Listening to : Be On You - Neyo
I was clearing my room these few days.
That's when I stumbled upon something really interesting, or rather, nostalgic.
I saw a small card saying and I quote.
"Wa run until heart damn pain, the feeling shiok right!?".
That was what my old junior quoted. Who said it? I did....
I seldom reminisce the old JC days.
But oh well, sometimes I just can't help it.
It was really a place of victory. The place brings back good fond memories of conquering.
I can't say the same for my previous school or any other place.
I've really got 2 places where I can firmly say are MY places of victory.
One was in the old Jurong West Church and CJC.
These places of victory was when I became something out of nothing.
Where I grew as a person, as an individual.
If you ask me to go back anytime, I definitely will.
I'll ignore all the traveling and time wastages. I'll definitely make the extra trip down.
To feel the walls, to talk to the people.
Thats how I get my inspiration and motivation to go on sometimes.
Everyone should have such a place of comfort, of rest, of confidence.
The place where they conquered the mountains and did the impossible.
The place where you went against all odds and proved to people that you are a CAN DO.
Yes, the place would be littered with many painful memories at times.
But through those painful times come the fruits of your labor.
However, I'm not saying you should live in the past.
Yeah, you gotta move on.
You gotta take that one step at a time to make your present better than the past.
Its nice to imagine how life would be when you look back.
Don't dwell in it...
Make your present place a new place of victory.
Try to move your life up a level!
Don't stay stagnant or worst deteriorate.
Make the effort, take the time, take the pain.
It's worth it, I assure you.
Tuesday, October 06, 2009
I'll be doing just fine
Listening to : Mr Brightside - The Killers
I've always wanted to do what I'm doing now.
Blogging on my bed....
Since I've gotten my new laptop, I've been using my com alot on the bed.
This just excess berates the lazy side of Lionel.
Yes, I am very lazy.
So today I am rather inspired.
Yes I am, in fact by the least likely of all sources.
By a movie. You may think that its really ridiculous.
But the simple theories and concepts of this movie was well, impactful to me.
It gave me the dream and reality that the impossible visions in life shouldn't be left to die.
With much pursuit, it'll be a realized dream if you hold on to it long enough.
What movie was it? Well, believe it or not, it was cloudy and a chance of meatballs.
No it wasn't like 500 days of summer or some other show.
Maybe it was a combination of both my favorites.
Food and Science.
As cliche as it sounds, it was really a good movie worth my money.
The feeling may not be shared with others. In fact, I figured the high and mighty intellects may claim this movie as a waste of time with no meaning and plot.
Sorry but to me, it was very timely.
In fact, when does one really deem himself worthy of a dream or vision?
When do you decide that you have the ability to get up and say that you want this?
I guess its when you just keep persisting and pressing on.
It's a very cliche statement but as true as it is.
You are only as valuable as the heart you put in.
It may not be now, but one day, the proof of your passion is in your pursuit.
You will achieve it.
Many around you will criticized and laugh at you.
You will be ridiculed for the impossible dreams that you have.
Thats the risk about taking the scientific route.
You can go wildly wrong, but thats when you let your imagination run wild.
Thats when inventions and breakthroughs come to pass.
Unlike the many conservative socio-political-arts subjects, where you really can't be laughed at. Many a times, the dreams that many scientist or engineers for that matter are made fun off.
Not trying to flame another faculty or groups of people.
But it is true. Nobody really laughs at ideologies or theories cause its so believable.
Something this believable can never be THAT fun.
Yes, I've had many people laughing at me for well, hoping that one day, Iron Man can be created. Ok, simply put it, I know as much as many cynical minds out there are thinking, Yes it is impossible.
But wouldn't it be great if you indulge in ones desires and dreams instead of putting it down immediately?
By the way, if one day I really do create something that phenomenal and magical.....
I'll stop at there... heh.
So back to the point, yes dreams should be realistic, but won't it be great to aim so high. Yes you will be disappointed with many many failures.
But hey man, whats life without them? I've seen many people ride on their past failures to victory. Thats one trait that I've picked up along these years.
So this whole story points to the very simple fact, your dreams shouldn't be determined by others or by circumstances.
If your dream is the stars, live for that dream and die trying.
Even if you don't reach the stars, you'd have made enough impact to have reached the moon.
Don't give your dreams up. Don't give your future up.
Your future is determined by your actions, control them.
Which also implies, one shouldn't set the course of life at the start of yourself.
I've been clouded recently, my mind has been bogus recently.
In fact, I've been considering mapping it all out.
Now I know, I shouldn't. I should do what I'm doing now.
I'll never know if which dreams take precedence in my life, teaching or engineering.
That I'll leave it to God and well, my decisions I make.
Moving on, in situations like this in life, this is when you really figure out who your true friends are. Are they the people who really support your dream or laugh at it.
Don't attempt to "encourage" if it really isn't sincere.
Not speaking would be alot better. which I've realised.
One person whom I've met for a few years have been very encouraging.
Though we all know the idea of iron man is impossible...
She keeps calling me that.
Everytime that happens, it makes me remember such dreams.
Which isn't totally bad. It makes me feel good about myself.
It makes me realise that the impossible really is doable...
But please, we all do know how to seperate fiction and fact.
I am not REALLY superman.
Such things would just be left to your own discernment.
Anyway, I'm coming to an end. It is getting late....
BERSAMA!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I've always wanted to do what I'm doing now.
Blogging on my bed....
Since I've gotten my new laptop, I've been using my com alot on the bed.
This just excess berates the lazy side of Lionel.
Yes, I am very lazy.
So today I am rather inspired.
Yes I am, in fact by the least likely of all sources.
By a movie. You may think that its really ridiculous.
But the simple theories and concepts of this movie was well, impactful to me.
It gave me the dream and reality that the impossible visions in life shouldn't be left to die.
With much pursuit, it'll be a realized dream if you hold on to it long enough.
What movie was it? Well, believe it or not, it was cloudy and a chance of meatballs.
No it wasn't like 500 days of summer or some other show.
Maybe it was a combination of both my favorites.
Food and Science.
As cliche as it sounds, it was really a good movie worth my money.
The feeling may not be shared with others. In fact, I figured the high and mighty intellects may claim this movie as a waste of time with no meaning and plot.
Sorry but to me, it was very timely.
In fact, when does one really deem himself worthy of a dream or vision?
When do you decide that you have the ability to get up and say that you want this?
I guess its when you just keep persisting and pressing on.
It's a very cliche statement but as true as it is.
You are only as valuable as the heart you put in.
It may not be now, but one day, the proof of your passion is in your pursuit.
You will achieve it.
Many around you will criticized and laugh at you.
You will be ridiculed for the impossible dreams that you have.
Thats the risk about taking the scientific route.
You can go wildly wrong, but thats when you let your imagination run wild.
Thats when inventions and breakthroughs come to pass.
Unlike the many conservative socio-political-arts subjects, where you really can't be laughed at. Many a times, the dreams that many scientist or engineers for that matter are made fun off.
Not trying to flame another faculty or groups of people.
But it is true. Nobody really laughs at ideologies or theories cause its so believable.
Something this believable can never be THAT fun.
Yes, I've had many people laughing at me for well, hoping that one day, Iron Man can be created. Ok, simply put it, I know as much as many cynical minds out there are thinking, Yes it is impossible.
But wouldn't it be great if you indulge in ones desires and dreams instead of putting it down immediately?
By the way, if one day I really do create something that phenomenal and magical.....
I'll stop at there... heh.
So back to the point, yes dreams should be realistic, but won't it be great to aim so high. Yes you will be disappointed with many many failures.
But hey man, whats life without them? I've seen many people ride on their past failures to victory. Thats one trait that I've picked up along these years.
So this whole story points to the very simple fact, your dreams shouldn't be determined by others or by circumstances.
If your dream is the stars, live for that dream and die trying.
Even if you don't reach the stars, you'd have made enough impact to have reached the moon.
Don't give your dreams up. Don't give your future up.
Your future is determined by your actions, control them.
Which also implies, one shouldn't set the course of life at the start of yourself.
I've been clouded recently, my mind has been bogus recently.
In fact, I've been considering mapping it all out.
Now I know, I shouldn't. I should do what I'm doing now.
I'll never know if which dreams take precedence in my life, teaching or engineering.
That I'll leave it to God and well, my decisions I make.
Moving on, in situations like this in life, this is when you really figure out who your true friends are. Are they the people who really support your dream or laugh at it.
Don't attempt to "encourage" if it really isn't sincere.
Not speaking would be alot better. which I've realised.
One person whom I've met for a few years have been very encouraging.
Though we all know the idea of iron man is impossible...
She keeps calling me that.
Everytime that happens, it makes me remember such dreams.
Which isn't totally bad. It makes me feel good about myself.
It makes me realise that the impossible really is doable...
But please, we all do know how to seperate fiction and fact.
I am not REALLY superman.
Such things would just be left to your own discernment.
Anyway, I'm coming to an end. It is getting late....
BERSAMA!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sunday, October 04, 2009
Open up your eyes
Listening to : Talk you down - The Script
Pardon me If I do not portray the typical blog posts about my scheduled life and all.
I realize thats what many blogs do. However, I figured it'll be alot nicer if i speak about issues of it.
If you wanna know what I do, come talk to me. Hohoho.
So... The Earthquake in Sumatra, Philippines and many more places.
Its really very worrying to hear of such natural disasters.
Yeah it is, though we, as a species have advanced so far.
We're still pretty much at the mercy of oh mother nature.
Yes there can be a thousand and one things that we can invent to predict it and all.
