Listening to : Keep it real - Jonas Brothers

So I have officially been matriculated into the society of Iphone users.
That implies a few things I suppose,
ORD LOH.
And of course I join the ranks of almost every other teen my age whom uses the phone.
It's handy, it's useful.
I'm not a very big fanatic of this phone honestly.
I really ain't. But the salesperson really made it sound quite obvious in my face.
If I don't get an Iphone, I'm an Idiot.
Strange thing was that he isn't a Apple salesperson but a Singtel one.
So I guess his advice would come from a less biased source.
So yes, the phone feels great actually, quite light and at the same time comes with music.
Yes, thats like my one and only concern actually.
MUSIC. I need it in my phone. or at least it'll be great if i have an abundance of it.

Strangely the salesperson seemed very friendly.
The moment I told him I was in army he kind of gave me alot more priority.
After choosing and all, he conversed with me a little asking me about my unit and all.
Very shockingly, we were from the same unit! He knows my Boss!
That is rather funny. Which made things alot easier.
More so I can trust his opinion on the phone choice.
It's still in the morning so nothing much to blog about. More later!

Listening to : Under the knife - Rise Against

So I'm doing an entry twice a day now.
I'm finding it strange cause I've got nothing to do.
So i've decided to watch a movie on youtube and all.
It's called Never Back Down. Yes I've watched it like ten times or so.
It's by far one of the most inspiring movies of not giving up.
Then I found a rather interesting truth in all that fighting.
Everyone has a fight, not just you not just me, everyone.
There's a time when someone will be tested and you'll be thrown in the ring.
Then what? Then do you fight? Do you step in or back down?

Everyone has a certain battle, be it physical, be it mental, be it spiritual.
Something of epic proportions which will determine the rest of your life.
When we're put to the test, it's very contrary to many peoples belief.
Instead of it messing you up, you control the outcome.
It's all on you, always has been.
You just need to step up to the challenge.
No it won't be easy, it involves quite a bit of beating, scars, bruises, lots of pain.
Thats why we have to train for it, to prepare ourselves for this fight.
Different period have different fights.
No you don't waste your energy on useless battles and conflicts, you focus on the one big challenge. You focus on the one big fight.

Why do you fight? Is it for yourself?
If it is, then it's not reason enough for it.
So, since everyone has this one battle. When do we know?
When do we know that this is it?
When you find yourself saying to yourself, you fight this fight to never fight again.
Thats when you realize that this is it.
Take some time to think to yourself, we fight everyday of our lives.
We give it quite a bit of ourselves each day, but it's out attitude that matters.
It's the fighting spirit.
Don't give up on yourself, others won't give up on you.

If we could make a difference, than I'll fight.
Fight for the lives I care for, for me to say that I've done all I can to ensure that they're proud and happy.

So why do I run?
Why do I pain myself each day?
No, it's not cause I like it and enjoy the pain, it can get tiring at times.
It's not just to keep fit and look good, I can't be bothered.
So why do I keep pushing myself all these time?
Is it to prove something to myself? To have a false hope of winning and succeeding?
To feel part of something bigger?
Is it really solely cause of Shiming?
Right here, Right now, this is my fight.
I will keep running to find the reason why.
I will keep fighting on to understand.
Either way, this work for me.
To have the person on my left and right go strong together. That is probably it.

Listening to : Morning after dark - Timbaland

I've somehow come to the habit of listening to the song "she's got you high" everytime I turn on the computer. I think its a happy go lucky song.
It's the kind of song you would want to start your day with.
So the trainings that I've been going through weren't the most fantastic.
In fact, they were rather torturous. I would honestly be pleading for mercy soon.
But this is the route I have to take if I want to get back in shape.
In the Fighting shape! It ain't like the easiest thing to do. But I guess takes a tad bit more of determination.
The days have been passing by rather slowly. In fact, life seems stale.
No I'm not trying to say that I'm getting spiritually stagnant.
But there's simply nothing to do!
Get a job? Perhaps, but what I'm looking at starts only in January next year. I'm not exactly willing to commit as of now.
I still want a good long holiday.

Well, that brings me to another point.
How much rest is enough rest? Alot of people determine rest as sleep...
Some consider rest as playing and having fun outside.
There's alot of different variations.
At the same time, why do we even need rest?
I will not even begin to break down the many possibilities of us having different forms of rest. For many, sleep is all sufficient. However, the stress they get from work is really too much to bear.
They are stressed to the point of dying, the sad thing about them is that they're unable to work more to relieve it.
They have to succumb to the time work standards set by the firm.
So their rest is considered to be a holiday or a good day off with the family.
There's just so many possibilities and different forms of rest.

