiding some injury themselves, they may be damaging themselves even more as well.'

Don't look at others to see how far they've gone, don't compare, really.

It's your life, it's your physical, emotional, spiritual development, live it out yourself!

Be happy with what YOU HAVE! Be happy with how far YOU have come! Not others...

Lastly, he said something which really hurts, literally.

'DON'T FORCE AWAY MY STRENGTH! It may hurt when I apply force in that area, but it's for your own good. If not, you'll leave with more problems then before. relax and let me pierce into the muscle area.'

When I did so, it hurt even more! Yes it did! But the relief soon after was much better than before.

Doesn't it seem so much like God? When we are in pain, we shout out!!!

Sometimes he may just give more heat!! But no worries, he's got this.

Cause the after effects would be a much bigger relief than if we resist his hand.

So much for a boring Tui Na session and injury time yeah?

But either way, I'm taking this time to really rest and recover, adapt to Uni life.

Will be taking a 3 weeks crossfit break? Yeah, it hurts me.

But It's for my own good, I know it and I'm sure it'll benefit me. So rest up!!!

Catalyst

Listening to : Catalyst - Linkin Park

So here it is, the new phase really starts now.

It's the time when the tide changes, we are really pitted against the best.

Fighting with not just the smartest but also the wittiest and most viscous crowd around town.

I'm excited for it. But before I move on into the new phases.

I haven't really had the time to evaluate or to think back as to how the time spent the past 9 months has been. I wonder, if it was really all worth it?

I begin to think if I have effected enough change in not just myself but the people around me.

Have I come to a place where I have grown.

Or is it all just a facade again? Which will simply dissipate the moment the tides rise sky high.

Note that I'm taking 6 modules. One more than the rest or the norm.

I'll be high on that.

I'm just awaiting the time when the trials will all just come in confrontation with the Faith.

What's the heat for if it's not here to put me to the test?

However, this time round, I know that I'm not alone. Totally not alone.

With the people around me, I care for them. They do for me as well.

I know I'm blessed, I just want to prove to myself a point here.

That greater things are really to come.

Keep the path straight. Run up strong and high.

I need to focus and remember why is this all for. Don't lose the vision.

Don't falter your mind, keep that end in mind.

Be that catalyst for the success of yourself and the people around you.

Drag and pull them up with you.
NUS. Let's create a storm in the place.

Call me arrogant? But I call it confessing out loud. I will get 5!

Why does everyone see it as impossible? Well guess what, it doesn't exist to me.

5. I'm going to make it happen!

Right now, I just need to get my whole system in motion.

Just like a body working together in crossfit to overcome something.

I've gotta work it all out first. My mind, spirit and soul.

Living the Dream

Listening to : Teenage Dream - Katy Perry

So the day arrives where one gets crown pseudo king for the day.

Oh gosh, I honestly feel a little scared of all the events which may unfold the next few hours.

The past celebrations were nothing short of amazing.

However, if I had the choice to, I would just want meals after meals of the best people.

I wouldn't want a single great day. I want many many enjoyable ones.

That's what makes my 21st a real great one.

However, I have a great girlfriend. I know, nobody can deny that.

But what is the meaning of a Birthday? When all attention comes upon the person?

For me, it's really a normal day. But maybe I make it a point to do the things I love the most.

Seeing the people I treasure the most.

That's a good birthday celebration to me, even if it's in macdonalds, I'm all good.

So I'm entering into adulthood. My days of being a ruffian are finally over.

Time to really step up to the call.... NOT!!!

I'll still definitely remain so young at heart. So what's up for the coming year?

1) Entering University! Excelling in it.

2) Doing more for ministry!

3) Loving Shiming a whole lot more as she moves on

4) Hopefully going on another mission trip

5) Having at least one more holiday.

6) Helping to make and create the vision of crossfit. Going beyond boundaries.

7) Having an awesome year with God as the centerpiece.

Seems really typical doesn't it? What should I do to spice it up?

Maybe the thing which is not so common in my years is really crossfit.

But before I get ahead of myself, I've got more than enough time to think of what can happen.

But I would like to take time to look back at what has happened.

Well, the year was great. In fact, I have to admit that this year was one of the best yet.

I've achieved the most, done the best.

Not forgetting messed up the most as well. Turbulent as it seems, life is still great.

So since last year, what has happened? On order of chronological order (I think)

1) 3 years anniversary, WOOHOO!! Not forgetting her 21st!