We even have wizards who can literally predict the weather.
No, I'm not kidding, if you think I'm kidding about the wizard thing....
I'm not, like there're people who really can predict the weather which I'm really impressed with.
Moving on!!!
It really ain't easy to overcome the forces of mother nature and all.
There's so little we can do.
Though its projectable, its very very unpredictable.
Its so random, yet so powerful, can be a curse or a blessing..
So the next question would definitely arise......
WHY DID THIS HAPPEN IN THE FIRST PLACE???
Well, its something that many whom wish to rebute the beliefs of many would ask.
Why did God or any divine being really allow this??
Is this the end of the world? Is the Armageddon?
I rather not think about it....
Lets start with the theory and the meaning behind it all.
I remember once, somebody said.
If there're no tough times, no bad happenings, how would grace be magnified?
Yes, it is a very far-fetched question.
Means, one would rather allow bad things to happen simply to show the good of something else?
Which also implies (in our civil world) that many jobs are derived.
Very simply put it, if the world was a perfect place. With no crimes.
There won't be the need of policemen. Thus, its a necessary job.
However, would it be better if such crimes never happened? Of course!
Similarly, some things in life can't be helped.
It was not an accident, it was allowed to happen.
It was so that really, the goodness of men can be seen.
Heroes do not emerge when the times are good.
They emerge when the going gets really tough..
Well, I've noticed that many turn a blind eye to such times.
Like in the days going by...
Nobody really cares, honestly.
If you're a singaporean here, You won't care much i guess.
Dismissing the possibility of your friends and family being there.
We are too caught up in the rat race to even consider lending a listening ear.
To even update ourselves on this disaster.
Or at least, thats what I've thought.
The past few days, I've witnessed relief efforts with my own two eyes.
People going the extra mile.
Whether its all show boating or not. The fact is that they are.
I was even involved in a very small way. Which I've come to understand and well, appreciate.
Many people think that the superheroes in our world are those who change society.
The many sociologist and psychiatrist out there.
The presidents, the Prime Ministers.
The commissioner of police, chief of defense forces.
The scientist which events light and all.
However, none of these are worth being called the big of the society.
All of these are all talk no action. Talk talk talk.
What can they really do? They don't get their hands dirty...
The real heroes are those which are out there saving lives.
Putting their lives on the line and all.
It is very very admirable.
That's why I want to make an effort to be like this.
I still want to change the World one man at a time.
Pardon me If I do not portray the typical blog posts about my scheduled life and all.
I realize thats what many blogs do. However, I figured it'll be alot nicer if i speak about issues of it.
If you wanna know what I do, come talk to me. Hohoho.
So... The Earthquake in Sumatra, Philippines and many more places.
Its really very worrying to hear of such natural disasters.
Yeah it is, though we, as a species have advanced so far.
We're still pretty much at the mercy of oh mother nature.
Yes there can be a thousand and one things that we can invent to predict it and all.
We even have wizards who can literally predict the weather.
No, I'm not kidding, if you think I'm kidding about the wizard thing....
I'm not, like there're people who really can predict the weather which I'm really impressed with.
Moving on!!!
It really ain't easy to overcome the forces of mother nature and all.
There's so little we can do.
Though its projectable, its very very unpredictable.
Its so random, yet so powerful, can be a curse or a blessing..
So the next question would definitely arise......
WHY DID THIS HAPPEN IN THE FIRST PLACE???
Well, its something that many whom wish to rebute the beliefs of many would ask.
Why did God or any divine being really allow this??
Is this the end of the world? Is the Armageddon?
I rather not think about it....
Lets start with the theory and the meaning behind it all.
I remember once, somebody said.
If there're no tough times, no bad happenings, how would grace be magnified?
Yes, it is a very far-fetched question.
Means, one would rather allow bad things to happen simply to show the good of something else?
Which also implies (in our civil world) that many jobs are derived.
Very simply put it, if the world was a perfect place. With no crimes.
There won't be the need of policemen. Thus, its a necessary job.
However, would it be better if such crimes never happened? Of course!
Similarly, some things in life can't be helped.
It was not an accident, it was allowed to happen.
It was so that really, the goodness of men can be seen.
Heroes do not emerge when the times are good.
They emerge when the going gets really tough..
Well, I've noticed that many turn a blind eye to such times.
Like in the days going by...
Nobody really cares, honestly.
If you're a singaporean here, You won't care much i guess.
Dismissing the possibility of your friends and family being there.
We are too caught up in the rat race to even consider lending a listening ear.
To even update ourselves on this disaster.
Or at least, thats what I've thought.
The past few days, I've witnessed relief efforts with my own two eyes.
People going the extra mile.
Whether its all show boating or not. The fact is that they are.
I was even involved in a very small way. Which I've come to understand and well, appreciate.
Many people think that the superheroes in our world are those who change society.
The many sociologist and psychiatrist out there.
The presidents, the Prime Ministers.
The commissioner of police, chief of defense forces.
The scientist which events light and all.
However, none of these are worth being called the big of the society.
All of these are all talk no action. Talk talk talk.
What can they really do? They don't get their hands dirty...
The real heroes are those which are out there saving lives.
Putting their lives on the line and all.
It is very very admirable.
That's why I want to make an effort to be like this.
I still want to change the World one man at a time.
Thursday, October 01, 2009
Move your body
Listening to : Body Language - Jesse McCartney
Oh the pain and ache in my legs while running.
It really genuinely is tiring nowadays.
I guess its the transition between sports and running.
I need to keep running!! I need to be reminded to do so too!
So if you see me sleeping or lazing around in the day more than usual...
Please SMACK me or message me telling me to run.
I'll definitely be very appreciative!! :)
That aside, so it seems affection is in the air!!
Well, some have a perception that its bad or something to be wary about.
Some groups get very very excited when someone gets infatuated with someone else!
Its quite a totally different reaction altogether!
In fact, I've got both groups of friends. Some of which treat it like poison, some embrace it like Gold. Its quite funny and entertaining actually.
For me, sorry for all whom have a certain image of me....
But yes, I really enjoy seeing people falling for each other and all.
Yes there are its dangers like not being ready for it, being the rebound girl etc etc.
But think about it! Isn't it really beautiful that someone is so in love with another!?
Well, I've come to realize dangers of it as well. Not saying its all prim and pretty and all.
Yes, the other party may not be feeling the same way towards you.
Yes, there are fears of rejection which could make things awkward.
Yes, it may even be detrimental to your spirit when you're not ready.
Yes, it may just be the wrong girl.
Though its all enjoyable to do so and all, its about how you approach it.
If you really go into in straight head in, you may just fall for sure.
If not, maybe you may come out even stronger.
I would always like to believe the latter. But sometimes it really isn't.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying you should never take the risk.
One should always make the CALCULATED risk in everything they do.
That's how you make better choices in life I guess? Short of praying and all for sure...
You gotta be sure of yourself before you do anything or start anything.
Are you really willing to commit??
Are you even ready emotionally, physically and spiritually?? (emotional baggage and all)
I never really believed in the saying "you're never ready for it, so just go in!!".
Come on, you've always got a chance to be ready.
When's the time? You'll know yourself. Its different for everybody.
Take some time to reflect and think. Cause things could end ugly if you end things on a bad note.
Finish whatever you've started. Don't leave things hanging.
On another note, I'm saying that this is the absolute rule.
I've definitely seen quite pleasant exceptions to this.
People whom really genuinely believe in Love at first sight, my best friend for example....
I'm always shocked by this and quite glad that it turns out this way and not ugly.
For those in it already, strive hard to make it last and make it a fruitful one!
For those whom are considering entering into a commitment, think wisely!
For those whom are starting to sow the seeds of affection, go ahead....
Don't be afraid, don't be fearful, as long as things are not perceived wrongly by another party and by yourself, it won't go really wrong.
Just don't drop wrong signals on many parties.
If that happens, you're just a maggot.
PS. I've got one week before the BIG BIG DAY!!!
Oh the pain and ache in my legs while running.
It really genuinely is tiring nowadays.
I guess its the transition between sports and running.
I need to keep running!! I need to be reminded to do so too!
So if you see me sleeping or lazing around in the day more than usual...
Please SMACK me or message me telling me to run.
I'll definitely be very appreciative!! :)
That aside, so it seems affection is in the air!!
Well, some have a perception that its bad or something to be wary about.
Some groups get very very excited when someone gets infatuated with someone else!
Its quite a totally different reaction altogether!
In fact, I've got both groups of friends. Some of which treat it like poison, some embrace it like Gold. Its quite funny and entertaining actually.
For me, sorry for all whom have a certain image of me....
But yes, I really enjoy seeing people falling for each other and all.
Yes there are its dangers like not being ready for it, being the rebound girl etc etc.
But think about it! Isn't it really beautiful that someone is so in love with another!?
Well, I've come to realize dangers of it as well. Not saying its all prim and pretty and all.
Yes, the other party may not be feeling the same way towards you.
Yes, there are fears of rejection which could make things awkward.
Yes, it may even be detrimental to your spirit when you're not ready.
Yes, it may just be the wrong girl.
Though its all enjoyable to do so and all, its about how you approach it.
If you really go into in straight head in, you may just fall for sure.
If not, maybe you may come out even stronger.
I would always like to believe the latter. But sometimes it really isn't.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying you should never take the risk.
One should always make the CALCULATED risk in everything they do.
That's how you make better choices in life I guess? Short of praying and all for sure...
You gotta be sure of yourself before you do anything or start anything.
Are you really willing to commit??
Are you even ready emotionally, physically and spiritually?? (emotional baggage and all)
I never really believed in the saying "you're never ready for it, so just go in!!".