But why do we need rest?
When God gave his commandments, one of it was to keep the Sabbath.
To honor the day of REST.
Yeah, we're not machines, we need a break once in a while. In fact, we need rest on a regular basis in order for us to improve ourselves.
First analogy, in running, if an individual takes little time to rest and keeps pushing himself with 2 trainings a day.
I'm very sure the outcome of his workouts would be more detrimental than helpful to his fitness and speed.
In built in humans, we have this capacity for work and stress.
When it comes to the point where we bust that limit, we call this the 'burn out'. When you really just don't find the motivation anymore.
Yes we can all say that the motivation is God and all.
I admit thats good and important and all.
However, even the biggest and strongest workers have their rest days.
Look at Pastor Kong, even he takes time off to see his family.
Everytime he says he goes to LA, it kind of makes me happy to know that he's getting his share of rejuvenation.
I've seen too many people burn out especially in the tough times.

In days like these when the economy is not doing well and results are all that matters, people are forced to work over and beyond their capacity.
Yes, its a dog eat dog world, but we shouldn't be too competitive such that we miss out on the things which really matter in life.
Our lives itself.
I urge and encourage all those having exams, going through tough times, to take a break once in a while.
Honestly, have a kit-kat.
A levels, O levels, Recession.
Its all the same, cause the benefits are this rest are much greater than that if you didn't do so in the beginning.

Don't get me wrong, I don't advocate laziness (though I may be)
Everything should be kept in balance.
Work should definitely outweigh your rest.
A good proportion? 1-7.
As said in the bible.
I've did it before, I've succeeded before.
Yes, thats the end of this entry. This is really meant for those working away in their books preparing for the big A's. All the best!!!!!!!

Listening to : According to you - Orianthi

The two best places to blog.
On my bed and after a solid run.
Contrary to many people's belief, you do alot of thinking when you are actually running.
You try to shut your mind off from the pain and try to go into a 'trance' or some sort of runners high. However, in the midst of all of it, you'll subconsciously start thinking.
The issues which hit you head are very surprisingly the issues which are closest to you.
The few things which come across my mind are like shiming, my connect group etc etc.
In fact, the very worry-some things are those which come across my mind.
I find myself most at peace with myself and closest to my inner self when I run.
Ok, in this, I don't mean sprinting, I mean long distance running.
The biggest thing which runs through my mind while sprinting is,
PAIN PAIN PAIN STOP STOP AHHHHHHHH
Somewhere along those lines I guess.

So what did I think of when I was running today?
Well, strangely its the idea of familiarity and bridging that gap towards another person.
First, let me set the story straight,
I'm going for track training tomorrow after God knows how long.
I'm not too afraid of me not being fit or anything like that, I'm more worried about the fact that I don't know anybody there except like Mr Wong and a few others.
The thing is that I used to go for training solely for the company and the inspirations they give me.
However, this time round there's not going to be anybody.
I was wondering how is it going to be like? Will it be boring? Will I give up easier? Will I even go?
Alot of these questions were honestly crossing my mind.

However, another point was shot across when I realized that it was true that in many areas of life, I can be very friendly, at the same time very very 'arrogant' like.
Its honestly a very hypocritical way of working.
But I guess this is just me and I find it tough to break the habit.
Thus familiarity is something which is of great importance when it comes to having fun.
I've seen some who totally are new to a group but blend in very well with the dynamics.
It's all about how we all react towards things and our attitudes towards it.
Like how Master Uguay would say in the movie 'Kung Fu Panda'.
"There's no such thing as good or bad news, there's only news, how we perceive it is what matters". Or somewhere along those lines.
So whats the outcome for tomorrow?
I honestly still don't know. Guess I'll be going there and try to act as a Senior?
How I wish it could just be like the old days when things were so much easier.
The very pleasing thing is that I'm still welcomed according to Mr Wong.
And yes, very thick skinned styled, I'll definitely be there as long as one person in a hundred wants me there. Oh oh oh.

Listening to : Time for miracles - Adam Lambert

The words were smooth, tone was politically right.
The talk was close to almost flawless. It was indeed impressive.
I have to admit, and I don't doubt the words which came out of his mouth.
They were genuine, very real and truthful.
However, how much I took in was sadly alot lesser than that of what he expected.
Not trying to be rebellious of any sort.
I'm very fine with things being said out like this.
Out on the table, very clean, very real.
Yes, I may be stubborn at times. but so are many others.
If its true and if its undoubtedly correct, then I might just take heed.
it may even move me at times.
So why do I even regard the words of people such as Pastor or my Parents?
I tried to give myself an evaluation.
I still found little or no clue at all. However, I'm sure that its something to do with authority and stuff like that.
Call me prideful still, but please don't call the kettle black.

