Surprise Surprise

Listening to : The Kill - 30 Seconds to Mars

I Honestly think the reason why i'm home is quite stupid.
Yes i do.
'Nights out to go get your berms!'
Wow! I didn't know it could be this good.
WELL! The good thing about this is that i can GO HOME!
Yes i can.
I do have to admit. God is Good.
When time is taken away, it gets replaced.
This just happens all the time.
As for now, i'm just gonna chill.
Now it really feels like school, i'm gonna be out 2moro in less than 24 hours.
And tomorrow, its HELLO AMAZING RACE!!!!
Wooo!!! I'm gonna sit Hydros car. How nice is that eh....

Little but much

Listening to : Big girls don't cry (remix) - fergie

So its wednesday again! Good day.
Or rather, its relatively ok. Other than the fact that i'm literally getting screwwed for my controlling. Everything else seems rather ok.
Honestly, camp didn't seem too bleak till recently when i started screwing up.
Anyway, I met up with who else but shiming today.
Well, we haven't been spending much time together. We really havent!
But i'm happy. I dunno why, guess its reached a point where seeing just makes it all worth while.
Where little is acutally much.
Maybe its the perception i have nowadays.
Well, as for change. I think i'm going along just fine.
The book "running to win", is really really good. For me at least. It gives me inspiration and it kinda puts things in real perspective for me.
I'm going to try hard to keep this change going.
I'll be out on FRIDAY!
No more running wild for me man. I'm gonna be clean and good from now on!

Refresher course!

Listening to : Breakeven - The script

I guess this weekend has been quite eventful.
Self-realisation sets in. Well, i honestly felt quite bad for many things.
However, i guess today really ended it quite well.
I met up with the trackers and all.
I dunno why, everytime i meet them i feel very at ease and i never fail to enjoy myself.
Same for my class also. I just let go and let loose.
Of course its the same for shiming.
Well, I guess the happiest part of my life is on the track.
Thats why i treasure them so much and I guess I feel good cause theres always a sense of purpose with them around.
Now i'm ready for change. I really really am.
I know it'll be tough. It will be. But i know i can do so.

gd bad

Listening to : Simple, Starving to be safe - Saphne loves derby

Damn sian.
I had a good dream turned bad.
I dreamt I could book in monday morning.
I woke up and realised. DAMN!
Argh. The day ain't starting too well!

Victorious

Listening to : Yesterday - Leona Lewis

Well, I guess its time for us to actually evaluate how has the year been going.
In the more mental/spiritual/emotional side rather than physical side
I guess segmenting it into quarter sections won't be the best idea.
So lets do it by stages.
BMT was good i guess, I was quite Positive most of the time. Despite the initial culture shock for me into ns, it was an ok transition. I clung on to Shiming for most of my support. Not only that but also to God. however, i didn't really bother to meet many friends too often. I dunno why too.

Next was HELLO OCS. Now this was REALLY hell. Like i've never experienced such tough training in a LONG time. Like it really Pushed my mental and physical limits. However, at this point, i was the MOST optimistic and strongest. I duno why too. My girlfriend was there to always support me too.

Thereafter was AIR WING! It was actually a good time for me. Like up till now. Its AFST FTW! I really enjoyed my time there. I had the best buddy there as well. It was also when i started to make time for my outside friends and shiming was really great too! Heh, not only that, I was serving in usher and also quite happy about life on a whole!

Then there was a DIP when i entered the C3. Honestly, life was less demanding like it wasn't so taxing on you physically but it really pushed me. Like this was the part of my life when i was really the lowest. I somehow just lost all the positive attitude i had and also felt quite a drop in my spiritual life. Heh, I honestly felt quite lost. Not only that, there was pressure from the leaders, instructors, friends. I was up to my neck! Shiming was there all the time, thank god for that. Even that, there were times when i felt i wasn't the nicest boyfriend. Also, i think i tried too hard to accomodate ALL my friends, guess I should've done things in a more relaxed way.