Come on, you've always got a chance to be ready.
When's the time? You'll know yourself. Its different for everybody.
Take some time to reflect and think. Cause things could end ugly if you end things on a bad note.
Finish whatever you've started. Don't leave things hanging.
On another note, I'm saying that this is the absolute rule.
I've definitely seen quite pleasant exceptions to this.
People whom really genuinely believe in Love at first sight, my best friend for example....
I'm always shocked by this and quite glad that it turns out this way and not ugly.
For those in it already, strive hard to make it last and make it a fruitful one!
For those whom are considering entering into a commitment, think wisely!
For those whom are starting to sow the seeds of affection, go ahead....
Don't be afraid, don't be fearful, as long as things are not perceived wrongly by another party and by yourself, it won't go really wrong.
Just don't drop wrong signals on many parties.
If that happens, you're just a maggot.
PS. I've got one week before the BIG BIG DAY!!!
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Oh its you
Listening to : Under Control - Parachute
Its been a strange long time since I've been off early in the afternoon after morning shift.
Well, I didn't really have much to do. In fact, I had nothing to do.
I still found myself surprisingly fulfilled.
Running, Printing, Shopping for things. Errands basically.
Thats what I had to do.
However, I still felt good after all of that.
I remember the exam times. When it was really really tough.
Many are going through that right about now.
In fact, my heart really goes out to them. Yes it ain't easy.
But hey man, the fruits of your labour are beyond description. You'll be more satisfied than normal
I'll do all I can to make sure that any one person gets his motivation to do well.
Especially one close to me.
Speaking of which... Its off to work for me!!!
Its been a strange long time since I've been off early in the afternoon after morning shift.
Well, I didn't really have much to do. In fact, I had nothing to do.
I still found myself surprisingly fulfilled.
Running, Printing, Shopping for things. Errands basically.
Thats what I had to do.
However, I still felt good after all of that.
I remember the exam times. When it was really really tough.
Many are going through that right about now.
In fact, my heart really goes out to them. Yes it ain't easy.
But hey man, the fruits of your labour are beyond description. You'll be more satisfied than normal
I'll do all I can to make sure that any one person gets his motivation to do well.
Especially one close to me.
Speaking of which... Its off to work for me!!!
Monday, September 28, 2009
Let me Love you
Listening to : Cool - Gwen Stefani
It takes some time to really figure and get out of an 'emo rut'
Well, one is defined as being well, the biggest idiot on Earth.
You may have all the reason to act or behave in such a way.
However, at the end of the day, you can just tell yourself you were an idiot.
There're many reasons which can trigger such a rut. Examples of which would be...
Waking up too early / Grumpy.
Not enough sleep.
Waiting too long.
Being too tired.
Being offended by another party.
Notice none of these are symptoms of such a case.
How to get out of it??
You just stop taking self pity and get on with life. Cause you being such an idiot would not only make yourself feel worst but make others around you feel uncomfortable.
By being in such a rut, you just become extremely selfish.
You ignore the feelings of others and care only for yourself.
Being unable to hide your emotions is not a legitimate reason.
It just means you're childish.
You're an adult adolescent.
Before you start rebutting and saying that whatever stated above is incorrect.
You'll realise that you're already being ridiculously defensive and ignorant.
Thereafter, you start to take the offensive.
Which, if you actually let loose and speak your mind, will in turn, hurt others.
The damage you do will make you feel WORST and thus creating a very viscous cycle of self pity and then depression.
As strange as it seems. Everyone can be tempted and fall into this trap.
Yes, Everyone can. Don't look to your left or right.
You can be part of the sad sad viscous cycle.
The key is not to fall into this pit to begin with. How??
Base your life on things which will not let you down. Base your integrity and confidence on it.
What else can be more stable than that of God?
It may seem trivial.
But thats the best option you've got, why hesitate now?
Take the plunge and give it a shot.
If you think you don't experience it, you're wrong.
It can come in small or big packages. Many have overcome them and moved on.
But some sad few cases leave scars in their hearts and souls. It becomes painful after a while.
Then it'll affect your physique and health.
Yes, it strangely does.
If you're thinking that you're not going to go through this.
Think again.
Cause I have.
I just have.
It takes some time to really figure and get out of an 'emo rut'
Well, one is defined as being well, the biggest idiot on Earth.
You may have all the reason to act or behave in such a way.
However, at the end of the day, you can just tell yourself you were an idiot.
There're many reasons which can trigger such a rut. Examples of which would be...
Waking up too early / Grumpy.
Not enough sleep.
Waiting too long.
Being too tired.
Being offended by another party.
Notice none of these are symptoms of such a case.
How to get out of it??
You just stop taking self pity and get on with life. Cause you being such an idiot would not only make yourself feel worst but make others around you feel uncomfortable.
By being in such a rut, you just become extremely selfish.
You ignore the feelings of others and care only for yourself.
Being unable to hide your emotions is not a legitimate reason.
It just means you're childish.
You're an adult adolescent.
Before you start rebutting and saying that whatever stated above is incorrect.
You'll realise that you're already being ridiculously defensive and ignorant.
Thereafter, you start to take the offensive.
Which, if you actually let loose and speak your mind, will in turn, hurt others.
The damage you do will make you feel WORST and thus creating a very viscous cycle of self pity and then depression.
As strange as it seems. Everyone can be tempted and fall into this trap.
Yes, Everyone can. Don't look to your left or right.
You can be part of the sad sad viscous cycle.
The key is not to fall into this pit to begin with. How??
Base your life on things which will not let you down. Base your integrity and confidence on it.
What else can be more stable than that of God?
It may seem trivial.
But thats the best option you've got, why hesitate now?
Take the plunge and give it a shot.
If you think you don't experience it, you're wrong.
It can come in small or big packages. Many have overcome them and moved on.
But some sad few cases leave scars in their hearts and souls. It becomes painful after a while.
Then it'll affect your physique and health.
Yes, it strangely does.
If you're thinking that you're not going to go through this.
Think again.
Cause I have.
I just have.
Sunday, September 27, 2009
quicken yourself
Listening to : Undisclosed desires - Muse
I'm quite surprised by the viewership of this blog. In fact, I expected many not to know of its existence. But well, it was quite on the contrary.
So I've been very active recently. Or rather, I'm glad that things are coming around for the better.
The group from 5 is slowly growing. Which is quite amazing.
People are being used in ways which I can't begin to explain.
Yes, times may be tough and some believe that the reason for committing may differ from the norm. However, I've never succumbed to the simple stereotype of how a 'christian' should be.
One passage which has really impacted me was the simple idea of Jesus eating with the tax collectors. It may seem quite strange and profound but it was as simple as that.
Jesus didn't care who you were or where you were from.
He cared that you were here.
Many a times, people always grumble or complain that there're too little people for a party, an outreach or whatever event there is.
I mean, whats planned is planned. If the turnout ain't good...
What do we normally react with??
I'm sure as a person of authority, the initial reaction is FLIP!
Why're there so LITTLE??
But I've come to realise that really, the numbers are important yes, but I'm sure that those present are more important than the missing numbers.
They should be honored.
No point crying over spilled milk.
That's to put it as simple as it is.
On the contrary, the people whom are present should never be discriminated.
Yes, they may not be like you or me,
they may not have the same history and background, but they're as they are!
Maybe I've grown to accept this with my history of connect group members.
Ranging from the secondary school boys, the non-english-speaking hostelites and even till now, those whom have fallen background.
I'm somehow a magnet to these people.
Its strange, even dangerous at times, but I'm glad that they come.
That aside, I'm rather burnt. Very burnt in fact.
The color after the recovery process should be quite pleasing though.
I've always wondered, and I'm sure I've said this before,
what would life be like if Lionel wasn't a sportsmen.
Would I have done this good and well would I have been fit and not fat?
I honestly don't know. But yes, I rather stay on the safe side.
I can't stop exercising, I doubt I ever will as well.
Total opposite from my brother I suppose.
The future is still a mystery.
Life is still unstable.
But thats where the fun kicks in aye??
I'm quite surprised by the viewership of this blog. In fact, I expected many not to know of its existence. But well, it was quite on the contrary.
So I've been very active recently. Or rather, I'm glad that things are coming around for the better.
The group from 5 is slowly growing. Which is quite amazing.
People are being used in ways which I can't begin to explain.
Yes, times may be tough and some believe that the reason for committing may differ from the norm. However, I've never succumbed to the simple stereotype of how a 'christian' should be.
One passage which has really impacted me was the simple idea of Jesus eating with the tax collectors. It may seem quite strange and profound but it was as simple as that.
Jesus didn't care who you were or where you were from.
He cared that you were here.
Many a times, people always grumble or complain that there're too little people for a party, an outreach or whatever event there is.
I mean, whats planned is planned. If the turnout ain't good...
What do we normally react with??
I'm sure as a person of authority, the initial reaction is FLIP!
Why're there so LITTLE??
But I've come to realise that really, the numbers are important yes, but I'm sure that those present are more important than the missing numbers.
They should be honored.
No point crying over spilled milk.
That's to put it as simple as it is.
On the contrary, the people whom are present should never be discriminated.
Yes, they may not be like you or me,
they may not have the same history and background, but they're as they are!
Maybe I've grown to accept this with my history of connect group members.
Ranging from the secondary school boys, the non-english-speaking hostelites and even till now, those whom have fallen background.
I'm somehow a magnet to these people.
Its strange, even dangerous at times, but I'm glad that they come.
That aside, I'm rather burnt. Very burnt in fact.
