2015 in review

Regardless of how unfaithful I am in updating this blog (Which I really am hopeless at)
I think the one tradition still remains, looking back at the awesome year of 2015.
I suppose to some, the year really flew by. Yeah, that sort of happened to me, it literaly flew by.
It went by so quickly that part of me can't exactly remember what went on during some phases.
I was just caught in the motion.
Perhaps it'll be a good time to stop, take stock of the awesome (Or not so awesomet) things that happened in the entire year. Well, this as much as possible is representative of me and well, not Innervate (Although some definitely overlap). I guess I'm not going to make this chronological at all. Some aren't really events but big milestone thoughts I had through the year.

1) Operation Broken Wing

Yeah, this came first cause I think this a huge highlight for me. #OBWFightsForHope was not easy at all. Honestly, it wasn't easy one bit. The preparation prior to the event was beyond anything that I have ever done before. I have sent countless emails, messages to so many people throughout the course of the year leading up to the event, I'm not surprised some people have labelled me as spam. However, at the end of the day, such an event and all the effort that is put in was all tremendously worth it.

Yes, we saw the entire CrossFit Community come together for an awesome cause and worked out for a great reason. We saw people making the effort to look for sponsors for every rep that they have accomplished. All in all, we raised $200,000! Something that was way way way beyond my wildest imagination. Honestly, I never thought that a bunch of small time folks could do that. However, I was constantly reminded, to be thankful, to be thankful to God, the people around me and to count my blessings. This is a huge blessing and that has led to more blessings.

"All the Fitness in the World amounts to nothing if we don't use it to help others in need"

2) Tattoo

I guess this signified something deep for me. Kelvin Yeo, aka "Tattoo" passed away in the middle of the year, it was a huge blow to me and the entire community. Very honestly, I have always been the person to take friendships lightly. Yes, I'm quite easily the one whom will take a step back and wait whilst the entire group goes ahead with life and I get busy with work and what I do.

I suppose it's moments like these that I realize, that people mean more than just "a person in my life". They're people whom have shaped my life and made me who I am today. Kelvin very often said, your heart must be big. Xin Yao Da. And I guess I have lived that for many years now.

Now that he's passed, I will always endeavour to live that out loud. With my friends around me, with what I do, with my training. I will try my best to live loud and proud and let my heart shine.

3) We decided

Not so much of a decision but I guess many who don't know about it might be in for a surprise. I suppose it wasn't a big deal to us but I guess after meeting with a couple of friends, it seems like it is. So yes, Ning and I have been together for quite a while now.

She's been the dearest to me. Treating me with much love and care. Tolerating my mood swings and fluctuating emotions which are easily swayed. She supported me in every way that I can think of this year, sacrificing much of herself for me. She inspires me by her deep love for God and everytime we're together in church, it's something very special.

So yeah, Ning and I applied for a BTO in bididari. Not to say we would get it for sure but we did nonetheless. :) Yes, I love this girl.

4) The burst of growth

I've got to admit, I started the year pretty optimistic with the growth of our CrossFit Kids and Teens program. It wasn't the most exponential but I was pretty excited by how it is growing. The big break was probably the article that sprung forth from the Straits Times. It started there with just one parent coming through our doors. Then suddenly, people were referring their friends and kids to us. It came as a genuine surprise. One boy loved it and started spreading it in school and before we knew it, 10 were added to the classes.

The 3 classes a week soon became 4 which soon became 5. We started with only 10 when the year started, all in all, including all those we count as once a week, we've got easily 60 kids and teens on and off now. That's quite a huge leap! it really got me super excited because it shows one thing. That God is faithful. I'm given this amazing chance to impact the many lives around us and I'm sure as hell not going to mess this up.

5) We stood together

Starting a business is never easy and honestly, very very scary. I guess I had moments of uncertainty and doubt. I questioned what I was doing and whether it would be sustainable, long haul. Often, the reassurance came from within the circle. From Mo and Lenny. Yes, we've had our ups and downs, we've had moments where we really needed one another (Or at least I did) and they came through.

However, there were moments when really, all hell broke loose. In those moments, I always look back and I see them both there watching my back. Regardless of what was said or done, we band together. Just because, we're always better, together.

6) All grown up

2015 also marked the start of the many weddings that will continue for many years to come. Yeap. This year, many friends got hitched and are all ready to spend their lives together. It does feel just a little surreal that it is happening but I'm pretty happy that it actually is :)

Many couples whom I've seen grow up, Sean and Amelia for one, finally tied the knot and I can't be more happy. It's been a long time coming for so many of them and I think that's something to be super happy about in 2015

7) God is good, all the time (Church)

2015 was the year the CHC trial also came to an end. It has been a very very long trial, a very tiring one indeed. I recall when it first started and many of us were confused, didn't know what to think. Right now, I'm firm in my beliefs and to see the many members band together, close ranks, it warms my heart. Regardless of circumstances, I still say, this Church, is my Home.

I've grown up here, i was raised here, I learnt almost everything here and I caught a vision here. Yes, I'm outrightly saying it. Without CHC and the crossover project, I would never have thought of doing what I'm doing now with Innervate CrossFit.

The verdict might not have been the most favourable and plain bad but hey, it's okay, we keep our chins high and we keep pushing and pushing and pushing. You don't leave your home when there are troubles, you stay and weather it out. This to me, is the most important aspect of the Church :)

8) CrossFit Kids and Teens

Now apart from the growth of the box and the CrossFit Kids and Teens. I'm always thankful for the chance to even teach them, mould them and hopefully change their lives. I've seen some of them grow up and honestly, it's pretty darn amazing. I see some of them becoming more mature, learning how to conduct themselves better and learning how to control their emotions.

Apart from all the teaching that I do to them. Well, they've taught me some pretty invaluable lessons. How to always look at things with wide eyed wonder. To be excited for the simplest of things. To always have fun no matter how hard, tough and downright boring it might be.

9) The Vision coming to pass

The outcome of OBW was beyond expectation. Last year, we had hopes to bring CrossFit to a handful of teens who needed it. Unfortunately, things didn't go through. However, the success of OBW this year spurred REACH Community Services Society to take a different approach to this. This year, we had the privilledge of finally teaching the youths from the Singapore Boys Hostel.