Certain things in life need not be shared across the table in front of others.
These are the issues of life which I hold in high regard.
Things which may be good to the extent of me being unfit to share on their behalf.
However, certain things may hold too much grudge in regard for me to say.
Like what I said, I guess respect is earned, its given to those which I deem to be honored and feared.

Anyway, I have to agree that not everything may be profitable.
If thats really the case, then life would really be boring, wouldn't it?
Sorry, but call us scoundrels if you want. I really can't be bothered anymore.

Listening to : She's got you high - Mumm Ra

I'm not a real big fan of events. I really ain't.
In fact, many a times, I prefer just laying back and enjoying it.
Well, this time was a rather big eye opener for me.
Instead of just being the mere consumer, I was a contributor.
It took quite alot out of me actually.
In fact, writing this entry today is really very draining.
However, I'm still very pleased with the outcome of today.
Firstly, there were many many groups of people who came, which made it really exciting!
Everyone really went out of their way to really dress up.
In fact, it was really a good show!

I wouldn't go into detail of what really happened, but out of this whole halloween event,
I am quite sure I brought back something which was really dear to me.
An experience like no other. This is the 2nd halloween I've been to.
So far the best I've ever been to.
The chemistry between certain people have greatly strenghtened.
In fact, I now know those which I can rely on to do a good job to the fullest and rush together when the time calls for it.

It wasn't a simple job scaring over and over again.
Yes it was entertaining at first, but it gets really tiring.
If you think it is tiring walking through the maze, try scaring EVERYONE whom passes you by.
It ain't easy at all. In fact, it took us a good 4 hours to prepare everything which was torn down in one hour. Quite shocking actually.
Another aspect to this was well being supportive to this event.
When one is genuinely interested in it, would you really go out of the way to ignore your tiredness and accomodate his desires?
Yes it means making the extra effort, but if it is required of you, will you do it?
If it means putting on a smile even when you've had a terrible day at work.
If it means sucking up your tiredness to appear like you're enjoying a session.
This is applicable to one especially when your partner or accomplice is new and really shy but is actually very interested deep down inside.

Enough said on that topic, I guess what happens does so for a reason.
It brought to me some lessons for myself.
I've come to realize not to over estimate myself and not to over expect from everyone else.
Though it is a very sad reality, I should always place my expectations just slightly lower.
Despite this, it can't be helped if I expect too much at times?
However, most of the crew I worked with today really backed me up alot.
So much so I can't help but to begin to expect more from them.
I'm pleased with the attitudes of many of the guys I have around me.
I don't care what others may say about them, I have my trust in them.
Even if others ridicule us as a whole about this event, I'll stand up for it.
Cause it wasn't just any event, it was don with lots of sweat and scares.

Today also showed something very interesting,
the costumes everyone wore, it doesn't reflect your character.
But it reflects the attitude you want to have to events which you may be less interested in.
I was personally into it from the start cause I was launched as a component in the programme.
However, for many, the dress up may have been vastly played up, which is actually really funny, or sadly under performing which is disappointing.
Even shiming whom dressed so simply looked so original.
It all takes the effort to do so.
All in all, I really enjoyed the night. I analyzed things at the back of my mind.
But I really had lots of fun trying to scare and scaring eventually.

Thanks alot to those who really played a big part in this.
The crew which helped to set up : Miyagi, Hades, Elmo, Darth Maul
The scaring party, Dead Daughter, Miyagi.
For the inspiration, everyone.
For the encouragement at last moments, my baby.
I began by saying I ain't a fan of events.
Now I am, bring it!!!!

Listening to : Forever Young - Jay Z

I'm honestly a surprisingly easy person to please.
Put some good food in front of me, I'm able to enjoy the night
Give me a good friend or company by my side doing nothing, I'll be pleased.
Indulge me by letting me run slightly faster than my normal pace.
Many people realize that their lives are not complete or rather, not fulfilled.
They have to occupy their time with something.
Without this satisfaction, it'll never be a FULL day or even a FULL life.
However, I've come to realize that its really the small little things that matter.
Don't get me wrong, I don't advocate "boringness".
I simply don't see the point in insisting to hang out for extended periods when honestly, it'll drain me more than satisfy me.
Yes there can be arguments that there's a need for fellowship, I honestly strongly support such a belief as well.
In fact, without this fellowship, how boring can life get?
That's the contact point where people's lives are touched, when we sit down and have a heart to heart talk.
Not to be so engrossed watching a movie or playing a game.
Guess to many this is what satisfaction really means.