The color after the recovery process should be quite pleasing though.
I've always wondered, and I'm sure I've said this before,
what would life be like if Lionel wasn't a sportsmen.
Would I have done this good and well would I have been fit and not fat?
I honestly don't know. But yes, I rather stay on the safe side.
I can't stop exercising, I doubt I ever will as well.
Total opposite from my brother I suppose.
The future is still a mystery.
Life is still unstable.
But thats where the fun kicks in aye??
Friday, September 25, 2009
dreams that i dream
Listening to : Hey Soul Sister - Train
I've spent my day strangely fruitfully.
I didn't do what I intended to. But its still good. I'm easily satisfied.
Give me food some company and entertainment. I'll be quite happy for the day.
Though I may demand more at times. But I'm ok with any form of shortages.
I'm easily satisfied.
So I am......
I've spent my day strangely fruitfully.
I didn't do what I intended to. But its still good. I'm easily satisfied.
Give me food some company and entertainment. I'll be quite happy for the day.
Though I may demand more at times. But I'm ok with any form of shortages.
I'm easily satisfied.
So I am......
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Don't be afraid of your destiny
Listening to : Meant to be
It was with mixed emotions in today's eventful PM. I have to admit it was quite sudden.
A little miscommunication here and there. However, I'm glad i went for it.
I figured that going would really help me and inspire me.
It worked. Sorry if i sound like some infant or so.
But yes, sometimes even people like me need to be reminded of how important it is to be refreshed once in a while.
The PM was quite well, down to Earth. It felt as though I was pulled back into reality and smacked down to Earth. I look HIGH and LOW for so many things to do when everything is really in front.
I didn't need to look far.
Those people whose shoes i need to fit in are all right here.
Alvan is leaving for Brunei.
It used to be the 3 of us. Mark alvan me when we hung out.
Not saying we're exclusive of any sort.
However, it was quite comforting to know that you've got buddies by your side.
Though through our army years we've all grown and changed.
Alvan is in army and found commitments. Mark has Rachel.
Either way, I'm quite sure that we'll all stick around.
Not forgetting the U-U-USA trip!!
I can't wait for that man. Going there to really unwind with Mark.
Something also came to my mind,
is clubbing really wrong? Is it really?
I mean, you must think I'm one insane idiot to ask such a question.
Lionel's quite a hypocrite eh.... Or something like that.
But I've just realised many people are turning to it.
Guess its a phase of life. Can't say I'm totally over it but the bulk is over i guess.
Leading the high life and all.
To me, its all good, no matter what they say, its good as long as you maintain control with moderation. Yup.
Don't have much things to reflect about today. So keeping it short. Need more inspiration to blooogggggg
It was with mixed emotions in today's eventful PM. I have to admit it was quite sudden.
A little miscommunication here and there. However, I'm glad i went for it.
I figured that going would really help me and inspire me.
It worked. Sorry if i sound like some infant or so.
But yes, sometimes even people like me need to be reminded of how important it is to be refreshed once in a while.
The PM was quite well, down to Earth. It felt as though I was pulled back into reality and smacked down to Earth. I look HIGH and LOW for so many things to do when everything is really in front.
I didn't need to look far.
Those people whose shoes i need to fit in are all right here.
Alvan is leaving for Brunei.
It used to be the 3 of us. Mark alvan me when we hung out.
Not saying we're exclusive of any sort.
However, it was quite comforting to know that you've got buddies by your side.
Though through our army years we've all grown and changed.
Alvan is in army and found commitments. Mark has Rachel.
Either way, I'm quite sure that we'll all stick around.
Not forgetting the U-U-USA trip!!
I can't wait for that man. Going there to really unwind with Mark.
Something also came to my mind,
is clubbing really wrong? Is it really?
I mean, you must think I'm one insane idiot to ask such a question.
Lionel's quite a hypocrite eh.... Or something like that.
But I've just realised many people are turning to it.
Guess its a phase of life. Can't say I'm totally over it but the bulk is over i guess.
Leading the high life and all.
To me, its all good, no matter what they say, its good as long as you maintain control with moderation. Yup.
Don't have much things to reflect about today. So keeping it short. Need more inspiration to blooogggggg
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
I hope.........
Listening to : Starstrukk - 3OH!3
Trying to map out my life and where its actually headed to.
There're a thousand and one questions floating around in my head as to where, what, how, why should i do in life. Some of them can be answered real easily, some can't....
Believe it or not, I'm actually gonna ORD soon.
I've done a little reflection and I have to admit.
My NS life hasn't been the most glorifying and happening amongst the others.I do thank god for sure for the easy life that God has blessed me with.
In fact, only recently, my dad asked me whether I was stress at work.
Then it hit me, I haven't really been 'stressed' before. Everything I did or wanted to do was in control.
Even the toughest time of the dreadful A levels were easily overcome with strong planning done on me and my friends part.
I wonder how life would be when bad things do happen to me...
Yes there have been instances where life has been quite rough but never STRESSFUL.
I guess I have to wait for ORD and for me to start working.
Which then made me realise how unprepared I am for the coming future.
Whether I'm able to overcome them all when things really do come crashing down.
Will I really be able to survive the tough waves???
I would like to think that I have changed dramatically the past few months I stopped blogging.
I do apologize for the adrupt and sudden breaks from blogging. However, I do think its necessary for me to keep this Blog going. Its when I really want to pen my thoughts down which is when I blog.
Back to the topic.... I really would love to imagine that I have changed. However, I believe it is on the contrary. I have either not changed or really simply stagnated.
Perhaps it is just me. Perhaps I'm just imagining things.
But I'm shocked and pleased that I have yet to give up living life. I'm thankful God hasn't given up. I'm thankful my closest friends haven't given up on me. I'm thankful shiming never will.
The past few months can be pretty much described as really a hilly road with many many speed limiting strips.
Its been rather rocky and very uncertain.
There are days, weeks and even months where I really feel drained out, feeling that what I do can hardly make a difference in the world and the lives of loved ones.
Concurrently, there're times where I feel that I have the entire world at my doorsteps. I feel that I have so much to discover, so much to do, so many to impact.
However, the rubbish thing is that though both happens, both equals out. I don't feel like I'm moving both back and forward.
Maybe I should try to cry out for a breakthrough....
I have tried many times in fact, however, many a times to no avail.
I know that there's a time and place for everything and I really choose to believe that.
But it'll be great if that time is now. I know what MANY will say, i determine my own destiny.
Yes i know, be my own hero. I've always been inspired by such words.
How I wish I could live like that.... How easy it would be to continue this sentence with "How I wish I could live like that once again". I never believed in going back into the past. I never will.
So what should I do? Keep on keeping on? Keep fighting the good fight of Faith?
Of course I will. I'll do all it takes to move forward. Though I may be heading down at times, I never doubted the fact that I'll always bounce back up. Thats what keeps me going on.
I do hope that in this time, I'm being used in greater ways than I have ever imagined.
I hope that 40 by dec, 8 by dec can come to past.
I hope that I'm able to inspire others into changing.
I hope that I'm able to run like never before and determine my future and not the other way around.
I hope that the loved ones around me know that they're my loved ones.
I hope that if you're reading this, you know that you're likely my loved one....
NG SHIMING, I hope that when you see this, you'll know that I run for you. :)
Trying to map out my life and where its actually headed to.
There're a thousand and one questions floating around in my head as to where, what, how, why should i do in life. Some of them can be answered real easily, some can't....
Believe it or not, I'm actually gonna ORD soon.
I've done a little reflection and I have to admit.
My NS life hasn't been the most glorifying and happening amongst the others.I do thank god for sure for the easy life that God has blessed me with.
In fact, only recently, my dad asked me whether I was stress at work.
Then it hit me, I haven't really been 'stressed' before. Everything I did or wanted to do was in control.
Even the toughest time of the dreadful A levels were easily overcome with strong planning done on me and my friends part.
I wonder how life would be when bad things do happen to me...
Yes there have been instances where life has been quite rough but never STRESSFUL.
I guess I have to wait for ORD and for me to start working.
Which then made me realise how unprepared I am for the coming future.
Whether I'm able to overcome them all when things really do come crashing down.
Will I really be able to survive the tough waves???
I would like to think that I have changed dramatically the past few months I stopped blogging.
I do apologize for the adrupt and sudden breaks from blogging. However, I do think its necessary for me to keep this Blog going. Its when I really want to pen my thoughts down which is when I blog.
Back to the topic.... I really would love to imagine that I have changed. However, I believe it is on the contrary. I have either not changed or really simply stagnated.
Perhaps it is just me. Perhaps I'm just imagining things.
But I'm shocked and pleased that I have yet to give up living life. I'm thankful God hasn't given up. I'm thankful my closest friends haven't given up on me. I'm thankful shiming never will.
The past few months can be pretty much described as really a hilly road with many many speed limiting strips.
Its been rather rocky and very uncertain.
There are days, weeks and even months where I really feel drained out, feeling that what I do can hardly make a difference in the world and the lives of loved ones.
Concurrently, there're times where I feel that I have the entire world at my doorsteps. I feel that I have so much to discover, so much to do, so many to impact.
However, the rubbish thing is that though both happens, both equals out. I don't feel like I'm moving both back and forward.
Maybe I should try to cry out for a breakthrough....
I have tried many times in fact, however, many a times to no avail.
I know that there's a time and place for everything and I really choose to believe that.
But it'll be great if that time is now. I know what MANY will say, i determine my own destiny.
Yes i know, be my own hero. I've always been inspired by such words.
How I wish I could live like that.... How easy it would be to continue this sentence with "How I wish I could live like that once again". I never believed in going back into the past. I never will.