Now to many, this truly isn't much. I mean, to the business eye, it might just be another program or gig. However, to me, it represents the fruition of a vision. I started Innervate a year plus ago with the simple desire to bring CrossFit to those who truly need it. One of the groups which has always been in my heart since I started CrossFit and back in SOT was the youth at risk. I had a dream, a vision, that one day, I would be given an opportunity to teach these youths from the Hostel, CrossFit. I never imagined that in a short span of time, this has actually come to pass. The vision was so accurately fulfilled that it was even from the correct place.

Now, once a week (hopefully twice soon), I am given the greatest honour to impart to these youths CrossFit and hopefully get them to turn their lives around. Now I'm thinking of the most effective ways in doing so and I truly hope that they will be blessed by it. Recently, I shared this in Cell Group and surprisingly, Jean, a friend from long ago said that it is true, I've been speaking of this dream for the longest time, since I was in university. To see it finally come to pass amazes me beyond measure.

10) SG50

To many, this might be something which isn't a very big deal but just cause my birthday fell right smack on the SG50 period, I was pretty stoked about it :). It was a great time of celebration and activities. But most importantly, it was a time where I just went out of my way to meet the important people around me. They are close to me, they are important to me.

11) The Family, together

To be very honest, 2014 wasn't the best year for my family. There was a departure of someone and because of that, I was pretty devastated by it. Gina left the family to go back home. It's been a struggle, it's been a fight every single time to hold on to her. However, things were hard and because of that it took a toll on the family. 2014 really was a fight.

2015 we took the time to heal, to regroup and to come back together as a Choong Family. It wasn't easy at all simply because there were moments I still wasn't ready to open up yet. Things took a turn eventually when I saw how the entire family came together many times, during CrossFit, during the trials and many more moments. 2015, the Choong family came together and that meant the World to me.

16) The decision to keep fighting

2015 was the year i decided that perhaps this old body of mine can still achieve some pretty nifty tricks and PRs. So in 2015, I decided to put my foot down and told myself, I'm gonna give it a go. Enough procrastinating, enough excuses, it's time to get down to business. No fear, just Faith.

So here I am, gearing up and training harder than ever before for Battle Royale 2016! Were there moments I thought that it was just impossible? For sure. But there were more moments of sheer courage that I managed to do the impossible again. Just 5 seconds of ridiculous courage

17) Sun is Shining and so are you

Last but not least, I know that God is good, and God is good every single time. Really. I mean, the year presented its fair share of challenges. There were many moments I genuinely struggled and many moments I felt victorious. Could I have grown more? Definitely. But looking back at 2015, yeah it's been a pretty awesome year. I didn't see many sun sets as compared to 2014 but hey, that's okay. It's definitely been worth it.

2016 is going to be a whole different ball game. The future is uncertain and even thinking about it scares me a little but one thing I do know, is that in the words of Axwell ^ Ingrosso, the Sun is shining and So are you. So yes, I've just got to be that beacon of light for those around me. As much as I try to be the best that I can be, I want to make people the best that they can be. Perhaps not just the beacon of light but a beacon of Faith, Hope and Love.

Thanks for making 2015. I'm excited for 2016. Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all.

#OBWFightsForHope

I guess as the dust truly starts to settle. I now have some time (Though I should be sleeping) to think about the adventure that is Operation Broken Wing. Seemingly like the simplest of CrossFit events in Singapore truly made headlines over the past few weeks.

For one, I dare say it's the biggest congregation of CrossFit athletes over an event in Singapore (190 athletes, no I do no exaggerate). The CrossFit Community came together to do good, to raise funds for youth at risk and to spend 17 minutes of their Saturday afternoon performing a workout for them. The cool thing is that money is raised by the athletes, I mean, how kickass is that? The athletes, no matter how new or senior, become a super hero in their own right. They have their sponsors rooting for them, cheering for them, asking them to go all out because it's a completely different race altogether.

Next staggering fact which completely blew me away, was that with the help of the government, we've managed to have a pledged amount of close to $200,000! I mean, stop and let me think about this figure. THATS A HUGE SUM! Coming from a mere 190 athletes? Okay, if I stop and really think about it.... Every athlete raised close to $1000! That's no simple effort guys, it's a whole lot of push and heart from the entire community. Were there people who didn't find their sponsors for their reps? Yeah for sure. Were the complains about convenience of donation etc etc? Definitely. But sorry, you can't take that pledged amount away from the community. They single handedly raised that amount and would be making a great difference in the lives of many youths!

Okay, now that the awe and amazement is all said and done....

I guess here comes the slightly more sentimental part. Which is why? Why Operation Broken Wing in the first place? I mean, I could do so many many things, I could've spent much time growing  CrossFit Kids and Teens, reaching out for the Silvers or Self Defence or cold calling for CrossFit but why OBW? This year, and hopefully every year from now on, I championed this cause and helmed the push for OBW. I had the biggest of help from so many people, I mean, I was really grateful to all who chipped in, in a big or small way. But I guess alot of the event, the pre planning etc rested on me and I took the burden to carry it out. It wasn't easy at all, there were moments I had the real thought of throwing in the towel and calling it, "I don't care what happens who shows up or what sponsors come, I'm just gonna sit and see what happens". Thankfully I didn't do that. But it took a big drive on my part to keep that from happening. A big part of that drive... was the reason for this all. And that reason was simple.

A Heart for the Youth.

I'm not gonna kid anyone. I'm pretty much one of the most privileged guys out there. I grew up on a great home, had my needs taken care of. I didn't need to worry about my next meal or where i was going to sleep at night. I had an awesome childhood and was brought up in a great family with caring and genuine friends all around. And so this heart didn't come from a typical story.

Instead, this passion or heart for the youth came about one day, way way back in 2005 (I THINK!), it was none other than Emerge. I will always remember Pst Kong preaching a simple message about the fervency, passion and impact of the youth. That you might be young but so long as your heart burns strongly, the presence and power is carried by you. That the youth changed the World in so many ways! That the trumpets of salvation are sounded at every turn of the tide and now that trumpet is in our hands. That youths are perhaps the most impressionable group of people in the World today. That revival happens through these youths. Knelt on the ground, I realised that yes, it is my call, to make sure that youths deserve a better tomorrow.