2) ORD! Finally.

3) Korea study tour. Amazing

4) USA trip. Totally FUN!

5) First real Job : Tuition

6) Entering into School of Theology, most uncertain but best decision made.

7) Asia Conference. Serving in Stage and doing Pageant. Experience of the lifetime.

8) Kuching Mission Trip. Life Changing

9) Encountering God in an awesome way again.

The year was so much more exciting than normal ones. Nothing more can be asked of it.

I'm entering 21 ready I suppose. But more than that, I'm entering it with expectancy.

LETS GOOOOO!!!!

after tonight!

Listening to : Ours - The Bravery

I've come to realize how important little things are to me.

How not even the small but also the tough.

We all keep saying that we are greater than ourselves.

That we are more than conquerors!!

However, Really, what are we conquerors over?

Small easy things? Or real distinct problems in life?

We say such phrases so easily, but where's the heat?

Where's the flame to test it all?

You don't need real Faith to go through the easiest of times.

You don't need hope when things seem pretty and fine.

You need it when you're really down and out.

So bring on the heat. I'm here to take it all.

Stretch me, pull me, move me. I'm ready!

What is it to Love when you go through tough times? I realized, I have never spoke of how life has changed through the years on this blog.

Of how I became who I am today. The changes that has happened.

All I can say is that at the end of the day, I am here now because of the Church, God and friends.

I'll tell the full blown story when I've got more time.

This is finally THE transition week. A new phase of life is here.

University!!!

I'm so thankful for everything up till now. My education route has finally brought me here.

From a little dimwit barely making it in Primary school.

To entering university next coming week.

I'm excited, but at the same time hopeful that eventually I'll be strong.

Let me not fall again like the last time. Or rather, let me rise up in times of transition!

Vision extended

Listening to : The Only Exception - Paramore

It seems to really fall into place.

I know how I am called at certain times. I know that when doors open I go.

When people call in need, I go. When He calls me to somewhere I undoubtedly go.

Most of the things which I am called to do may seem strangely similar to the things I want.

My talents and abilities also definitely play a very big role.

I've come to a very crucial decision just a few months ago.

Of which, I was very hesitant and unsure of my commitments, however, I chose nonetheless.

I knew there was a need to get focused and I did.

However, this new idea which comes bugging me religiously seems relentless.

I can't seem to ignore it because it all falls into place.

From the time I have stepped into SOT, the callings he have given to me.

To the mission trips and the times which cultural mandate was advocated.

I've been deeply moved by all of these. To realize that this fact cannot be ignored.

That what I am doing right now in my life, that crossfit is no longer what it seems.

That This seems like my marketplace to prosper in, to help groom and grow.

I would love to be like a typical person grooming my ministry and teams.

But I just feel that it isn't me. This is something which I feel, is beyond even myself.

Crossfit is no longer just about gaining strength, being able to supersede yourself.

It's not just about that anymore. It's about helping those people who are in lack.

Those people who are unsure of their next meal on the table. I want to help them.

I've been having this burden since the days in Kuching.

I have wanted to do so much for that family which has literally no vision whatsoever.

I felt so hopeless, How can I help these people?

Then I realized, it's more than just a sport, crossfit is here for this purpose, for them.

If what Coach said is really true, then I am for the box. I am here to stay.

I want to live for something more than myself. I want to live for others.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not in it to just try to get people to believe.

I really want to help those people in need. I will stay in crossfit, to train hard.

Thereafter, to help those who need help in, to teach those youngsters what it means to live.

To tell them that "You can do something you never imagined you can do."

Maybe nobody has told you that before?

But that's how I feel everytime I step into the box. That it's time for me to do something I once though was impossible. To reckon to myself that I am able to do amazing things!

Ultimately, I know that it's gonna be worth it. That because of the impact and the heart, people will come to know the Lord.

However, that really isn't the point anymore. I will do all it takes for this to happen.

To help those people without any vision to give them a vision.

To be able to show them what they've been looking for, for what I have found.

It's not just about fitness for them, it's about their lifestyle, their self-esteem.

To help them build a good core, figuratively and literally.

Because I believe that they're all angels, and with some help, they can fly again.

I just hope crossfit is something which they can come to do.

However, for now, i'll keep training hard, to better myself at this sport.

To be the light of the World so that one day, I'll be able to teach those kids too.

So one day, I can see their smile, which makes it all worth it.