For now, some things are still persisting, some things are getting better. However, it really is a disappointment for me. oh man. Like i remember how it was in school previously! I was on top of the day, i always ended the day victorious and started it with an attitude to conquer! However, Now its like I'm trying to survive. Notice the change in use of words. I'm barely excelling in anything i do now. I'm not the 'conqueror' I once was. Thus the name of this blog. I hope i've found the root of the problem. I think i did today in service. I know i'm supposed to wake up feeling good and end it feeling i've been voctorious! Thats how it was all the time! I was on top of every situation! I want it to be that way again.

This post seems quite emo? Yeah, guess it does. Its not the NORMAL lionel post eh. Anyway! Life goes on! Happy to see all the trackers! :)

Hyped up

Listening to : Impossible - Bayje

It's been a while since i've actually started a week on a high note.
Well, that was the case for this week. I dunno why myself.
I think it was simply due to the face that i STAYED at home on sunday night.
Which really helped alot. I dunno why but guess there's some psychological thing.
But i'm glad this week, and its wednesday already! Quite fast to me honestly, ignoring the fact that i gotta do my exercise tomorrow

Met up with Sijia just now. Well, there's been some issues/complications between us before.
But i gotta admit, if there's one friend i'm really thankful for its gotta be her.
Yup, she's been there very often and i guess its been the same likewise.
In fact, she's my longest running best friend. Haha! All my other friends simply fade out of contact. Somehow, i dunno why but she just sticks around.
Guess she was there to pull me back when everyone practically gave up hope.
Yup, can remember how she'll keep calling and calling and how i'll NEVER pick up her calls, intentionally or unintentionally simply to avoid contact.
But i guess it was this persistence that moved me a little to come back.
Other than that, she's really a great buddy whom i'll want to have all the way.

ALSO! On the bright side, NG SHIMING PASSED HER DRIVING!
So happy for her! I remember how she'll whine to me about how annoying her instructor will be.
How tough it will be to drive and complicated things will be and how tough it'll be to juggle both SOT, uni and driving.
At least its all over and she's FREE!!!
Now i can be driven around, ewith my girl right beside me. :)
Can't wait, next problem. Where to get a car. Hmmmm.......
Well, till then! Its the normal transport of CAB!
Sadly so, well, alot of things to think about now. Money, Time, Future.
Now that there's SOME time to breathe, its time to settle all of them out.
Oh and funny thing is, when my girlfriend JUST ended, I JUST started.
Basic Theory on Friday. wow

Sickly

Listening to : How i could just kill a man - charlotte sometimes

I guess i'm really not watching myself.
I'm like coughing like an idiot now. The last time i coughed so much was my auzzie trip.
I was like a sick dog. Dragging myself in and out of bed.
My nose bled like once a day.
I'm quite happy i'm not in such a state yet though.
But the flu and cough is really making my stay awake and is really annoying.
the cough medicine makes u drowsy so u sleep.
I had the best sleep on Friday night after the medicine.
Well, the bad thing was that it was TOO STRONG! I woke up half dizzy and high.
For real, it made me higher than any alcohol i've ever taken.
It took me till like after lunch to wear it off.
I'm never taking that again. I can imagine myself controlling when i'm high.
Aircrafts will crash everywhere.
Well, good thing about all of this is that i get to go in 2moro morning instead of tonight.
However, the bad thing would definitely be that i gotta wake up same time and all still.
To me, the comfy bed makes all the difference. yes it does!
Gonna sleep real early to wear the 'high' off.
This week was super emo....
EMO to the max man. well i hope next weekend would be better!

soundtrack

Listening to : Thunder - Boys Like Girls

Confinement is finally over!
The pain of it was alot less excruciating than what i thought it would be.
Like the 9 hours passed by quite fast and it appeared as if time flew by.
Though the officers on course would be a little more uptight on certain things.
But apparently they couldn't be bothered about us chilling and resting.
Actually its 3 plus in the morning and i'm really wondering why i'm not sleeping my ass off.
Other than that, tomorrow will be spending my day with shiming.
Speaking of which, i've been listening to music alot.
To me, every season and every occasion has a new theme song or rather a soundtrack.
Haha, I remember when it was in the A level period, 'won't go home without you' was in.
During the BMT it was 'pictures of you' which got the mood in for me.
During the prom time it was 'Saddest song'. For now, it's 'thunder'.
The songs may not ENTIRELY match the situation but it really makes me remember the days and times spent in that situation. Like how sad i'll be in tekong, how tough it was in A levels.
As for my girlfriend. There're too many songs to name.
Actually most songs all relate to her. Haha! Guess its just me but yeah.
I remember her most of the time in camp....
Sorry for those buddies of mine but i think of her like 80% of the time!
Anyway, enough of that. time to SLEEP!