Fast forward to 2010. The other game changer was a combination of 2 events. First, I was enrolled in the School of Theology. and it was some time in mid July. We went for our mission trip to Kuching and there, our team cranked up a storm! Praying for people, seeing people get saved and encouraging the church. But one thing struck me and stayed with me. There was one occasion, we went visiting the households of the youths that they were trying to reach out to. Many of them lived in houses which were almost impossible to live in, many had broken families or were having an extremely hard life. There, my heart broke. I was rudely reminded that I was to use these hands, to make these lives better, to give them a future and a hope. To give them a better tomorrow. There were no signs and miracles, though we prayed but I knew deep down inside I was armed with a passion, that if we helped these youths now, at this extremely vulnerable age where they are so moulded, then yes, their trajectory in life will be changed so much. During this time in SOT, it was also the Cultural Mandate that was being taught and I fondly remember feeling very uneasy about something, that there was a big nudge to do something totally radical for God. Note that at that time, I was going to enter University and had planned to enter the engineering sector with no second thoughts.

The next moment occurred immediately after that mission trip. We landed early at the budget terminal of Changi Airport, the entire team decided to go our separate ways and get some rest. This was at 5pm. Back then, I had just started CrossFit, in my 2nd year or so. So I was hooked, gosh those were the days. I wanted to get my workout in and so without thinking twice, in my mission trip outfit, I grabbed a cab and went straight to the box. Back then, CrossFit Singapore was a singular unit, pretty small and very "underground" still. Rocked up to the box and got changed for the 7pm class. Deep down inside I recall telling myself, "I'm quite a badass and hardcore to be doing this straight away." Naturally, the folks around me didn't want me to implode or anything so Coach told me to take it easy.

The 7pm class was done and dusted. I was somehow the last to leave cause I wanted to shower, my stuff was everywhere from the mission trip and thus needed to pack a little. After such a long few days, or revival, praying and now a workout, I was pretty exhausted and ready to sleep. Then I caught wind of this thing... This event called "Operation Broken Wing". Coach was talking to someone about it and being the busybody I was, I asked about it. Then came the flood / God Moment. He told me about the true plan for CrossFit, how it was meant to help the youths. That CrossFit wasn't just for us but to help the many people around us. How OBW was a platform to help these youths and change their lives. That this was truly just scrapping the tip of the iceberg. That CrossFit was truly God's blessing to him and to the community around.

It was probably a very simple conversation we had which is unlikely to be remembered but I recall it very fondly and somehow, everything was aligned. That truly, this is what I'm meant to do. To use CrossFit, to help improve the lives of others, yes. But more specifically, to help make a difference, to use Constantly Varied, Functional Movement executed at High Intensity to be a blessing to others around me via the Cultural Mandate. That was how the purpose was found. That is why OBW and in fact, Innervate CrossFit has been such a dear to me. There was no clear audible voice from Heaven shouting towards me, no dream or so. But I guess, I saw the need, a real need. And as they say, the need is the call. I felt that need so strongly that I followed the call.

It's more than just a business or an event. It's more than just raising money. It's to give others a future and a hope.

Was the whole OBW period tough? Yeah, for sure. Would I do it again? Without a doubt yes.

Finally, I want to encourage everyone reading this (Pardon the sloppy language etc), to always heed the call. That no matter how rational certain things might seem, always always follow the call. NOT YOUR HEART, follow the word, follow the call, follow Jesus. Lastly, Thank You Jesus for this opportunity, it is truly your grace that has carried me. I am extremely extremely blessed.

We make

People feel so many emotions all so differently

Perhaps not so much of feeling emotions differently.

But experience different emotions at different stages or circumstances in their life.

After each passing hurdle, triumph or disappointment that well, there's a routine.

A habit of sorts.

Just like muscle memory.

Your mind and emotions work just like that.

Your brain experiences a similar sensation when posed with a similar situation.

It might not be exactly the same.

It probably won't be at all.

However, due to it being just a bit similar, you react the same way.

In anger, happiness or sadness.

Then there're moments where in one particular occassion.

You experience something completely completely new.

Your brain can't seem to know what and how it's supposed to react or feel.

Emotions get jumbled up.

Sadness, disappointment, relief, anger, happiness, joy, gratefulness all get thrown it at the same time.

That's when perhaps....

You can change your life.

Create a new habit

Create a new memory, a new pattern for your life to follow after.

One new habit, be it positive or negative, naturally influences the others around it.

Only if you let it, of course.

Then that's where suddenly your life starts to change.

One thought, one mental routine, one habit, one hurdle at a time.

The past 2 weeks. I've been faced with an incident that perhaps, I had never expected.

Was it hard?

Yeah, definitely.

Am I angry at myself? Yeah, very much.

Disappointed? For sure.

Grateful? Most definitely.

Sad? On the brink of closing my eyes and trying to forget it all.

Happy? Surprisingly, yes. That it's a new stage of life and a new me.

Life goes on.

It really does. 

One thing does remain though, one thing I can never deny.

That God, regardless of circumstance and decisions, has and always will be there.

To remind me how to frame those thoughts.

To nudge me to the better side when I so choose the other.

To keep me smiling and saying those so familiar words, "Hello Hello."

Thank you God for keeping me.

Cross-FIT #156 Slow Down to Speed Up

We like to rush things.
CrossFitters have that tendency to do just that.
On the sound of the buzzer, we go all cray cray.
We put intensity into our movements and step on the pedal big time.
Often, we focus so much on the efficiency of things, because of that, we don't really look at the beauty of things.
This might be a bit contrary to what many perceive but truly, at times, we need to Slow Down to Speed Up.

And when I say slow down, I don't mean slowing down in the workout.
There is a time and place for the workout and it should rightly be often and common.
However, don't forget the small fine details of things.
Don't forget the movements which seem beautiful.
Don't neglect the things which might not necessarily help improve efficiency but will build overall strength.
Often, these movements don't come with intensity.
They come with staying put.
They come with holding in a static position that may be seemingly uncomfortable.