Take some time, ask yourself...
What do you consider a fulfilled day?
When you've met up with ten people? When you've watched the movie with your friends? When you've played lan for a good 5 hours straight?
Or when you indulge in moments of worship?
Sit down and have an easy meal where you being there really matters?
I may sound old and boring to some. Maybe I really am?
However, I do have a balance in this. Just that tonight, I'd like to support a hardly heard point of view. Where at times, lesser is more.

Its very similar to the area of studying.
For me, I've been helping Shiming with her school work.
I realized that some post a good number of pure rubbish in the forum. Whereas I see some who post a few but are of real substance.
In this scenario, I'm sure those who really gave much thought in their comments or posts would net higher grades than those who simply spammed.
I've also come to realize that when I was studying for my A levels, I focused on one topic at a time.
However, more is always good. five minutes of quality studying is good. An hour of it is even better, its the same principle.
Half an hour of quality time with friends is great, a few hours of it is an indulgence.
So this is the theory of my life. To enjoy something, you really emphasize on it, give it more of your heart before your time.
That's a bigger sacrifice, a bigger achievement.

Ps. I've tried every way to edit this post, but i can',so sorry!!!

Listening to : Broken - Lifehouse

When your body, heart, sight fails you. What is your first reaction?
When you do not have control over your circumstances, you fear.
You are afraid of the unknown, of what is uncharted.
It is very likely that you wouldn't cross boundaries which you have never gone before.
Limits are set into place to really place our minds in a cage.
Laws of science should be broken as easily as they are made.
This is what I've come to realize.
The more we know, the more we lack.
I'm very amazed by the actions and thoughts of a child.
When he does not know the real law of gravity, he believes he can fly.
If he wasn't taught this by his parents, he wouldn't stop believing that.
Maybe thats actually possible?

Another approach to this concept would be the idea that with such laws of limitation, we also bring to light the many solutions that have come to pass.
Yes, the little boy was wrong, he shouldn't be thinking of flying.
However, in our modern age, that is now possible. We have defied gravity in a sense.
Isn't this amazing?
If we look around, maybe we're really too sheltered by all these limitations.
Since everyone knows that the World Record for the 100m by Usain Bolt is now 9.53 sec.
The normal person would fixate his thoughts into believing that he CANNOT pass such a mark.
However, maybe some really can but are just limited.
They don't believe in themselves strong enough to look at that record in the eyes and say that they can take it on.

We set and build our lives around these limitations.
Don't drink or eat unhealthy stuff, don't sleep with another, don't talk to strangers.
Its just sooo many laws.
I'm definitely not saying they're bad, some are required.
But they set too closed a boundary for all of us.
When the time comes for such a boundary to be teared down, we can't.

And at many a times, when we are about to be disappointed, we fall back to these walls.
They give us comfort, but very often, false comfort.
It is an excuse for us to under achieve at times.
Ultimately, its all up to us to determine whether we consider such issues or not.
We are the substances, not the technicalities which make the difference.
When men to your left rise and fall, you don't. You stand and believe that you can achieve.
Cause nobody said you couldn't, nobody placed that thought of giving up in it.
Even if you do, overcome it!

Listening to : Never knew I needed - Neyo

After watching such a show like "my sisters keeper", I can't help but start to think.
What really happens when you know you're going to die?
It happens to all of us.
Maybe when we're even not prepared for it...
But say you knew you were when you were really young really soon.
Which was honestly quite sad.
The whole shoe revolved around many many concepts.
Alot of it was very interesting.
I won't go into such detail as to what those topics were.
In fact, most of it didn't even move me. Yeah, there were heart warming parts.
But what struck me was how she chose to die but in a manner in which she saw fit.
Happy.

So what would be your last few dying wishes?
What would your last few days be like?
Maybe it won't be the most exciting of all but maybe the most meaningful of all.
On the way home, I was actually pondering, what would I really do?

Firstly, on my bed, in my last few days, I would want to meet all of my friends.
The close ones that is.
To tell them how much they meant to me, how much they are treasured by me.
Secondly, I'll elect to be discharged immediately.
Then I'll head out to live my life.
If I die, I want to do it doing the things I love.
I wouldn't really want to die in my bed.
I wanna die doing something I really love.
Being with shiming, running, eating.
Some stuff like that.
I dunno...
Maybe I'm too young for this. But who knows....