Sweet escape

Listening to : The man who can't be moved - The Script

Its been an interesting week, but an agonizing weekend.
Why?
Cause of confinement, I mean, i ain't THAT sore about it but...
Its just you know. As annoying as it can be.
Got quite alot to talk about this time. Yes i do.
To me, the biggest thing would definitely be wednesday.
My parents wedding anniversary.

To me, Such events should be celebrated internally.
Ie. Within the couple.
However, i guess they think otherwise.
So my dad being the non-romantic guy.
Indeed surprised us all.
"We are throwing a surpirse for your mummy at the best steakhouse in town, do dress appropriately and don't tell her."
Yup, that was what my dad said, I was honestly really really shocked. To hear those words emerge from his mouth was like vegetables to me. And I don't eat vegetables...
So yeah, we indeed went to the best steakhouse in town.
I mean the BEST like MORTONS. I thought it'll be costly. But not THAT costly.
Well, cut long story short. I'm honestly quite happy to see them both this way. It didn't turn out exactly like how it should be, but my mum was really surprised nonethless.
In the end, seeing them hug at such an old age kinda gets both goosebumps on my hands and also a warmth in my heart.
I mean, how cool would it be if we get married in future and remain so loving?

Guess in Singapore we ain't the best loving creatures around.
Dad works, Mum 90% of the time works, kid is left to the maid/childcare.
So yeah, thats the rough idea of the family structure.
At least that is the idea for me. I didn't bother looking into wikipedia to find the stats but i'm guessing those are the structures of most families in Singapore.
ALSO! It's common to say "don't eat where you shit". Ie. Don't get your partner where you work. Therefore! The couple wouldn't be in such close contact anymore.
Looking at me and shiming, i guess we're an anomaly but we really can't stop meeting each other. I know i'm what 9 months into NS but i still literally DEMAND to see her every weekend.
I guess and I hope that is the same way for her. Or at least thats what she says. So i believe her.
We're NOT in the same organisation as we were in JC, so I guess it really does take effort.
So this is to all married/going to get married/planning marriage/wannabes.
Its all about keeping the LOVE!

Ok, you have got to be thinking, Lionel is partially gay.
NO I'M NOT! I just thought i should talk about this after my parents anniversary.
I salute my Dad for such an act.
Well, enough mushy stuff. Time to sleep. Sian.

last minute

Listening to : Shadow of the day

This is really the last 5 minutes.
I seriously hate this time.
I will always blog once then 1st thing i'm out and once again right b4 i go in.
The attitude swing is quite extreme. I dun wanna bk in.
The people there, some are strange, some are disgusting, some are ok.
But more than that, its just the training.
Its just. AHHH.
Anyway, i'm keeping a positive attitude to it.
At least i'm trying to do so.......
To think i used to be so happy in school....

Achieve

Listening to : The Man Who Can't Be Moved - The Script

Well, today was quite a good day.
Though there were many complications, all i can say was that it all ended quite well.
In fact, i'm quite satisfied with the outcome.
Well, In training, I'm done with half of hell. Which is honestly good.
I think i'm actually able to pull this controlling thing off. HAHA.
Anyway, did a few things this week.
To actually complete some things i intend to do this year, i actually bothered to start.
I FINALLY applied for driving. YUP!
I'm quite happy i did so. Feels good getting the date. I'll never forget how it feels.
Maybe i will...
Anyway, was thinking and honestly, i've heard from people you gotta ba happy to be successful.
Well, from what i think. Thats RIGHT!
Yeah, i remember feeling the same way in A levels. So those burning the oil...
Be HAPPY STUDYING!!!
Oh and yeah, i gotta ba a happier person in camp. haha.