And that's how we are at times, we want to rush through and do things which will feel good and make us more efficient.
Instead, perhaps we need to focus more on staying at the places which might not be as comfortable but will build strength within us.
To stay in moments of discomfort to build resilience.
We might just need to "Tarry" in presence of God to get that breakthrough.
Not to say that it's a place of discomfort but we rush it at times and yeah, that just isn't the way, is it?

So be still.
Be still.
Get into that happy place and be prepared for a ride.

Cross-Fit #155 The fighter within

There will be moments whereby you body and soul has had enough.
Enough is enough.
We spend time and effort perfecting our movements and perfecting our craft again and again.
Only to realize that this is really tiring.
They say that in any High Intensity workout, the outcome is truly, results.
A ton of results, a change in body composition, a better engine, energy levels, just to name a few of the benefits.
However, why don't people do it?
It's really cause high intensity workouts bring you to a really dark place.
It's not easy, it sucks and it is downright painful.

It takes a special kind of someone to face this day in day out with the mental strength to keep pushing their limits.
We see this in not just CrossFit athletes but in Track athletes and in many sportsman and woman who devote hours upon hours to work on their technique relentlessly.
However, I have to admit, that drive, can be easily lost if you don't take care of it.
It becomes a chore more than an enjoyment.
Look at people who started out having SO much fun doing it and suddenly, 4-5 years down the road and gosh, this is going nowhere.
Yes, the numbers are getting better, no doubt about that.
But at the heart of things, it just isn't sustainable.

I have felt that way the past few months.
It just isn't worth it putting myself through the torture and pain.
I mean, those are fitness goals but really, what's the point?

But you have to find the fighter within.
Not the fighter who is known to be the strongest. No no.
The fighter who has the most grit.
Who can bite their teeth and restart their engine again.
You need to find that special someone inside of yourself to restart and accelerate again.
In any situation in your life, be it in CrossFit or every other aspect.

Find a reason for what you're doing to reignite that engine.
Find that reason to revive that fighter inside.
It could be going back to where you first began and to laugh again.
Back to where you would do something stupid like conjure up a workout which is impossible to complete. Or learning new things.
It could simply be coming back to your roots.
Your passion and your drive will then find meaning.

Fight.
This one.
This one's a Fighter.

Cross-Fit #154 We may not have everything

The past week has been a dark one for many of us.

It has been a time of mourning and remembering our founding father Mr Lee Kuan Yew.

I guess it was a surreal moment for me when the news broke out on Monday.

Like many, we were probably just waking up or on the way to work when we heard the news.

It took me a while to really come to terms with it.

Initially, it was, right, yeah he passed away.

Then it sort of hit me.

Gosh, the one whom founded the country has passed away.

We owe way too much to this one person.

I have never really met him before, I didn't know so much about him there and then.
In fact, I hardly knew much about his life or his accomplishments.
I knew about what he did from the textbooks but since I was a kid I never really understood the real relevance of things.
Boys being boys, always fixated and glued to my playstation, I really couldn't care less
But why, why was I somehow affected?

Honestly, without his doing, we won't be where we are today.

I won't be sitting comfortably and typing this post out.

I won't be living in a nice home driving my car to the box every other day.

Honestly, I probably won't even have started Innervate to begin with.

Not just that, but well, City Harvest Church probably won't be around too.

We really do owe alot to him.
I've come to feel a sense of gratitude and appreciation towards him and all that he has done.

As thoughts, memoirs, blog posts, messages and news reports pour out online.

I guess this one is coming a little late after the entire funeral.

I suppose I wanted to take some time to really think about it and let the entire week run its course.

I read about how LKY was a leader that did the right thing, might not have been the nicest but had to be done at that time.

I hear of how he is a loving husband and a caring father who, regardless of how busy he is, comes to his family when there is a need to.

Watching videos of lessons that can be learnt from him and brought into our lives make me think of my own too.

I read quotes upon quotes about how he governed the country, how he thinks of politics and how he lived his life.

Perhaps the most impactful moment was during the funeral. Hearing the last eulogy of Lee Hsien Yang and having him share stories about his Papa showed one thing.
That above all
Mr Lee Kuan Yew loved and loved bravely.
Not just the country but also his family.
Never once did Lee Hsien Yang call him Mr Lee Kuan Yew but always papa and how his grandchildren would always always call him "yeye"
When the last horn was sounded and we placed our fist on our chests reciting the pledge and sing the national anthem, it was a moment of reflection.
That he fought for us.
He spent his entire life, fighting for us.

So what can I say?

I guess these inadequate words won't be enough.

But Thank You Mr Lee Kuan Yew for everything.

From being our PM to SM to MM.

For being someone who is the pillar of the country and our guiding light.

I will wake up tomorrow having what I have because of you.
Waking up a proud Singaporean means a whole lot more now.

As one of spokesperson for the funeral said, "I might not have everything in the World but I have more than most, because of your life long labour."
That is something to be thankful for.

We always say in CrossFit, to keep track of your PRs, to keep track of your progress.

But beyond that, take some time to look back and be happy with where you are, right now.

Because that is sometimes gonna be the drive that makes you thankful, grateful for what you have.

Mr Lee Kuan Yew may have passed on but his legacy will continue.

His life will not be forgotten, he will live as Singapore continues to prosper.

It is up to us to live a life worthy now.

He has fought for Singapore. he has lived his life for Singapore. He lived his life for others.

It is up to us to continue the legacy.

CrossFit #153 Fight For Hope

Fight For Hope was the name of the CrossFit Workout we did for #OBW2014.
It was a workout I thoroughly enjoyed and saw many people work hard for.
But I suppose if I can sum up a little of how this year feels like, well, it's a Fight For Hope
This year has been a particularly hard one. Not a bad one at any level at all.
But it's been pretty rough and hard. It required quite a bit of me at almost every stage of the game.
I was stretched, pulled, trampled, washed up, woken up, smacked out and revived.
However, it was a real Fight For Hope simply cause "Hope" isn't exactly the easiest thing to come by.

Real genuine hope is probably hard to come by.
Hope is different from worry, so very different.
Worry gets you know where, Hope propels you forward, to the next step.
So why Hope?