So what should I do? Keep on keeping on? Keep fighting the good fight of Faith?
Of course I will. I'll do all it takes to move forward. Though I may be heading down at times, I never doubted the fact that I'll always bounce back up. Thats what keeps me going on.
I do hope that in this time, I'm being used in greater ways than I have ever imagined.
I hope that 40 by dec, 8 by dec can come to past.
I hope that I'm able to inspire others into changing.
I hope that I'm able to run like never before and determine my future and not the other way around.
I hope that the loved ones around me know that they're my loved ones.
I hope that if you're reading this, you know that you're likely my loved one....
NG SHIMING, I hope that when you see this, you'll know that I run for you. :)
Sunday, August 09, 2009
Believe for a vision
Listening to : Never say never - The Fray
Something is really wrong with my blogger. I can't seem to change the fonts / colour and basically everything. Which is really irritating. So if this post doesn't come out the way its supposed to be. Please don't blame me.
So it's been a while. I can't say MUCH has changed for me. However, I have to say some things in life has seemed to stable down. Some things got more important. Some things just seemed to fade.
I'm not too proud of some of the things I've done or not done.
I also can't say that I've lived out an extremely purposeful life the past 2 months or so.
Well, what I'm sure of is that I wouldn't want to change a single thing that has happened.
Be it good or bad, I'm quite happy with the way things are.
Yeah sure I could've been a better guy if things were different.
You'll never know. But the great thing is that at least I can sleep happily.
Now ain't the best time of my life. But I'm quite happy and glad to give thanks.
Hopefully I'm able to arise from this stronger and tougher.
However, I'm still as headstrong as ever. I wanna do the things that I WANNA do. I can't be bothered what others think or care.
Just believing for a stronger future.
Now believing ain't enough, action needs to be done. So things to do......
1) RUN
2) Pray
3) SLEEP
4) Love.
It is as simple as it gets. If i just do these 4 things. I'm quite sure most of the issues in my life would be erradicated.
Life was never a bed of roses. In fact, it was more of the contrary. I can't seem to find out why. Bad things happen to good people. But still like what I said earlier. I FORCE myself to give thanks.
The top 2 words in my life now is not to worry and to give thanks.
What can I give thanks for??
Well, for one, in front of my run down computer, there's a collage of pictures covering the window. Of which are many many friends. Some of which I haven't seen in a while. Some of which I still keep close contact with.
However, I'm quite sure I can still count on EVERY single one of them to give me a hand when the need really arises.
Thats what I can be thankful about.
Something is really wrong with my blogger. I can't seem to change the fonts / colour and basically everything. Which is really irritating. So if this post doesn't come out the way its supposed to be. Please don't blame me.
So it's been a while. I can't say MUCH has changed for me. However, I have to say some things in life has seemed to stable down. Some things got more important. Some things just seemed to fade.
I'm not too proud of some of the things I've done or not done.
I also can't say that I've lived out an extremely purposeful life the past 2 months or so.
Well, what I'm sure of is that I wouldn't want to change a single thing that has happened.
Be it good or bad, I'm quite happy with the way things are.
Yeah sure I could've been a better guy if things were different.
You'll never know. But the great thing is that at least I can sleep happily.
Now ain't the best time of my life. But I'm quite happy and glad to give thanks.
Hopefully I'm able to arise from this stronger and tougher.
However, I'm still as headstrong as ever. I wanna do the things that I WANNA do. I can't be bothered what others think or care.
Just believing for a stronger future.
Now believing ain't enough, action needs to be done. So things to do......
1) RUN
2) Pray
3) SLEEP
4) Love.
It is as simple as it gets. If i just do these 4 things. I'm quite sure most of the issues in my life would be erradicated.
Life was never a bed of roses. In fact, it was more of the contrary. I can't seem to find out why. Bad things happen to good people. But still like what I said earlier. I FORCE myself to give thanks.
The top 2 words in my life now is not to worry and to give thanks.
What can I give thanks for??
Well, for one, in front of my run down computer, there's a collage of pictures covering the window. Of which are many many friends. Some of which I haven't seen in a while. Some of which I still keep close contact with.
However, I'm quite sure I can still count on EVERY single one of them to give me a hand when the need really arises.
Thats what I can be thankful about.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Friday, June 26, 2009
MJ
Listening to : Black or White - Michael Jackson
The King of Pop is dead.
I never really listened to his songs, but I do know he was really amazing.
He went through alot and well, he died.
Too bad man.
However, his music lives on!!!!
Thousand and one artists are trying to duplicate what he's done.
Quite a tall feat but yeah, I can say I lived to at least watch him.
The King of Pop is dead.
I never really listened to his songs, but I do know he was really amazing.
He went through alot and well, he died.
Too bad man.
However, his music lives on!!!!
Thousand and one artists are trying to duplicate what he's done.
Quite a tall feat but yeah, I can say I lived to at least watch him.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Moving on
Listening to : No Boundaries - Adam Lambert
So it seems things have finally been settling down.
Its getting back to the usual cycles of work and church.
Not that I'm complaining or anything. I'm actually quite satisfied by this organisation.
How bad can it get?
Anyway, I figured that the times we spend trying to make something happen can actually be used to do something more useful.
There's just more to this life.
I know it...
It isn't like my time is coming or anything.
But there is something more meaningful rather than just chasing after money, a good life etc.
More to that in life i guess.
I'm still in the midst of searching for that one thing.
That doesn't mean I ain't going to stop having fun though. WOOHOO!!!
RWC is coming up this Sunday. I'm quite happy its coming.
Next Monday the new 2LTs come in.
That only means, 4 months to ORD.
Think i'm going to stop blogging for a while. Can't find much time to do so nowadays.
Till whenever!!!
So it seems things have finally been settling down.
Its getting back to the usual cycles of work and church.
Not that I'm complaining or anything. I'm actually quite satisfied by this organisation.
How bad can it get?
Anyway, I figured that the times we spend trying to make something happen can actually be used to do something more useful.
There's just more to this life.
I know it...
It isn't like my time is coming or anything.
But there is something more meaningful rather than just chasing after money, a good life etc.
More to that in life i guess.
I'm still in the midst of searching for that one thing.
That doesn't mean I ain't going to stop having fun though. WOOHOO!!!
RWC is coming up this Sunday. I'm quite happy its coming.
Next Monday the new 2LTs come in.
That only means, 4 months to ORD.
Think i'm going to stop blogging for a while. Can't find much time to do so nowadays.
Till whenever!!!
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Escaped
Listening to : The Escapist - Coldplay
In all that I've done, in all that i've felt guilty and not worthy for it.
It seems I have been wrong all this while, it has always been on the contrary.
I am worth it.
It takes one step to realise it. It takes one encounter to understand it.
That was LOUD! camp.
I cannot begin to describe the activities that we had.
All of them were amazing and were extremely fun.
I'm sure many others would be blogging about their experiences in camp and what they did.
I wanna talk about how i felt.
From the start of day 1, it was already a moment of pressure.
I was uncertain, tired, afriad.
Afraid that I would lag behind and not be able to perform the role as a team leader to the best i could. It was a realy scare for me actually.
Entering the school, driving in (Yes, I passed!!), it was really hitting me quite hard.
I wanted it to end fast, to end quick.
I can only thank god that I had 2 pillars whom really made me feel otherwise when it started.
Derrick and Yiling. Many say that without leaders, we cannot function.
I needed them, they were there, Leaders cannot function without the assistance of their wingers.
Its really true. And cause of that, I was at peace and went all out for it.
The games, the cheering, I took on the role as a help to my dearest.
To lead the house when they needed it. I'm sure DAMIKA was awesome.
The first night session was a good experience but my fleshly body took over as i dozed off.
The second day started with a high already. With a sense of explosiveness taking over.
It was like never before, I was really excited for it. I wanted to see miracles.
I was not disappointed. DAMA was together, more than I had expected.
I was pleased, glad, not exactly proud of myself but rather proud of them.
They stepped out to make it feel at home and comfortable for the newer ones.
Though their reactions were not similar to that in the house, still, I was contented.
Then came the highlight for me. The second night session.
I was desperate. I wanted a solid, strong, breakthrough.
I really wanted to escape from this tough cycle and be back on.
It wasn't easy, it isn't easy to define and line out as well, however, I knew wherever I was going wasn't really in the right direction.
On that fateful night, I got what I asked for, an encounter in which I have never experienced before. One so strong, so intense I was forced to the ground, unable to rise.
It was real, it is too late to deny God now, it really is, I have experienced.
Surprisingly, it didn't bring me back to me old days or make me think about it.
What I felt was new wineskin, new touch, new start.
The third and final day was all high for me.
It was a point where I could not turn back.
From the start till the end, there was a total change within.
I began to press in to their lives, finding out what's wrong.
What's their life about. I did, I can say I brought something back.
It wasn't all shouting and screaming. Yes it was.
But it was about getting LOUD. It was about becoming LOUD.
It was about realising that I'm more than worthy for it all.
In all that I've done, in all that i've felt guilty and not worthy for it.
It seems I have been wrong all this while, it has always been on the contrary.
I am worth it.
It takes one step to realise it. It takes one encounter to understand it.
That was LOUD! camp.
I cannot begin to describe the activities that we had.
All of them were amazing and were extremely fun.
I'm sure many others would be blogging about their experiences in camp and what they did.
I wanna talk about how i felt.
From the start of day 1, it was already a moment of pressure.
I was uncertain, tired, afriad.
Afraid that I would lag behind and not be able to perform the role as a team leader to the best i could. It was a realy scare for me actually.