Well, was talking to mark the other day....
4 places we HAVE to go after ORD.
Its expensive, but what the heck, if not now then when?
1) New York
2) Las vegas
3) Los Angeles
4) Hawaii
Oh and yes, if shiming you're reading this....
You're not excluded.....
So make plans for 2010. HAHA!

to the end

Listening to : I will follow you into the dark



I'm quite a happy man. Heh, maybe its just recently.
Just ran my 10k. Quite fun run going with Calvin and all.
Heh, well, highlight would be the graduation yesterday.
Yup, the SOT graduants are really the stars of the night.
To me, it only one girl! HAHA! Yup! Its my SUPERGIRL!
Don't ask me why man, but she's really the best there is. Heh.
Many won't know the problems she ahd the past 5 months in sot.Yup, gotta admit, it really was exceptionally not easy for her.
Maybe its a biased point of view, but i'm really proud of her for making it this far.
For pushing so much, guess i'll really follow her till the end. Heh.
Many are asking me, when's my turn.....
Ok fine, after i got long hair again. HAHA!
Well, gonna watch money no enough 2 soon.
hope its going to be nice. WELL!! See my girl soon!

Lightning

Listening to : Check yes Juliet - We the Kings


Wow, this week was really quite good.
HAHA! Yes it was, it started quite well, ended better.
Well, other than guard duty, the week was quite ok.
NExt week will be quite short as well, other than assessment 1. Everything else is ok.
Well, the news all around.
The bolt. HAHA!
Yes the USAIN BOLT!
He was AMAZING!
A 100 in 9.69
A 200 in 19.30
A 4x100 in 37.10
Amazing stuff, i'm really amazed by it.
Well, only one pic and one word will summarise all i think.
LOVE

Confidence

Listening to : Bottle it up : Sarah Bareilles

I'm back on a wednesday! I'm happy once again!
I just did my Ex 5 and i think it went relatively well.
Not just that, i just met shiming. I'm really happy cause i met her too!
Well, i guess its these times which really just make u appreciate the time u have in life.
HAHA!
I dunno, i'm quite enjoying this week though its longer for me.
Maybe i'm thinking differently now.
U just need one thing along the week to just tip everything over!
That makes u really high....
I want my weekend to come. Though its short.....
But still, i know this weekend is important for shiming...
I wanna be there. Well!!! Other than that...
Mark's last week, Alvan short week.....
We're all experiencing different things eh. HAHA!

the time period...

Listening to : Hate that i love you - Rihanna

Well, i hate this time of the week the most.
The few moments at home b4 i book in.
I really hate it. I dunno why, just that i wanna get out b4 i get in.
This sucks.
Somhow, the the days when my gf was here in the last few moments made it alot better.
HINT HINT!
ok. book in time. cya in a week...

Superman of speed

Listening to : Disturbia - Rihanna

Well, its the olympic season!
The time where Records get smashed!
Dreams get shattered for some, but dreams come true for many!
Glory to country is brought and best of all, skills that kill are seen
Well, I guess to me, i'll just be looking at 2 sports.
Basketball and athletics!
Well, all eyes on the 'redeem' team of USA for basketball.
Kobe bryant is almost top form, Lebron is on fire, Wade is crazy. Can't wait to see who gets the gold!
For track, i'm really looking at the sprints, quite exciting to see who gets crowned the fastest man on Earth. Its quite a battle between the supermen of speed.
HAHA! Came up with that phrase, not bad eh. My bet is on Tyson Gay for the 100 and Wariner for the 400. For hurdles, heh, Liu Xiang will be my fave for that.
Hope they all get their golds.

On a more patriotic side,
SINGAPORE GOT THEIR 1ST MEDAL!
Good job table tennis ppl.
HAHA! I kinda felt quite proud of my country when i saw them win.
I mean, getting a trophy is really showing the world u own.
Yup, swe owned the rest in PING PONG!
heh, too bad for all the other events i guess. Singapore can never see basketball or track man. Not even close.
One day, i just hope to be one of the superman of speed.
Hmmm, maybe i'm dreaming too much.

ANYWAY!
Controlling in air force is really no joke.
Getting scolded more and more each day.
However, i'm trying to keep a positive attitude towards it.
Like even if i can't make it, i'll just go to the army side and also be happy there.
Heh, guess the key thing is to just be happy.
Remember that was quite the attitude i had when i was having hell in the army wing.
Yeah, it was PURE hell. I hated it quite badly.
So for now, i'm just going to be happy controlling. YUP!!
Love what u're doing and do what you love. I always will keep that ideal to myself.
Alright! gonna rest a little then go church.
After that its supporting AMELIA LEE for BIZZ QUEEN!