I guess a big part of the year, I have been in a worrying rut.
Setting up Innervate and making the effort to make opportunities come to pass.
It's a totally not easy job AT ALL.
You do what we can, we really do, but at the end of the day.
We can only Hope.
And that, very honestly, has been a struggle for me.
Now yes, Hope is important and many back their hope up on all the effort that they have put in.
Students hope for the best results but a big part of their confidence in that hope resides in the amount of effort that have put in to study.
It somewhat overlaps with Faith even.
However, for me, I guess I've been doing that.
I've been putting my faith, and been backing my hope up based on the effort that I've put in,
Be it in design work, working on my craft as a coach and athlete, marketing efforts, business development.
I've come to realize, that all of that, is for nothing.

I guess as a believer and a Christian.
Hope is something close to me.
But not because of my efforts.
I can hope simply because I have Jesus.
This Christmas, I was gently reminded of that fact.
I can be happy, I can walk out head held high, I can be confident about myself, I can have the hope that I am going to succeed and be the head and not the tail.
Not because of my efforts, not because of who I am even.
But simply because I have Jesus.

I guess when we start seeing Jesus in everything that we do, that is when things become better.
It's true when Jesus says, "my yoke is light." It makes it easier to live as a believer.
Because when we start having hope, we don't rely on our Strength but on His.
We start seeing things differently.
That no matter how good or bad the day, week, month or even year has been.
We can have hope that God is in control and that we, have Jesus with us.
 Then it becomes something different.
It now implies that our "bad" days, aren't really BAD.
We need to simply have a change in perspective and a change in where and how we place our hope.

Begin Hoping in Jesus.

Heroes

"You're not just anyone. One day you're doing to have to make a choice. You have to decide what kind of man you want to (grow up to) be. Whoever that man is, he's going to change the World."

Something that we all have.

Every single one of us have.

Even God didn't touch this.

We have the power of free will.

Yes, there's the whole debate on whether we really do have a free will or is everything pre-destined or fated for us all.

Ultimately, I believe we do have a free will and to a certain extent can control our future and our paths.

With that free will, comes the next big thing.

A choice

We can choose to stand and say yes.

Or crumble and say no.

We can choose to be shaped by the standards and words of another.

Or you can choose to say that I am a Child of God

We can choose to let our successes be defined by the amount of money we make

Or you can choose to have your success determined by the number of lives you change.

We can choose death.

Or we can choose life.

At the end of the day, the ball really, is in your court.

How you feel when you wake up tomorrow, is your choice.

Choose to feel awesome.

"The happiest people don't have the best of everything, they just make the best of everything."

Gina Pt 1

**Disclaimer, this blog post is a mess, writing it isn't easy at all. I'm sure there's gonna be a better version as time goes by but oh well, if I get lazy, then so be it eh? (PS. it isn't coherent and English is all over the place, so if you can't stand it, well, don't read it k?:) )

There's got to be a thousand possible ways to deal with this.
I'm not good really.
I'm quite terrible at dealing with goodbyes.
Coming back home and realizing that this is going to be happening regardless of what I do.
Clueless is really the word to describe how I should be feeling right about now.
I could be hiding in the corner, sobbing weeks before it actually happens.
Alternatively, I could be whining on the phone for hours over.
Not saying they won't happen, there's a good chance it'll happen eventually.
However, right now.
I guess I find some solace in confiding in these few words.
It probably won't be the only post about this, but hey, we'll see.

Gina is going home in a couple of weeks.
I mean, she is GINA.
She is part of my Family. She is part of the household, She is part of me.
She's been taking care of me for the past 25 years.
Yes, she has made her fair share of mistakes.
But who hasn't? I mean, I know I have.
I have messed up so so so so many times and to see me come back, given multiple chances and yet Gina not being given that unreserved grace, somehow aches me.
Apart from all of that, she's done so so many things for my family.
Of which, a few things like holding the entire family together when it was about to crumble etc.
I mean, that's just naming a few things.
But really, she's done so much more for me.
She literally, brought me up. She has seen me grow up and seen me through so many things.

Some may really be thinking.
Well, she's just a helper, she's just a maid.
No.
No she isn't.
She's more than that.
She has transcended even the term "Family".
I think back and perhaps, I find her being the closest to me in this house hold.
I find her understanding me the most amongst all my relatives.
I see her keeping my secrets, even sharing some with me and I with her.
I remember how she has consoled me when I am down with the worst of heart breaks.
I recall how she pushes me to be better when she knows I can be better.
I fondly think back of the many times she has held my hands and felt my forehead, making sure that my fever has gone down.
For 25 years, she has become someone who can never be replaced.

I can't care less about how awesome the food is when she's around.
I really can't be bothered about how clean the house is as well.
What I do care about.
Is every time I walk through my doors.
Will I see her?
No matter how good or bad the day is, getting 6 A's for A levels, coming back from a long week in the Air Base, coming back with a dislocated shoulder from KL, returning home after a rough day at the box, returning home after the opening of the box for the very first time, coming home after countless exams in NUS, coming home after a very tiring long night out at zouk, coming home after studying 18 hours straight, coming back home when sometimes, I just don't feel like coming back home.
For the past 25 years, I've been greeted by the same person.
Every single time, the questions vary but the look of concern is always, always present.
That look, sometimes I take for granted, very honestly. That look, however, keeps me sane for just one more day.
It lets me know that perhaps, I can fight yet another day because someone else is willing to fight this battle with me.

You know how they always say, that friends can come and go, even relationships can change in a snap of a finger.
But I guess, this is something very very different.
I've been alive for 25 years, and she has cared for me for all 25 years.
So yes, I am getting a little emotional and incoherent in this blog post. It's not for readers, really, it's just sorta a coping mechanism for me...
So back at it.
Things can change in life, really.
And Gina leaving, will be a huge dramatic change to this entire equation.
I'm going to be blunt. She has seen me in the happiest of my days and comforted me when I have been the worse at my breakups, failures, sicknesses, disappointments and utter drunkenness.
Now who is gonna be doing that? I have no idea at all.
Perhaps it's time for me to really man up, for me to really really grow up.
Well, she's gonna be leaving yes, but that doesn't mean she's going to be totally cut off
Thank God for FaceTime yeah.