Entering the school, driving in (Yes, I passed!!), it was really hitting me quite hard.
I wanted it to end fast, to end quick.
I can only thank god that I had 2 pillars whom really made me feel otherwise when it started.
Derrick and Yiling. Many say that without leaders, we cannot function.
I needed them, they were there, Leaders cannot function without the assistance of their wingers.
Its really true. And cause of that, I was at peace and went all out for it.
The games, the cheering, I took on the role as a help to my dearest.
To lead the house when they needed it. I'm sure DAMIKA was awesome.
The first night session was a good experience but my fleshly body took over as i dozed off.
The second day started with a high already. With a sense of explosiveness taking over.
It was like never before, I was really excited for it. I wanted to see miracles.
I was not disappointed. DAMA was together, more than I had expected.
I was pleased, glad, not exactly proud of myself but rather proud of them.
They stepped out to make it feel at home and comfortable for the newer ones.
Though their reactions were not similar to that in the house, still, I was contented.
Then came the highlight for me. The second night session.
I was desperate. I wanted a solid, strong, breakthrough.
I really wanted to escape from this tough cycle and be back on.
It wasn't easy, it isn't easy to define and line out as well, however, I knew wherever I was going wasn't really in the right direction.
On that fateful night, I got what I asked for, an encounter in which I have never experienced before. One so strong, so intense I was forced to the ground, unable to rise.
It was real, it is too late to deny God now, it really is, I have experienced.
Surprisingly, it didn't bring me back to me old days or make me think about it.
What I felt was new wineskin, new touch, new start.
The third and final day was all high for me.
It was a point where I could not turn back.
From the start till the end, there was a total change within.
I began to press in to their lives, finding out what's wrong.
What's their life about. I did, I can say I brought something back.
It wasn't all shouting and screaming. Yes it was.
But it was about getting LOUD. It was about becoming LOUD.
It was about realising that I'm more than worthy for it all.
Sunday, May 31, 2009
pain pain pain
Listening to : 7 Things - Miley Cirus
I'm relatively satisfied with myself. I have accomplished my first feat of the year.
Yes, I have RAN 42 KM! Can you believe it? I can't myself. I really can't.
I admit, i wasn't really mentally and physically prepared. Like the night before was quite hectic.
It was a rush there, little warm up done.
But when it all boiled down and when i crossed the start line. Its make or break!
I would try to narrate the entire night of SUNDOWN MARATHON!
It started out as a relatively cool and quiet night.
My and my bro took a cab to the start point, changi village.
However, while reaching, we noticed something terrifying, we saw runners runninng back and the stretch of road leading up to the end seemed never ending. Then i knew, we were in for a night.
Thereafter, we met rhon and alvin, deposited out bags and began the short but vital warm up.
I wasn't exactly excited nor scared. I was more calm and thought it was another run at night.
However, i forgot that I have clocked only a max of 15km in one run before.
It was all energy when we walked to the start line. Then the countdown for the race started.
When we crossed the line, we started with a good pace. I was quite comfortable with it, alot slower than my usual pace.
We ran in a pack, me rhon alvin and my bro. Towards the 7 km mark, wee started to lose sight of rhon, then we realised, it was inevitable.
The run continued and then i went ahead of my bro and alvin.
I took constant blind spot turn to make sure they were in sight. When i realised they were too far behind, i slowed down. To my surprise, Alvin was left behind. SO it was just me and my bro.
It was a good pace all the way till 12 km! I was quite impressed actually.
However, this was when the pain hit. My bro first in his knee.
Then we had intervals or running and walking all the way till 16 km.
Then my cramp came. Was quite thankful i spotted it early and stretched up.
Though it was alot slower, it was still a relatively good pace all the way till 22 km. Then both our legs were screaming out in pain. WHY WHY WHY??
So we took a 3 km walk. WHICH WAS REALLY SLOW!
Then we kicked off again at the 25km mark. However, my bro really didn't want to start.
Thus, I went ahead.
However, it was pure struggle. Ok, if you don't get what i mean. IT WAS PURE STRUGGLE!
My legs were really cramping up coupled with stitches.
It was really really painful and tiring to push on. I myself had to alternate between slow walks and slow jogs all the way till 27 km.
Then came the banana. I BEGGED for it. I took 2 bites and threw it aside.
I then started to be in a small state of shock.
I sat down for a while trying to recover my legs.
The worst thing was, i started to fall asleep! I hate night runs....
After that junction, I pushed on, the next 3 km went relatively well. I had in mind to push all the way to 32 km. However, my body wouldn't allow.
I had to stop once in a while to let my legs rest. Passing the 30 km, the biggest pain hit.
My sole of my foot started to really really really ache up.
I didn't know why myself, it was really bad! It must've been the constant pressure on it.
The next 2 km was then the worst passing Bedok.
Yes, I clearly remember, THIS WAS THE WORST PART! I really couldn't take it. I didn't know how i'll survive the rest of the run.
After hitting 32km. I attempted to try more all the way till 34 km.
Then we reached a car park. This was then the culmination of pain.
My heart, stitches, sole, legs were all in pain. I really needed some sort of help badly.
This was when the magic cream came. DEEP HEAT!
After applying it, it felt like it numbed my leg. So i pushed on.
It went on well passing 35 km with another deep heat station. Then when it was 37 km.
At this point. I had no more fuel in myself. I squeezed a bit of gel and hoped it'll help.
It did for a while but I realised it because I had no more strength or energy.
i was starting to fail mentally. Though it was only 5 km left. I just couldn't move.
it was the WALL! So yes, I just started to walk.
It was then the song "7 things" played.
Somehow, I remembered my supergirl.
I thought of how it was when at the finish line she'll be there waiting for my back in the JC days.
I somehow carried that hope that she'll be there at the end.
Some adrenaline rush hit some time after. I just ran all the way till 4 km.
I could see the end.
Here was when the long stretch into changi village started.
In the cab on the way to the start point, i saw many people walking.
Now I'm one of them. So I struggled and pushed on waling and running all the way till 2 km!
Though it was really the end, I had NO MORE ENERGY left.
I couldn't take it anymore. Though i wanted to give it some push.
I realised then, how much effort I have given the past 40KM!
I decided, Its now or never. I thought of shiming and how its an achievement to myself and her.
I gave it all. However, all that I had somehow seemed really slow.
It was 500m left i think, then i saw a bridge. I GOT CHEATED! They sealed the bridge and the end point was somewhere else. i almost fainted.
I did that detour and even till the last 200m. I was struggling to walk properly.
However, when i saw the end, i Just gave it all.
The whole run flashed back, from the beginning pace, till the mid point walk, to the struggle at the end, till the finale when my supergirl gave my my strength.
I dashed ahead, opened my strides, gave a smile as cameras flashed when i crossed the finish line.
The strange thing then happend. I was really in shock then.
Bodily shock at least. I couldn't believe what had happened. I had to be directed by marshallers.
I entered some athletes welfar area and was greeted by annabelle to my surprise. She of all people. Well, it was better than nothing.
I grabbed the stuff, walked out and finally.
I sat down, took out my shoes and massaged my foot.
Oh the pleasure......
At the end, it wasn't about how long i took,
it was my first. I think my last. However, it was a real achievement.
It was about finishing strong. I did. I am satisfied,
I'm relatively satisfied with myself. I have accomplished my first feat of the year.
Yes, I have RAN 42 KM! Can you believe it? I can't myself. I really can't.
I admit, i wasn't really mentally and physically prepared. Like the night before was quite hectic.
It was a rush there, little warm up done.
But when it all boiled down and when i crossed the start line. Its make or break!
I would try to narrate the entire night of SUNDOWN MARATHON!
It started out as a relatively cool and quiet night.
My and my bro took a cab to the start point, changi village.
However, while reaching, we noticed something terrifying, we saw runners runninng back and the stretch of road leading up to the end seemed never ending. Then i knew, we were in for a night.
Thereafter, we met rhon and alvin, deposited out bags and began the short but vital warm up.
I wasn't exactly excited nor scared. I was more calm and thought it was another run at night.
However, i forgot that I have clocked only a max of 15km in one run before.
It was all energy when we walked to the start line. Then the countdown for the race started.
When we crossed the line, we started with a good pace. I was quite comfortable with it, alot slower than my usual pace.
We ran in a pack, me rhon alvin and my bro. Towards the 7 km mark, wee started to lose sight of rhon, then we realised, it was inevitable.
The run continued and then i went ahead of my bro and alvin.
I took constant blind spot turn to make sure they were in sight. When i realised they were too far behind, i slowed down. To my surprise, Alvin was left behind. SO it was just me and my bro.
It was a good pace all the way till 12 km! I was quite impressed actually.
However, this was when the pain hit. My bro first in his knee.
Then we had intervals or running and walking all the way till 16 km.
Then my cramp came. Was quite thankful i spotted it early and stretched up.
Though it was alot slower, it was still a relatively good pace all the way till 22 km. Then both our legs were screaming out in pain. WHY WHY WHY??
So we took a 3 km walk. WHICH WAS REALLY SLOW!
Then we kicked off again at the 25km mark. However, my bro really didn't want to start.
Thus, I went ahead.
However, it was pure struggle. Ok, if you don't get what i mean. IT WAS PURE STRUGGLE!
My legs were really cramping up coupled with stitches.
It was really really painful and tiring to push on. I myself had to alternate between slow walks and slow jogs all the way till 27 km.
Then came the banana. I BEGGED for it. I took 2 bites and threw it aside.
I then started to be in a small state of shock.