God moves in very mysterious ways. This is by far the strangest I've seen.

To think that it is happening in my life right now.

It seems very far fetched, but this has been my dream. And I know I can do it.

I choose to want to do more now. Everyone says that they excel in various areas.

I want to do something here, I want to start something big.

So are you with me?

Clarity of Spirit

Listening to : Littlee Wonders - Rob Thomas

The smallest things in life should never be overlooked.

The simple joys and blessings, even the big ones as well should be properly addressed.

As I've finally returned from my Mission trip to Kuching.

We have all moved up one level in serving for sure. More importantly...

I can proudly say that We have all planted a seed which will flourish over there.

However, it's really more amazing that they've planted a seed in my heart as well.

Walking down the streets with the members of CHC Kuching made me realize how blessed I am, how I am in perfect position to help someone in need.

It's undeniably selfish to not extend that helping hand to someone in need.

We can all boast about the fact that we are in CHC, the church without walls.

However, have we actually went that extra mile giving that helping hand?

For the first time, we did. I did at least. Going into what they call houses...

I really call just metal sheets and a floor.

It really ached my heart. It irks me to think that I've been living such a lavish life and not exactly helped someone who has nothing at all.

I've got a vision, I've got a dream. They don't even have a meal in front of them.

All they have, is a smile, a joy which cannot be explained.

They are contented in their hearts, because of who they have, not What they have.

They are glad because they know that they've got people to care for them, that Jesus cares.

It's cliche, I know, but this is how the world is changed.

This is what I should be doing and focusing on as well.

I totally understand if someone has no vision or dream for their lives.

I can now understand why they wouldn't even consider having one.

If they have no place to live in, no real food to eat. Who would care.

I could say so much. I can tell so many stories.

But you have to be there to experience it yourself.

Leaving those houses, I though to myself.

Why are they in such conditions, why why why???

Then I realized something so simple, so that we can be there for them.

Seeing a little kid smile when we arrive, to see her take the chocolate from my arms smiling.

Never belittle the need to love. Never belittle your simple basic act of loving others.

It can change the World for them, beyond any sermon, beyond any fanciful drama.

This really changes their lives. A simple chocolate ball...

I have been moved to initially think that making something work is really out of effort.

However, I've come to realize to understand that it is not always the case.

With only effort, we can do so much.

But I've seen the heart of prayer in this church. They know what it means to give their youth.

It reminds me of not even myself but the pioneers of City Harvest.

They don't just give their money, their sweat but they really give their youths.

They devote it to a simple act of prayer and serving.

It's not about stature for them. But they really want it, they really want the Kingdom.

They really want their friends to be saved, they want their family to be saved.

They want the miracles of God to happen in their lives.

They want their church to always be in Revival.

It has been a spiritual experience for us. Joining them in prayer, joining them in worship.

With no instruments whatsoever, it is really a renewal of ourselves.

However, no one can dispute the fact that their pastor, Pastor Kelvin has an amazing heart.

Working day after day tirelessly but still keeping a smile on his face.

It's a rare sight. A smile which is really genuine which is not out of accomplishment.

It's a smile that brings across hope.

I really want that as well. The people in CHC Kuching have been beyond encouraging to me.

Though youths, they have already made miracles happen.

I wouldn't want to be boastful to say that we did all the work.

However, it was a real tough job in everyone's part. It really wasn't easy.

I see the immense hardwork, sweat and tears.

It really can hear the anger, sadness and even disappointment when something didn't go as expected. It hasn't exactly been the easiest of events I've come across.

From the first day till the last, everyone has been giving their 100%. Being very adaptable to change. Being totally understanding when I tell them that we've got to practice.

I really am grateful for everyone's sacrifices.

If it wasn't for you all. If it wasn't for the effort that you all have placed. None of this would have happened. As the mission closed, tears welled up for the first time ever.

I was really overwhelmed, that if it wasn't for you guys, Kuching wouldn't have been changed one bit. Revival was brought to that town, I believe that.

It's because of your willingness, your attitude to serve, your attitude to sacrifice which moved me most, Team 1 and 2. You have made this mission meaningful to me.

A seed has been planted, the most important seed is one which is from you guys.

The little acts that everyone has placed effort in are really wonders in it's own.

You all are little wonders. I thank you all for that. The time, the sleep, all the sacrifices.