I do feel sad that she is leaving and I mean, this is honestly worst than any possible break up or heart break that I have experienced.
I recall once, when I was on exchange in the States.
I missed home. I really did. But hey, I was having fun and a ball of a time. I didn't really care much.
However, one day, I heard from someone, that Gina, sometimes still wakes up, walks up to my room at 8am in the morning, keen on waking me up and realizes I'm not home. She missed me.
I know my family and loved ones missed me, I really did but it really broke my heart to hear that Gina missed me.
Now that really made me miss home.
Wherever she is, that to me, is definitely going to be home.

I'm not very good with expressing myself in person or doing this at all. I'm quite a mess right now but oh well, it's my blog, whatever. I just hope that Gina, you can somehow read this one day.

I'm going to miss you Gina.
I'm going to miss you so so so much.
I haven't had the chance to say this before.
But thank you for keeping me alive when life was pretty shit when I was a kid.
Thank you for loving me in this family that is so hard to love.
Thank you for bringing me up.
Thank you for being who you are.
Thank you for loving me with your food, your smiles, your joy, your words, your hugs and your kisses.
Thank you for holding my hand while I walk to school when I was 9 and thank you for hugging me when I opened Innervate CrossFit.
Thank you for loving me.
I will see you again very soon, I'm sure, be it in Singapore, Ilo Ilo, online or anywhere else in the World.
I love you, Gina.

Cross-Fit #151 The Perspective

Sometimes, perspective is all you need.

You don't need more time, more money, more strength, more fitness.
Sometimes all you need is perspective.

When you start seeing the situation around you differently, your reality changes.

No matter what people say.

No matter how the facts are laid out in front of you

Reality is shaped based on your perspective.

A friend once said, that you gravitate towards the news that suits your character.

You simply reject those which aren't aligned with yours.

And how true is that.

I can tell you that a beef is good for you.

But if deep down inside, you know with all your heart, that rice is best.

Sorry, I can't do much for you.

It's a matter of perspective.

Not to say we don't try to steer those off tangent back in line.

But we need to respect free will.

Either way, this isn't about others.

It's about us. It's about YOU.

If you start thinking every other day, that your circumstances just suck.

Then perhaps, they will.

If you wake up, thinking to yourself, UNFAIR, LIFE IS UNFAIR.

Then perhaps, life will be unfair.

If you wake up, thinking to yourself. Troubles may come but, I'm a fighter.

Then maybe, just maybe, life will be better.

OR if you wake up being CONVINCED that God is Good all the time.

Then maybe, life will be really awesome.

Because no matter your situation, no matter what you're going through, life is going to be awesome because God is a good plan for you. That if he cares more for the sparrows, won't he do the same or more for your lives?

It's about perspective. 

See through a different lens.

CROSS-FIT #150 And a new phase begins

Finally, after so many years of education, it has finally come to an end

My days of mugging endlessly in a bid to climb and run the rat race has finally come to an end.

It's really funny, how my perspective of life has changed all these years.

I mean, I take a good step back and look back at my younger years (Not to say I'm really old)

But wow, it's really been quite an awesome ride, it really has.

And honestly, I thank God for that.

I mean, take a look at the blog archives on the right, this blog has existed for quite some time.

Because of that, I guess it somehow chronicles my entire life.

From the things I value, to thoughts that dominate my mind

Yes, it's fun. However, right now, it's time to move on to the next phase of life.

The graduation hat has been thrown, the words have been said and I've been cast into the deep.

One thing I do remember and has lasted through all my days.

Is passion for people.

From my younger years, I've always had this inclination to work with people.

To work to benefit others and make their lives better.

Thus I initially wanted to become a teacher, helping others grow!

However, after some time, I guess I got pushed to think of the corporate sector instead.

I guess after all this time, I've come one full circle.

Because when the call really comes, you can't run from it.

I've always wanted to make people better and this is what I'm going to do.

Innervate CrossFit was birthed because of that.

Because me, Moses and Lenny want to make a difference in the lives of others.

We want to Forge Elite Lives and Make People Better.

To make this a "Box without walls" and to find a need and meet it, a weakness and strengthen it.

As I step into this next phase of life, there will be MANY obstacles and MANY sleepless nights.

There's no doubt that if the ride is a smooth one, then something is wrong.

It's definitely gonna be a rocky one.

But I'm ready for it and I'm excited for it.

Mid Year Gratitude

This platform has been largely neglected.

All the busyness, hasn't been very helpful in creating time to update my blog.

It's not that I don't think that I have nothing good or no new revelations about CrossFit and Life.

I just didn't have the time to come out of my hiding hole to get it all typed out.

Well it's a Sunday and I guess its about time I did something about that.

Right now, after such a long hiatus, I don't really know where to start anymore or where to begin.

I suppose it's only right if I take some time to take a step back and be thankful.

Might sound like I'm being all sentimental and nostalgic by taking time to reminisce about everything that has happened in my life, especially this year.

But it's half way through the year, think it might be a good time to just recap a couple of things that has happened.

1) Innervate CrossFit

2) BootCamp Kick Start

3) Finishing FYP and SDP 

4) Finishing University Education

5) CrossFit Singapore Progress / 5th Year

6) Emerge

7) CrossFit Kids Course

8) Commitment to Serving and Humility

9) Many Many Cell Groups and Services which have been profoundly impactful

10) Ning's Birthday!

11) Second Attempted Tech Start-Up

12) First Tech Start-Up not being realized

13) CrossFit Games Open
14) Coursera Courses!

Well, some things might seem trivial to some. However, these are just a few things which are etched in my mind in the first half of the year. It has been quite a ride, really. Thank God for the amazing things that has happened thus far. Things will only get better (and busier) 

Why do this? Why count your blessings so early on? Or as what others would say, why count your eggs before they hatch? I guess it does something to you. Something Dr Robi (A clinical Psychologist) said previously was this, when you engage in gratitude, what doesn't ill you only makes yo strongerand that grateful people are less likely to feel envy, regret and produce stress in our lives. 

So what can we be excited about in the coming few months? I don't know man, but one thing that I'm certain of, I can't wait for them to happen. I can't wait for those breakthroughs and am hoping for amazing things to happen.

PSA. If you haven't heard, Innervate CrossFit is going to be opening soon. STAY TUNED!