I sat down for a while trying to recover my legs.
The worst thing was, i started to fall asleep! I hate night runs....
After that junction, I pushed on, the next 3 km went relatively well. I had in mind to push all the way to 32 km. However, my body wouldn't allow.
I had to stop once in a while to let my legs rest. Passing the 30 km, the biggest pain hit.
My sole of my foot started to really really really ache up.
I didn't know why myself, it was really bad! It must've been the constant pressure on it.
The next 2 km was then the worst passing Bedok.
Yes, I clearly remember, THIS WAS THE WORST PART! I really couldn't take it. I didn't know how i'll survive the rest of the run.
After hitting 32km. I attempted to try more all the way till 34 km.
Then we reached a car park. This was then the culmination of pain.
My heart, stitches, sole, legs were all in pain. I really needed some sort of help badly.
This was when the magic cream came. DEEP HEAT!
After applying it, it felt like it numbed my leg. So i pushed on.
It went on well passing 35 km with another deep heat station. Then when it was 37 km.
At this point. I had no more fuel in myself. I squeezed a bit of gel and hoped it'll help.
It did for a while but I realised it because I had no more strength or energy.
i was starting to fail mentally. Though it was only 5 km left. I just couldn't move.
it was the WALL! So yes, I just started to walk.
It was then the song "7 things" played.
Somehow, I remembered my supergirl.
I thought of how it was when at the finish line she'll be there waiting for my back in the JC days.
I somehow carried that hope that she'll be there at the end.
Some adrenaline rush hit some time after. I just ran all the way till 4 km.
I could see the end.
Here was when the long stretch into changi village started.
In the cab on the way to the start point, i saw many people walking.
Now I'm one of them. So I struggled and pushed on waling and running all the way till 2 km!
Though it was really the end, I had NO MORE ENERGY left.
I couldn't take it anymore. Though i wanted to give it some push.
I realised then, how much effort I have given the past 40KM!
I decided, Its now or never. I thought of shiming and how its an achievement to myself and her.
I gave it all. However, all that I had somehow seemed really slow.
It was 500m left i think, then i saw a bridge. I GOT CHEATED! They sealed the bridge and the end point was somewhere else. i almost fainted.
I did that detour and even till the last 200m. I was struggling to walk properly.
However, when i saw the end, i Just gave it all.
The whole run flashed back, from the beginning pace, till the mid point walk, to the struggle at the end, till the finale when my supergirl gave my my strength.
I dashed ahead, opened my strides, gave a smile as cameras flashed when i crossed the finish line.
The strange thing then happend. I was really in shock then.
Bodily shock at least. I couldn't believe what had happened. I had to be directed by marshallers.
I entered some athletes welfar area and was greeted by annabelle to my surprise. She of all people. Well, it was better than nothing.
I grabbed the stuff, walked out and finally.
I sat down, took out my shoes and massaged my foot.
Oh the pleasure......
At the end, it wasn't about how long i took,
it was my first. I think my last. However, it was a real achievement.
It was about finishing strong. I did. I am satisfied,
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Saving grace
Listening to : My Hero - Foo Fighters
Why didn't i blog the past few days / weeks?
I just didn't have much to blog about. Well, up to know at least.
The working hours have really been rather stretching. Like i've never felt this mentally tired in a while. Which is sometimes a little refreshing.
Well, I can't say my life is the most exciting at the moment.
However, what I am looking forward to is the camp!
LOUD CAMP!!
Haven't you heard?
It's going to be the most exciting and fun camp you'll ever go to!
8 - 10 June. Whats more, it'll really be the epitomy of much needed boost.
I know we always say that life can't be based on a one off event.
It should be more of a long lasting continous change.
However, sometimes you just need some milestones in your life to fall back to.
Some periods in your life when you can say I did my best and i'm proud of it.
When I look back, there're various forms of successes i can fall back to.
My A level results, the track team, Usher ministry. Just to name a few.
However, I figured that something we should always realise.
Our days are what we make it to be. So whether we make it a point for it to be a high point or not is really up to us. Like we can really choose to sit back relax and not do anything.
Or you can jump up and decide to make it significant in your measely 80 years of life.
Thats why if you realise I tend to fuss about how we shouldn't waste any moment and rushing for time all the time, please remember that i'm doing it for your own good.
Yes, rest is needed, however, even then should you make it significant.
I mean, how cool would it be if we could all go on a holiday all the time to unwind.
Therefore, to me, this camp is something i really am looking forward to cause i want it to be a milestone. I want it and need it badly so i can jump a new level. Out of a self - conscience mindset and move on the well, CHANGE THE WORLD!
As I said long before entering NS. One person at a time, you pay it forward and the world changes.
Its as simple as that, but many people fail to see the significance of it all.
Thats why if you're wondering why i'm so hard up for this camp, this is why.
However, i'm shocked to be leading a team this time round. It makes it even MORE memorable.
It feels alot more like a moment to remember.
In the past, I was once called a hero. SUPERMAN!
Hoho. Well, I'm not out to ensure that my team wins or saves the most face.
I really can't be bothered to be the best or to be the champion house.
However, I wanna have fun. I want the others to have fun.
Thats why my cheers ain't out to anger / stir / or fight others back.
Its going to be something enjoyable and funny so we can all laugh about.
THIS IS LOUD CAMP!!!
ain't u excited?
Why didn't i blog the past few days / weeks?
I just didn't have much to blog about. Well, up to know at least.
The working hours have really been rather stretching. Like i've never felt this mentally tired in a while. Which is sometimes a little refreshing.
Well, I can't say my life is the most exciting at the moment.
However, what I am looking forward to is the camp!
LOUD CAMP!!
Haven't you heard?
It's going to be the most exciting and fun camp you'll ever go to!
8 - 10 June. Whats more, it'll really be the epitomy of much needed boost.
I know we always say that life can't be based on a one off event.
It should be more of a long lasting continous change.
However, sometimes you just need some milestones in your life to fall back to.
Some periods in your life when you can say I did my best and i'm proud of it.
When I look back, there're various forms of successes i can fall back to.
My A level results, the track team, Usher ministry. Just to name a few.
However, I figured that something we should always realise.
Our days are what we make it to be. So whether we make it a point for it to be a high point or not is really up to us. Like we can really choose to sit back relax and not do anything.
Or you can jump up and decide to make it significant in your measely 80 years of life.
Thats why if you realise I tend to fuss about how we shouldn't waste any moment and rushing for time all the time, please remember that i'm doing it for your own good.
Yes, rest is needed, however, even then should you make it significant.
I mean, how cool would it be if we could all go on a holiday all the time to unwind.
Therefore, to me, this camp is something i really am looking forward to cause i want it to be a milestone. I want it and need it badly so i can jump a new level. Out of a self - conscience mindset and move on the well, CHANGE THE WORLD!
As I said long before entering NS. One person at a time, you pay it forward and the world changes.
Its as simple as that, but many people fail to see the significance of it all.
Thats why if you're wondering why i'm so hard up for this camp, this is why.
However, i'm shocked to be leading a team this time round. It makes it even MORE memorable.
It feels alot more like a moment to remember.
In the past, I was once called a hero. SUPERMAN!
Hoho. Well, I'm not out to ensure that my team wins or saves the most face.
I really can't be bothered to be the best or to be the champion house.
However, I wanna have fun. I want the others to have fun.
Thats why my cheers ain't out to anger / stir / or fight others back.
Its going to be something enjoyable and funny so we can all laugh about.
THIS IS LOUD CAMP!!!
ain't u excited?
Sunday, May 03, 2009
moments
Listening to : Stuck in a moment - U2
When you move with the ball in your hands after 2 hours.
Your heart beats heavier, vision blurred.
Every movement you make causes your cramping leg to hurt even more.
Your opponents try to read your eyes to predict your next move.
Beads of sweat flow down your face falling slowly to the floor.
You don't think straight cause of the heat and pressure.
You force yourself to do so but every movement of your team mates makes you think twice.
Your friends call for the ball, you dunno whether to drive, pull up, or give it away.
You start to hesitate, then your opponent goes for the kill.
The sudden motion causes your heart to quicken and an instinctive action to hustle for it springs out of you.
You feel challenged and fired up to show him whose boss.
You cross with the ball from the left to the right just like how allen iverson would do it.
Holding beyond the left ark, you try to break your opponents motion as he goes for the ball on the right. Your muscles become tightened up.
Heart races and mind blank. Only thought is to shake him off.
You signal to your team mates to pull the inside open to allow you to speed in.
Your library of tricks is being reviewed in your head with the speed of lightning.
All in that split second, yuou realise that his left foot is too far back.
You pull a quick one to the left and then swinging it back to your right.
He's caught of the motion.
You begin to go in for the kill.
However, others race to hinder your motions. It irritates you.
However, with the gained velocity, you change your pace and drive right.
Then braking almost instantaneously, your opponent can't catch you.
You give a slight tap on his waist and he trips just like how michael jordan would do it.
You pull up with all the spirit you have.
It feels as though you have not played a moment.
Time literally freezes and you get stuck in a moment.
You reach the zen of the jump shot. The shouts and cheers no longer matter.
Its all on you.
hesitation loses its control over you, no fear, no regrets.
You reach the highest point of your jump, then your retracted hands begins to extend.
The body is straight, form seems perfect.
Your master hand applies a little force, most of which is derived from the lower limbs.
your left hand follows the ball to guide it home.
The ball leaves your hands with traces of sweat flying off as well.
You hope for the best, it moves straight.
You know that the direction is good but pray the force applied is just right. A little bit off would have catastrophic results.
The ark is good. Before it even goes in, You know the outcome.
