Draw closer to me. No don't pull back cause you'll never know what may happen.
I'm now at a juncture in which I hardly can understand.
What am I supposed to feel?
How am I supposed to react to this?
Should I take it with excitement? I suppose so. But then again, I realize that it's forced out.
It's not the most natural feelings I have. Very strangely.
But then it gets interesting when you realize that you're now in a position of no choices.
We have no option whatsoever. Giving ourselves no time to adapt.
Hmmm, Life can be a chore, but it's when we actually do enjoy the chore.
I always have that choice. I always have an option even in a dead end situation.
Whether to push forward or whether to just give up and throw in the towel.
No, I haven't been the strongest fighter in the ring.
Haven't been able to conquer them demons within.
Yeah, I can boast about how I fight in many areas. When I can take the pain.
Cause that I know I can. Give it to me, cause I'm the tank.
But when it comes to fighting the feelings out, I just can't.
It has to originate from within.
When I now know that the outcome is on me.
It always has. I have a choice in this. Whether I want to enter the fighting ring.
Whether I'll run away like a chicken or stand firm in my beliefs and rough it out till the day breaks.
When the violators come and attack, You stand firm.
But no, that's not it. You get to call your fights. You choose whether you win or lose.
I admit, I have been losing recently.
Very easily, I throw in the towel. Giving it up cause I have to guts to trust in myself.
Then I realized on the drive home. It's a time like this when I can say.
If I can't change myself, How am I supposed to change those looking up to me, How can I possibly change the World.
How do I inspire those fighting this same fight to not give up when I'm on the verge of it as well.
Moving it by examples should be the key to this success.
I want to be that role.
I want to cause myself to change for others.
Yeah, I know I have to render change in this attitude of mine.
Possibly effect from now. And yes, I refuse to give in.
But no, I can't do it alone. I really can't. I need everyones help in this.
The brothers by my right and companions by my left.
I've been carried by them for so long. I will not lose Faith now.
Not when the miracles are coming.
SOT will be the best time of my life.
It will be the time where I can proudly say that I've done all I can.
When the towel is used not to throw it in to signal surrender.
No, not this fight.
The towel will be used to wipe the perspiration which drips from my brows when it gets rough.
The towel will be used to remove the tears falling from the sockets when the pain gets too hard to bear, when the sacrifices mean too much
The towel will be used to clean the blood of the sword of the spirit when I slay them demons.
The towel will definitely be used to absorb the oil and giving me that fresh aroma again.
Lastly, It will be used to tend to the wounds I receive from the battle. Cause there will be scars.
I believe it, So please, Believe with me.
I need you of all people, Shiming.
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