Cross-Fit #149 The Dry Spell

I don't know if you've noticed but Singapore just overcame perhaps the biggest drought in like fifty years or so. It came to an end when the rain hit just a week ago.

It was really hot and really dry.

It was so dry that the grass along the pavements started to brown out.

Gosh, I recall everyone just pleading for it to rain already.

It's as if the rain came miraculously and suddenly.

When it came, gosh it came mightily. 

Sometimes, we have dry periods.

We do.

We experience dryness not just in work or in life or even in the weather.

We experience dryness in our training in CrossFit.

You seem to hit a wall.

You can't progress anymore.

Every single day, suddenly the training program becomes more and more arduous.

You're more inclined to sit at home, order a pizza and watch YouTube than go and hit the box.

CrossFit does that to you sometimes.

In fact, I think every sport does that to you.

I won't call it a burn out, no no.

It's just a really dry period. Things are just hard going in every aspect.

And often, our lives aren't segmented that easily.

One thing affects another.

If training is bad, gosh, it spills over to your relationships, time management and lifestyle.

But what happens when the brook dries up?

When happens when you have somehow no more gas to continue?

Where is the rain? Where is it when you are truly desperate?

I guess that's what Faith is all about.

It's when the dry spell comes and is here to stay but you keep on the good work.

Your spirit is down, you are tired.

This is when you must remember what God has done for you.

You must remember what he has done for you in your past victories and also defeats.

You have to recall the promises in the Bible and his hand upon your life.

Each step of the way.

Every single step of the way.

Remember that God is Good all the time.

And all the time, God is Good.

Like how the dry spell came to an end in a spectacular fashion.

Your dry spell has an expiry date too.

You too, can come back stronger than ever.

But hang in there. Hang in there.

Remember your dreams, remember your visions.

Let it be the guiding force of your life.

Let what you do, resound with passion every single day.

Because rain will come.

#Cross-fit 148 Are you ready?

It's less than a week away...

It's the time of the year yet again.

The Opens!

This year, however, was slightly different.

After last November, the shoulder was quite out of action.

So it really dealt quite a big blow to be physically as well as emotionally.

Strength wise, i wasn't able to do very much for my upper body.

Mentally, I just somehow lost a whole lot of spirit.

Then for some amazing miraculous reason, I started to recover, FAST.

One and a half months ago, I was pretty sure, I wouldn't be in the running for the Opens.

Weights being pulled were simply not there yet.

However, right now, I'm just a couple of pounds shy of my previous maxes.

Which in turn translates to my shoulders pretty much being at a 100%.

So yes, just a week ago, I signed up for the opens.

Unprepared. Completely unprepared.

I signed up for the Opens.

Why? I mean, I haven't been really focusing and dialing down the extra metcons.

I haven't been working as intensely as previous years.

So why bother?

I realized that at the end of the day, the CrossFit Games is really gonna be a test of my fitness.

Right here, right now, how fit am I?

How capable am I of certain tasks? No matter my current physical state.

But that's life isn't it?

There isn't gonna be any big sign boards telling you to prepare for a big ordeal coming your way.

It just happens.

And when it does, how're you gonna respond to that?

Are you gonna face up to the challenges or flee completely?

The Opens is upon us, I'm facing that head on.

Irregardless of how I perform, how well or how badly I do.

I'm gonna be happy and thankful that I'm given this opportunity to do so.

CrossFit Games Opens 2014.

Let's get it on!

Cross-fit #147 Attention

There's a kid in all of us.

We all love to move, jump, throw, run and do things that kids all like to do.

And it's not exactly a bad thing. Just like kids, seeing some people do things they never thought they could, makes it all worth it.

However, just like kids, we adults sometimes have the attention span of kids as well.

Ever had a few moments where you just came back from a rough day of work.

Walked in to the box and gosh the workout is extremely tough.

And to add to the fire, it's technical too.

The movements need to be carefully taught before executed.

And now you grow impatient. Then you do the one thing that is so natural.

You switch off. You begin looking around, playing around with your own weights and bars without really paying attention.

However, its the minor details and attention you give that would really help in producing a great athlete in you. It's the attention you give that will prevent you from being injured.

Just like kids, we all love to have fun.

Sometimes, we take it overboard.

Then we get hurt, we come home crying and complaining about this teacher or that.

However, instead of being kids, now we're adults. We aren't exactly in the position to go home to mummy or daddy. Then what do we do? We take it upon ourselves and just not show up altogether.

Each step of the way, we have to learn to pay attention to the simplest of instructions, no matter how mundane, there's always something new to learn or better still, remember.

Cross-fit #146 The habit

"I am your constant companion. I am your greatest helper or heaviest burden. I will push you onward or drag you down to failure. I am completely at your command. Half of the things you do you might just as well turn over to me and I will be able to do them quickly and correctly.

I am easily managed – you must merely be firm with me. Show me exactly how you want something done and after a few lessons, I will do it automatically. I am the servant of all great individuals and, alas, of all failures, as well. Those who are great, I have made great. Those who are failures, I have made failures.

I am not a machine, though I work with the precision of a machine plus the intelligence of a human. You may run me for profit or run me for ruin – it makes no difference to me.

Take me, train me, be firm with me, and I will place the world at your feet. Be easy with me and I will destroy you.
I am Habit"

Habits is the root of commitment to a lifestyle or anything at all in life.
Your life is effectively determined by it.
In the small and big things.
From hygiene to business.
From lifting to walking posture.
Habit forms the basis for success and it's going to be so especially in Crossfit.

Form the habit of walking up to the bar with the same procedure every single time.
Form the habit of mentally cueing in your head when it does get tiring.
Form the habit of simply showing up day after day even after a totally smashed day.
Habits like these make the progress easier, it makes the ride less painful.

Similarly, habits form the basis of any successful individual out there.
Do a quick Google and you'l notice many habits of successful people and the small little things that they do.
Notice that, the habits aren't big noticeable ones.
Most crucial habits are the small ones. Those that go unnoticed.
But those habits are the ones that will bring discipline, maturity and confidence in your life.