You turn around and ready for defence of the incoming attack cause it has went in.
Time resumes its normal pace and though it may seem normal, that was a moment to remember.
WELLL!!!!!! After all thats said and done...
THAT ISN'T NOW!!! That was maybe 4 years ago??
Oh the times.... HAHAHAHHA!
When you move with the ball in your hands after 2 hours.
Your heart beats heavier, vision blurred.
Every movement you make causes your cramping leg to hurt even more.
Your opponents try to read your eyes to predict your next move.
Beads of sweat flow down your face falling slowly to the floor.
You don't think straight cause of the heat and pressure.
You force yourself to do so but every movement of your team mates makes you think twice.
Your friends call for the ball, you dunno whether to drive, pull up, or give it away.
You start to hesitate, then your opponent goes for the kill.
The sudden motion causes your heart to quicken and an instinctive action to hustle for it springs out of you.
You feel challenged and fired up to show him whose boss.
You cross with the ball from the left to the right just like how allen iverson would do it.
Holding beyond the left ark, you try to break your opponents motion as he goes for the ball on the right. Your muscles become tightened up.
Heart races and mind blank. Only thought is to shake him off.
You signal to your team mates to pull the inside open to allow you to speed in.
Your library of tricks is being reviewed in your head with the speed of lightning.
All in that split second, yuou realise that his left foot is too far back.
You pull a quick one to the left and then swinging it back to your right.
He's caught of the motion.
You begin to go in for the kill.
However, others race to hinder your motions. It irritates you.
However, with the gained velocity, you change your pace and drive right.
Then braking almost instantaneously, your opponent can't catch you.
You give a slight tap on his waist and he trips just like how michael jordan would do it.
You pull up with all the spirit you have.
It feels as though you have not played a moment.
Time literally freezes and you get stuck in a moment.
You reach the zen of the jump shot. The shouts and cheers no longer matter.
Its all on you.
hesitation loses its control over you, no fear, no regrets.
You reach the highest point of your jump, then your retracted hands begins to extend.
The body is straight, form seems perfect.
Your master hand applies a little force, most of which is derived from the lower limbs.
your left hand follows the ball to guide it home.
The ball leaves your hands with traces of sweat flying off as well.
You hope for the best, it moves straight.
You know that the direction is good but pray the force applied is just right. A little bit off would have catastrophic results.
The ark is good. Before it even goes in, You know the outcome.
You turn around and ready for defence of the incoming attack cause it has went in.
Time resumes its normal pace and though it may seem normal, that was a moment to remember.
WELLL!!!!!! After all thats said and done...
THAT ISN'T NOW!!! That was maybe 4 years ago??
Oh the times.... HAHAHAHHA!
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Bloody Swine
Listening to : Because of you - Ne-yo
While munching down my chicken nuggets which was kindly bought by my mum.
I've come to read something quite pleasing.
Singapore assures us that NOBODY has contracted the swine flu.
It was a random thought which actually captured my attention while running.
How can a simple flu be THAT deadly....
Wow man. I mean, a flu developed by......PIGS.
Its rather amazing.
In case you never knew, here's a brief history lesson on one of the most common STDs around.
AIDS!
Well, AIDs was first started cause some soldier in a jungle was alone and felt bored.
Then he grabbed a monkey and well, RAPED it.
I'm trying not to let the thought cross my mind or picture it but....
It really is strange for a man to do it to a...MONKEY???
Wow man. I figured it must be American. Only they are this erm...Liberal.
So imagine.... If they actually did it to a monkey.
Maybe swine flu was contracted by.........
Ok i shan't say it but yeah, Let your imagination run wild.
Well, so this swiney swine flu has caused ALOT of distress in the World.
I mean, USA got it, Mexico started it. I'm amazed how Asia hasn't really been hit yet.
Means we're quite good. Good in dealing with dumb issues as such though.
It may just imply that we will eventually live longer cause we bother to learn from our mistakes.
Unlike the Europeans, I guess Asians are a LITTLE bit more humble.
Well, I'm guessing Swine flu is transmitted through, well the germs passed through the air and all. However, after playing L4D so much and watching so many zombie shows.
It actually gets you a little paranoid. You know, what may happen 4 weeks after infection...
Ok i'm exaggerating. It probably is just another common flu influenza.
Well!! As I was saying, if its transmitted through flu like symptoms (Sneezing) just like bird flu.
Why did we cull all the chickens around??
I understand why they kill the cows when there was mad cow...
but why kill the chickens?? Is it really passed through them??
Then maybe they'll start killing the pigs...
MEANS NO MORE PORK!!!
It makes you wonder. What happens if the Muslim countries contract the swine flu...
Well, now we know who's been playing 'Holy nation' all this while then. HOHOHO
While munching down my chicken nuggets which was kindly bought by my mum.
I've come to read something quite pleasing.
Singapore assures us that NOBODY has contracted the swine flu.
It was a random thought which actually captured my attention while running.
How can a simple flu be THAT deadly....
Wow man. I mean, a flu developed by......PIGS.
Its rather amazing.
In case you never knew, here's a brief history lesson on one of the most common STDs around.
AIDS!
Well, AIDs was first started cause some soldier in a jungle was alone and felt bored.
Then he grabbed a monkey and well, RAPED it.
I'm trying not to let the thought cross my mind or picture it but....
It really is strange for a man to do it to a...MONKEY???
Wow man. I figured it must be American. Only they are this erm...Liberal.
So imagine.... If they actually did it to a monkey.
Maybe swine flu was contracted by.........
Ok i shan't say it but yeah, Let your imagination run wild.
Well, so this swiney swine flu has caused ALOT of distress in the World.
I mean, USA got it, Mexico started it. I'm amazed how Asia hasn't really been hit yet.
Means we're quite good. Good in dealing with dumb issues as such though.
It may just imply that we will eventually live longer cause we bother to learn from our mistakes.
Unlike the Europeans, I guess Asians are a LITTLE bit more humble.
Well, I'm guessing Swine flu is transmitted through, well the germs passed through the air and all. However, after playing L4D so much and watching so many zombie shows.
It actually gets you a little paranoid. You know, what may happen 4 weeks after infection...
Ok i'm exaggerating. It probably is just another common flu influenza.
Well!! As I was saying, if its transmitted through flu like symptoms (Sneezing) just like bird flu.
Why did we cull all the chickens around??
I understand why they kill the cows when there was mad cow...
but why kill the chickens?? Is it really passed through them??
Then maybe they'll start killing the pigs...
MEANS NO MORE PORK!!!
It makes you wonder. What happens if the Muslim countries contract the swine flu...
Well, now we know who's been playing 'Holy nation' all this while then. HOHOHO
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
DUMDUMDEEEEDEEEDUM!
Listening to : Sugar - Flo Rider
Its a little bit more than a month to go before the 42km!!!
Honestly, i'm not too sure how i'm actually going to finish it.
Though i've been training hard, I've been on and off at times.
Thus results in inconsistent results all the time. So unlike my previous months,
My average dist per session is a mere 8 km??
I really have to push it up. Every 3 days to up by 2km.
I think i'll die really soon if i try to do that.
However! I'm really fired up for it. Its one of the highlights for my year actually.
Also in that same time period, is my DRIVING TEST!
Yes, 4th June to be exact.
The time to determine whether or not i'm allowed to be the king of the roads.
To roam the streets in my OWN car going where I want to go.
Controlling the speed, time. WOW!!!
I can't wait man. Well, sorry folks but the 1st person to get a ride will definitely be my dearest!
She's having her exams now so its relatively quieter nowadays.
Which i'm not used to and not liking. I would really love more noise.
I realyl would, random bites and strange exclamations.
AHHH!!! Time should really fly!!
Either way, I realised a trend in the past few months of my work in the air force.
My mood really determines how i perform for the day.
Not only that, my mood varies in a certain pattern.
In fact, my mood determines how i react to almost everything around me.
It goes through a 2 - 3 week cycle where I rotate from being happy to really sian.
Like now is my relatively happy period. In a few days i'm not surprised if i swing to be super sian. Not too sure why its like this but oh well.
Its not really the best thing to be proud of but at least i've realised it. Time to CHANGE!
Its a little bit more than a month to go before the 42km!!!
Honestly, i'm not too sure how i'm actually going to finish it.
Though i've been training hard, I've been on and off at times.
Thus results in inconsistent results all the time. So unlike my previous months,
My average dist per session is a mere 8 km??
I really have to push it up. Every 3 days to up by 2km.
I think i'll die really soon if i try to do that.
However! I'm really fired up for it. Its one of the highlights for my year actually.
Also in that same time period, is my DRIVING TEST!
Yes, 4th June to be exact.
The time to determine whether or not i'm allowed to be the king of the roads.
To roam the streets in my OWN car going where I want to go.
Controlling the speed, time. WOW!!!
I can't wait man. Well, sorry folks but the 1st person to get a ride will definitely be my dearest!
She's having her exams now so its relatively quieter nowadays.
Which i'm not used to and not liking. I would really love more noise.
I realyl would, random bites and strange exclamations.
AHHH!!! Time should really fly!!
Either way, I realised a trend in the past few months of my work in the air force.
My mood really determines how i perform for the day.
Not only that, my mood varies in a certain pattern.
In fact, my mood determines how i react to almost everything around me.
It goes through a 2 - 3 week cycle where I rotate from being happy to really sian.
Like now is my relatively happy period. In a few days i'm not surprised if i swing to be super sian. Not too sure why its like this but oh well.
Its not really the best thing to be proud of but at least i've realised it. Time to CHANGE!
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