This is it? This is the new phase of life?
Hmmm, I honestly can't say that I'm tremendously shocked (In terms of the culture)
Guess cause I've been infused to an environment whereby most of my peers are in university.
However, is this really it? Getting my modules and tutorials and fighting the rat race.
I wonder, is there really something more?
Yeah, I know, revival is going to come! That the grades will soon flock!!
But really, other than simply mugging my buttocks off (Which I can really feel coming),
Spending days after days in the library just as I did in A levels studying and revising.
The only difference is maybe being much more independent and having the Lappie in front.
Apart from that, where is the culture?
Where is the 'spirit' of the school??
Maybe I was expecting too much from it (Since my bro keeps saying it's the best)
I'm really thankful and glad that there are people I know around.
Ie. Yiling, YX, Calvin, Brenda, PX, Matt, Chuck and not forgetting Shiming.
All of them have made my stay rather enjoyable. But trying to step out of my comfort zone is rather tough...
I know that I should be stepping out, making new friends.
I try my best to do so, but really the culture isn't there.
I know I'm not supposed to reminiscent, but I do miss the culture of CJC.
It's somewhat present here but really cause of the friends and that's all.
What I do hope is that the heart of the matter isn't something deeper.
I know I'm not alone, I enjoy it at times, walking and looking into the sky.
Doing so reminds me to appreciate what I've got, to thank God for it.
Studying the science and maths as well as a new feel of engineering has made me realize something.
God is truly amazing.
The way buildings are placed and shaped, the magic of how certain laws of nature can never be broken.
How these laws really govern our lives which seem so real to us all but taken for granted way too easily.
I do enjoy what I study, I just want more people to know what I am thinking of.
To spread that joy to the people around.
But don't get me wrong, I do enjoy NUS, it's been awesome.
Just maybe slightly more 'family' would be great. (Maybe I'm too used to SOT)
Either way, that isn't what I've truly been bothered about.
What's been troubling me is really my back, yes my back.
Recently I've sustained a slip disk. (DON'T WORRY!)
It isn't as serious as it sounds, I hope.
But what really affects me about all this is how I'm hit down again.
Everytime I really wanna do something big or great in this area, I'm always hit down.
Trying to stay positive is really tough.
Having a really supportive coach, girlfriend and friends help a great deal, really.
Having a healing God on our side helps the most!
I just wish to be healed real soon, I want to get back to my passion.
Call me addicted to it? Maybe I am, but it isn't just about passion.
It's about vision as well, I want to be somewhere in this, to help others as well.
Maybe this was all for a reason? I've read recently that the problem is hardly ever the situation, it's your attitude towards that situation.
So yes, today when I was experiencing tremendous pain and on the way back.
I've learnt that this is really helpful to me. Why?
It helps me to identify what's wrong with my form.
I now know that the way I do the whole crossfit idea is wrong to begin with.
The fundamentals that I've had were somewhat right but definitely flawed in some areas.
And this applies to every area in your life, that no matter how tired you are, you must always have a strong core.
To help facilitate better movement, help as a brace for your whole body and protection for it.
When you get run down, tired in life, hitting walls in life, always remember the core basics, that it is those things which will make sure that you stay standing after the 'workout'
It allows me to take a step back to reflect on my position and vision.
Having this injury is good in a way? It allows me to identify what muscle group is weaker.
Also, it allows me to evaluate how I've progressed since I've joined.
In terms of physical strength and mental development.
It serves as a basis for me to help others.
When you've got a slip disk or something of that sort, you know who to call.
So in that intense pain today, this Chinese physician actually had the cool to say some things to me.
He told me very frankly, that I had to take a long break for better recovery, that if I don't do so, I'm not able to perform up to spec. Then it hit me.
Isn't this like our lives? Sometimes when we're hit down hard, too hard.
We need to take a small step back and just take a BREAK! It isn't like backsliding, no!
Just take a break! It'll help you recover faster so you can come back STRONGER!
It's better than fighting on despite that 'injury' which you have which might just cripple you big time, in future and the rest of your lives.
Also, something really true was said, 'don't compare with other 'athletes', they may be training hard, lifting much heavier weights, but you may never know, they may be just hiding some injury themselves, they may be damaging themselves even more as well.'
Don't look at others to see how far they've gone, don't compare, really.
It's your life, it's your physical, emotional, spiritual development, live it out yourself!
Be happy with what YOU HAVE! Be happy with how far YOU have come! Not others...
Lastly, he said something which really hurts, literally.
'DON'T FORCE AWAY MY STRENGTH! It may hurt when I apply force in that area, but it's for your own good. If not, you'll leave with more problems then before. relax and let me pierce into the muscle area.'
When I did so, it hurt even more! Yes it did! But the relief soon after was much better than before.
Doesn't it seem so much like God? When we are in pain, we shout out!!!
Sometimes he may just give more heat!! But no worries, he's got this.
Cause the after effects would be a much bigger relief than if we resist his hand.
So much for a boring Tui Na session and injury time yeah?
But either way, I'm taking this time to really rest and recover, adapt to Uni life.
Will be taking a 3 weeks crossfit break? Yeah, it hurts me.
But It's for my own good, I know it and I'm sure it'll benefit me. So rest up!!!
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