Thank you, For the commitment to the music, the excellence of it, Ryan, Yu Kun and Yee Hao

Thank you, For always assuring me that things will work out, Josh and Sha Sha and Rih Yang

Thank you, For taking that bold step to do what you never thought you would, Justine, Sean, Mel Chen and Xiao Zhuang

Thank you, For the relentless effort in making the kids happy, Ariel, Joanna and Mel Tay

Thank you, For the heart to always keep on serving despite all the sickness, Roy, Miko and Anda and Edu

Thank you, For the stepping up and daring to speak in front of a camera for the first time, Shijie and Phoebe.

Thank You, For the effort placed in making sure that your offering was the best it could be, Allen, Yi Fei and Hong Ming

Thank you, for being the support which I really needed when things were being run, Jian Hao, Kim,

Thank you, For that undying spirit and creativity in the drama, Derick, Prija and Jun.

Thank you, For the hype you brought in the youth meeting, Ben.

Thank you, For being there when things really went rough but you were there to smile and push me on with that dot, Hua Hui.

Thank you E406 for your prayers.

Thank you God, for the presence which you sent down that day. Thank you Father for the love which you poured out. Thank you Jesus for your grace that was upon us that whole trip. You are the motive of it all. Your gave us love to love. Thank you God. Really. Thank you.

Now that Kuching is over, it won't stop here for sure. I'm gonna make it continue. The spirit of BREAKTHROUGH!!!

Never been

Listening to : What are you waiting for - Colby O Donis

I have to admit, this year has to be the fastest year ever.
i was just sitting down with one of the security guys and I realized....

It's 2 more months of SOT! Then it's the start of school.

I'm actually going to start NUS really soon. I can't believe it.

This year is passing by too fast.

It's mid point of the year. I have to admit, it's really been a great half.

Really. As for my goals, visions, dreams. I'm quite sure I'm one step closer to it.

I'm trying my best to improve myself everyday. I sound like a machine but it really seems that way. The time expanded will not come back.

But the fruits of it will remain. Forever, I hope.

The year of change. I hope that it'll really change for the better.

As for now, I just hope my motivations and intentions are of use and of benefit to the rest.

BACK TO REALITY LIONEL!

I'm not in a dance in the middle of a laser field.

I'm in reality. Where things don't exactly go the way they're supposed to be.

Where mistakes and disappointments happen.

I guess living in such a World is this way.

But then again, it's living in denial as well.

What are we? What are we to ourselves? To our spirits?

Are we to hide them all? Are we to conform to the standards of ourselves?

Just deep in thought.

Listening to : King of anything - Sara Bareiles

The worst pressure that can come from anyone is the one which comes from within.

The feeling whereby you know that you've got too much to do.

However, I've come to realize that instead of being busy about the things around.

I find myself making way and time for the things which matters.

I know and I'm sorry if I haven't been the best around town.

I may have just stepped on wrong toes and even placed wrong priorities at times.

However, I'm gonna try to focus from tomorrow onwards.

I know that it's going to be a better day!

The need for the people around me is a priority.

However, I've come to realize that even that needs to be properly prioritized.

Everyone needs something. It's whether you see him as important or not.

Everyone can argue and debate about this whole issue over and over again.

But it's true. Why don't you bother to meet this person and bother caring for him?

It's simple, save the excuses, you just don't place him in priority.

So what is a priority in your life? One of significance?

Or one which is after the same old dumb rat race.

Or worst still, in this caught up idea of reaching out.

Don't get me wrong (I better clarify lest I die tomorrow)

Reaching out to the lost is all good and wholesome. Totally for it.

However, we may come to a point of really running this rat race of reaching out.

So substantiated and into the motion till we forget to do the one thing which matters.

Love.

We talk about love and love and love. We may say it out, preach it out.

Till we really may get numb to it.

We may be with that person we have to work on and really not do so out of love but compulsion.

Don't ever be a professional "lover".

Be genuine, be real, that's the facts which keep you going.

Someone told me recently and answered a burning question of mine.

"When it's so hard to love. What can we do?"

It was a straight forward answer, clear cut and to the point.

"Ask God for a bigger love tank. If it's running dry, you need more space!!"

This made me make two simple deductions.

1) Our love tank is limited in size (Possible unlimited like God's but I'm sure I'm far from it)

2) Our love tank can run dry

So if you wanna love more. You gotta do a few things?

1) Make room for more love to come in.

2) Be filled with alot more love more often

3) Be careful with whom you give love out to.