Quite ready for ah meng...

Listening to : Viva La Vida - Coldplay

I love this song. I really do, i guess coldplay really went beyond they're usual genre in this song.
Or maybe this is the epitome of their genre.
Sadly, i don't exactly love the rest of the songs in the album.
Well, I still think coldplay rocks. Most of their songs are my faves.
Well, top 2 bands in which i wanna go for their concerts.
MUSE and COLDPLAY!
Yes... Muse is like amazing when they come to concerts.
Their music is different yet stands out.
Too bad i have yet to go for both bands concerts.

On another note! Today is my LAST day of break.
I honestly feel cold when i move back to the simulator.
My R/T will come out strange and i'm quite sure that My controlling will be a little shaken.
I got one unsatisfactory already.
I just hope i don't get another one.
I still don't think i did THAT badly. Or rather, it just depends on who i do with.
I'm gonna be mentally ready for the BASTARD instructor!!!
The past 5 days were great nonetheless. I really do feel refreshed and all

I guess it felt great cause of the people i hung out with. Yeah.
Met mark close to everyday, to hang out,
The trackers / Family were around too, my class.
Tan sijia, the Lee couple.
The Justice League and even celine whom i've strangely started talking to again.
We used to be Quite good friends in the past i think.
My Supergirl went overseas but she kinda felt there all the time beside me.

Yeah, thats why my week felt good.
Now that the break is coming to an end, i'm quite ready for anything they can throw me.
I accepted the fact, if i have to ooc, i will.
But i'll do anything i can to prevent that.
Cause i know i can do all things! :)

Confused yet again

Listening to : Break the ice

I'm bored...
The break is so long i'm actually bored.
Well, i guess i know how mark feels now,
doing close to nothing or irrelevant things the whole day.
Just today, was thinking about how i'm thinking too much at times.
It gets irritating.
That makes me confused, so much so i'm led astray.
Gotta stop it at times.
Thats why i gotta focus on a simple few things now.
AAAAHHHHHHHHHH

Mission Accomplished

Listening to : Crushcrushcrush - Paramore

I am now at the 4th day out of 5 in my so called 'break'.
I have to admit, its really working.
I feel alot more relaxed and really happy i took the break.
Spent a good day with my girlfriend, friday was spent celebrating birthdays and partying a little.
I guess its really a fulilling 5 days.
Whats more!?!? I've got 2 more days!
Today gonna go service, i guess will hang with my cg, or at least try to do so.
Still can't exactly CLICK with them. I still find em a little tough to break.
ANYWAY! Been going to a few new places.
Now i just wanna rest and recover my body.
But bad thing is that i've been drinking WAY too much.
3 days in a row! On friday we spent a LITTLE too much on drinks.
So ya, my stamina is likely to be destroyed.
Gonna go service now. Still relatively tired....

Maxed OUT!

Listening to : Killa

They say a max out point is when your brain is saturated and u can't control anymore.
Think the max out point when we're out of camp is when we have so much fun we can't sleep.
HMMM...THATS HELL FUN!
Ok fine, its a very simple minded thing, the more time spent sleeping, the more time we waste!
Same theory as taking cabs, u buy ur time.
But even still, have been going out the past few days.
To the point its actually draining my sleep away EVERY time!!!
Like the past few days i've been running on like 4 hours of sleep.
Yesterday with only 2.
This is crazy!! But i kinda love it. Yup.

On my birthday one of my good friends tan sijia kinda surprised me!!
In that, i was quite shocked, like really.
I dunno how to explain what she did, maybe u shld just go see her blog yeah!
HAHA, well, all i can say was the my supergirl is also great in organizing the day.
Had a whole lot of fun that day!

Yesterday went out with some of the guys
After that i met one of my long lost friends celine.
Quite funny how we started talking, well, friends like these are quite tough to come by.
Apparently both of us are like experiencing alot of similar things.
OH WELL!!! Its funny.
GONNE GO OUT NOW!!!!!