Jesus had the habit of praying daily, even when he was so tired in the garden of Gethsemane.
Because of this habit, he had the mental capacity to deal with the other issues which needed more drive.
Form good habits.
Because they're going to determine, You.

Cross-fit #145 Caution vs Fear

In the midst of rapidly recovering from my injury, I feel like I'm just starting out all over again.
I find myself re-learning movements, re-learning the basics of basics.
And excelling at them, even though they're darn simple.
Then there're movements which are just ground-breaking, those which I (Kinda) never thought I was going to do ever again, or at least not in the near future.
Things like Snatching, Jerking, Toes To Bar or Muscle Ups.
I recall doing them and being in utter amazement at how great God is.
But of course, there's always that fear in the back of my head.
So many, what-ifs....
What if I fall and injure myself? What if I snatch and somehow dislocate my shoulder?
So much fear.

Of course, I went into those movements because I was given the green light by none other than Coach.
He encouraged (Forced) me to do them.
So after succeeding, there's still that sense of fear.
Coach asked, "Any pain? Any at all?"
The response was, "No, but I'm scared, really scared".
Coach replied, "It's not fear, it is now caution and you need to be cautious".

I realized that there's really a fine line between being cautious and being fearful.
Being cautious is to take extra care, to pay extra attention to every detail that is in a movement. It focuses and brings out the best while pushing the limits bit by bit.
Being afraid, simply just causes you to be all over the place. You keep thinking of the problem, such that there's a good chance that it might just actually occur. You focus on the problem not the solution.
We should be cautious and not afraid.
In our movements, approach to Crossfit and even to life.
Be cautious of a workout, know that it is going to be spicy but give the appropriate attention to the smallest of details to make you succeed. Being afraid just causes you to hesitate and might even "fear-out" from doing it altogether.
Be cautious in life, be aware of your surroundings and your environment you're working in. Be aware of the fine points in that big presentation. Don't be afraid because that'll just cause you to stumble.

"For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind."
Even in our relationship with God.
Live life, not just as one whom is afraid of God and the consequences that might arise because you sin.
But to know and have Godly fear, to be aware that his presence is here and to live life because you want to do it right, not because of the potential downfalls.
We all live for the Glory of God in our lives. So when the time comes and we have to actually make certain decisions to live it right, are we going to do so because we're afraid of going to hell? Or are we doing so because we want to please God.
The mental state of both approaches are so similar but are in fact, very different.

Live life differently.
Not being afraid, because living in fear or things isn't going to help you grow.
Live life with caution and embrace that God-given freedom you have.

CROSS-fit #144 The little battles

Social media, advertising and marketing have sensationalized the big battle.

You see the big games on the court or field. You see clips of big dunks and big lifts.

You see the big battles and big victories.

Little do they know that the big battles have already been decided weeks before it has even begun

The media has perverted the way someone actually achieves success

it begins in the small battles and the big one is just the one tipping point of it all.

It's the little things in your life that count, not the small ones.

The BIG battles could be, Making that big Clean or Snatch.

It could be the big business deal which is about to be clinched.

But really, the important moments are the small ones.

Just turning up day after day, is a victory in itself.

Deciding to show up, deciding to make a conscious decision to push yourself daily.

Not giving up when you're tired, not from the workout or from your job, but deep down inside in your spirit.

That's a small victory.

It's these small victories which make a man.

Rich Froning wasn't made overnight. I'm sure he had many small battles.

Live life like Christ, fight those small battles day after day, to make yourself count for Christ.

Fight the temptation, that nudging thought in your head, it might be a small battle, but win them all.

2013

When I thought that 2012 was pretty much the best year yet, with all that travelling and new experiences in the states.
2013 somehow seemed to outdo itself. Perhaps the lessons from 2012 just carried forward to 2013.
I don't think I'm gonna do what I normally do, record the year in pictures, soundtracks or places.
I suppose 2013 is more than that...

The magic happened quietly this year.
The spark was set off many times and passions caught fire once again.
Could I have done anything better in 2013? Of course I could have.
But nah, wouldn't have changed a single thing.

If I could, I wanna thank God for just a few things.

For the friends and family I have around me.
Everyone, really everyone.
I  may miss you out... But the international friends, ISE buds, Shelby, 1989, BDPs, E406, Crossfitters and Ning :)
You've all made my journey in 2013 a whole lot sweeter.
Through all the opportunities and encouragements, you've made me able to pursue my dreams.
You've given me courage to live freely again.

For the dreams, revived.
When they say that life can come back to dry bones.
It is indeed true. :)
Visions, dreams and passions have never burnt bright, never burnt stronger.
May it continue to grow each passing year.

For the opportunities I never saw coming.
From the startup ideas to the open doors to coaching and even the ultimately random Europe trip.
God has literally dropped blessings into my life.
Even bumping consecutively into a certain someone and eventually seeing magic happen.
And at every juncture, it was a full on pursuit.
Success or failure, you'll never know till you try. Isn't it?

For the failures I've had
For each and every one of them. Painful and sad.
From injuries, to mistakes in life, loss of relationships and fails in school.
Every single one of them got me thinking deeper each time.
Reflecting back on the decisions I've made and how things just could've been better.
It just prepares me for 2014!

2013 was awesome ya'll.
Looking forward to 2014 with everyone else :)

CROSS-fit #143 Complacency

It's the root of all evil in Crossfit.
Complacency quickly kills of any gains by any athlete or trainer.
It reduces you from a well established individual to one whom can't hold much anymore.
When someone thinks that, "I'm pretty good, I think I'm there".
Is where the fall really begins.

When you start being lazy and treating your training sessions as 'just another workout'.
When you start taking the presence of your coach and your fellow athletes for granted.
When you start thinking that you're grown up enough to live your life without any guidance (Spiritually).
Then it's the start of ego, pride creeping in.
When these come into the picture it isn't pretty.
It's written right smack outside the box in Crossfit Singapore.
"Leave your ego at the door".

Why? Why no ego or complacency in the box?
With ego, you turn a blind eye to your own faults, you begin to notice the faults of others instead.
You begin to think that you're probably stronger and fitter than everyone here.
The downhill descend to injury is what awaits you.

Leave ego or complacency at the door.
Hang on, lemme change that.
Leave ego or complacency outta your life. Period.