The first two comes by time and requests.

However, to be careful with whom we love??

Don't get me wrong once again. We are called to love everyone and anyone.

Even those whom inflict pain to you.

And I am a strong advocate of the fact that you give and it will be given back to you.

You lose your time, your effort, you WILL gain it back!

You expand your energy and service, people WILL give it back.

You share your love with others, you WILL be given that same amount, if not more, back.

So yes, we are to love everyone.

However, the words we use, have to be careful.

Most people know about the 4th Dimension.

Your words create it, making it something which is an atmosphere or realm around you beyong the 3D world.

Thus, the same applies, speak love, you create love.

However, you say you love your car and the next moment you say you love your wife?

I mean, are we ranking your car the same value as that of your wife??

This is what I'm talking about, not simply rationing the love.

But be careful with it.

Don't fall in love with the wrong things of this World.

Before you know it, it'll be drawing from the love tank of yours.

No matter how big it is, there's still a hole whereby it comes out from.

Love the things that matter, share with those whom matter.

Therefore, to keep your head in the game, don't simply focus on the idea of reaching out.

Or simply focusing on the wrong priorities in life.

Rank your love amounts so that you can properly ration that love.

be careful of whom and what you love.

Don't love the WRONG THINGS!!

Instead, don't love the action, love the person.

God thinks about you.

Listening to : Send Down Your Love - C3 Church

It's very easy all the time to get up on your feet and be angry in whatever situation you are in.

It's even easier if you look down at your situation and become angsty about it.

We get angry in the simplest of circumstances.

Yes, I got a little agitated today.

Not just today, but the whole of the past 3 days in fact.

I've been largely bothered my my computer, it is unable to detect any hardware except my Iphone.

As strange as that sounds, it's really been bothering me, if any one knows why, do pm me.

But either way, when this occurred, I had a very normal reaction.

I got really annoyed, irritated and yes angry.

I brought it to the next few days till today.

I was this close to exploding because of such a small issue.

Talking about making a mountain out of a molehill. That was the epitome of it all.

But as I began to reflect on the things that have occurred the past few days.

I know I should be studying, mugging for my coming exam on Friday.

But I just felt the need to express my thoughts and feelings on this.

That getting angry, getting agitated, losing your cool. Is really a CHOICE.

We make that choice out of various circumstances in our lives.

But more importantly, we make that choice out of a DECISION.

You decide whether to give in to the devil or not.

I'd like to think that our lives, is a 24/7 battle.

What's there to expect from a battle-hungry-always-energetic guy yeah?

But ya, the fact still remains that it is true.

Our lives is a battlefield, we are the battle.

God is fighting and the devil is fighting.

We choose who wins, we choose who gets the better of us.

When we get down to the wire, we get angry, we lost our cool, we forget to love.

It is so easy to garner self pity over yourself. But beyond that.

Instead of getting angry over your situation, your friend or even yourself.

Thank God in everything. In every situation that you are in.

When things go rough. Praise God in those circumstances.

I have learnt that valuable lesson today.

It was by far one of the worst ever. Really.

But I guess I chose to be happy, I chose to have a lifted spirit.

I realized that choosing to thank God In all things is better than getting angry.

It's just a waste of time, energy and life to get angry.

What's more. I know what I am today. I know what God thinks of me.

I know that getting angry won't help. But thinking of those things will liven me up.

I am a Child of GOD

I have a good future and a hope

I am Chosen

I have Love poured in me

I am More Than A Conqueror

My Smile makes GOD Smile

I have a purpose

The will and purpose GOD has for my life is amazing

I am able to make mountains move

I can change the World by Changing Lives

I am persistent to make it happen

The Love that comes out from my life can change lives

I am LOVED

The people around me Love me more than I think

I am secure in Life and in my Future

I am placed on this Earth to Reign

I am an overcomes in all times of trials

Every trial coming at me is a stepping stone to success

If God is for me, who can be against me

Jesus is praying for my success all the time, even now

The Word of God is the core of my life

I am or Worth

I am able to do IMPOSSIBLE things!

God loves me more than I ever know

I need not be ashamed of who I am

I am right beside GOD

Today is my day of victory

Today is my day of Purpose

Today is MY DAY!

Just saying all that already makes me feel that I'm going to do amazing stuff.

That getting angry is too trivial a matter.

That my life is more than this.

What is God thinking of you today?